Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it could be more concise and structured. Avoid redundancy and try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, try to complete your sentences fully and avoid abrupt endings.

例: Yes, I really like eating chocolate because I have a sweet tooth. However, since I'm currently on a diet to lose weight, I avoid sugar most of the time. Still, I tend to enjoy chocolate more during my PMS and periods because it helps me feel better.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but could be improved by using clearer linking words and more precise vocabulary. Also, avoid repeating phrases like 'as I have mentioned before' and try to complete your thoughts more clearly.

例: I used to eat chocolate almost every day because I have a strong sweet tooth. However, now I rarely eat it, maybe once every week or two, especially when I'm on a free diet and can indulge without worry.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and lacks clarity. Try to finish your sentences and provide specific reasons or examples. Also, be careful with grammar and vocabulary, such as 'caffeine' and its effects.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a child, just like many other kids. However, I have heard that some parents now limit their children's chocolate intake because it contains caffeine, which can affect their sleep and behavior.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and does not address the question. Try to provide a clear topic sentence and support it with reasons or examples. Use linking words to organize your ideas.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes delicious and can be enjoyed in many forms. Additionally, it often brings comfort and is associated with celebrations and gifts.

提案: Your answer is relevant but incomplete and somewhat repetitive. Try to finish your sentences and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I enjoy a variety of chocolate flavors, but my favorite is chocolate combined with hazelnut, like Nutella. However, since I'm on a diet, I mostly eat dark chocolate with over 80% cocoa content nowadays.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be clearer and more concise. Avoid vague phrases like 'for other occasions' without explanation. Use linking words to organize your ideas logically.

例: I think chocolate can be a good gift depending on the recipient and the occasion. For example, I often bring chocolate when visiting someone for the first time or as part of a souvenir gift, sometimes along with flowers or plants.

× I really enjoy eating chocolate and sugars as well.

✓ I really enjoy eating chocolate and sugar as well.

The word 'sugar' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized as 'sugars'. Use the singular form 'sugar' when referring to it in general.

× But I remember during my PMS and periods I really enjoy.

✓ But I remember during my PMS and periods I really enjoyed it.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. Since 'I remember' is past, the action 'enjoy' should be in past tense 'enjoyed' to maintain consistency. Also, adding 'it' clarifies the object.

× I hardly have and maybe once in a week or two weeks.

✓ I hardly have any and maybe once a week or every two weeks.

The phrase 'once in a week or two weeks' is awkward. The correct expressions are 'once a week' or 'once every two weeks'. Also, 'hardly have' needs an object like 'any' to be grammatically correct.

× Then I'm on a free diet so I don't mind having a chocolate.

✓ Then I'm on a free diet so I don't mind having chocolate.

The word 'chocolate' here is uncountable when referring to the substance in general, so the article 'a' should be removed.

× I remember having a chocolate during my childhood and like any other children I believe but nowadays I have heard that parents are prohibiting their children to have chocolate because it has a caffeine and it causes their.

✓ I remember having chocolate during my childhood like any other children, I believe, but nowadays I have heard that parents are prohibiting their children from having chocolate because it has caffeine and it causes problems.

'Having a chocolate' should be 'having chocolate' because 'chocolate' is uncountable here. 'A caffeine' is incorrect because 'caffeine' is uncountable and does not take an article. Also, 'prohibiting their children to have' should be 'prohibiting their children from having'. The sentence was incomplete and unclear at the end, so 'it causes their' was corrected to 'it causes problems' for clarity.

× I usually like the combination of chocolate with the hazelnut like Nutella.

✓ I usually like the combination of chocolate with hazelnuts like Nutella.

'Hazelnut' should be plural 'hazelnuts' when referring to the ingredient in general.

× I'm mostly having dark chocolate which are 80 plus percentage and.

✓ I'm mostly having dark chocolate which is 80 plus percent.

'Dark chocolate' is singular, so the verb should be 'is' not 'are'. Also, 'percentage' should be 'percent' when referring to concentration or amount.

× It actually depends whom you are giving the gift for and for which occasion.

✓ It actually depends on whom you are giving the gift to and for which occasion.

The preposition 'on' is needed after 'depends'. Also, 'giving the gift for' should be 'giving the gift to' because 'to' is the correct preposition for the recipient of a gift.

× I usually give chocolate as a gift to a person which I'm visiting for the first time maybe or along with some other flower or plants, and as a souvenir also.

✓ I usually give chocolate as a gift to a person whom I'm visiting for the first time, maybe, or along with some other flowers or plants, and also as a souvenir.

'Which' should be 'whom' when referring to a person as the object of the verb. 'Flower' should be plural 'flowers' to match 'plants'. The sentence structure was improved for clarity.