Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to improve grammatical accuracy and avoid redundancy. For example, use correct verb forms and avoid repeating the same idea. Also, keep your answer concise and clear.

例: Yes, I love chocolate because it helps improve my mood whenever I feel down. I often choose it as a sweet treat to cheer myself up.

提案: Work on sentence structure and clarity. Avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like 'But'. Also, complete your sentences fully and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Currently, I am on a diet, so I try to avoid eating chocolate often. However, when I crave something sweet, I enjoy a small piece, usually after lunch.

提案: Focus on grammatical accuracy and fluency. Avoid filler words like 'umm' and 'uh'. Complete your sentences and provide specific details to enrich your answer.

例: Absolutely, I loved chocolate as a child. I often asked my father to buy Dairy Milk Silk for me when we went to the market because it was my favourite.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and coherence. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid vague phrases like 'I heard somewhere'. Provide clear reasons with examples.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because many people have a sweet tooth. Additionally, dark chocolate is known to have health benefits, which makes it more appealing.

提案: Work on sentence completeness and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide clear, specific details.

例: My favourite chocolate flavour is Dairy Milk Silk with nuts and fruits, which I enjoyed as a child and still love today. I also like Ferrero Rocher chocolates.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure. Provide clear and concise reasons with examples to support your opinion.

例: Yes, I think chocolates make great gifts for many occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, and Diwali because they are widely appreciated and enjoyed.

× Whenever I feel to eat something sweet I choose chocolate because sometime I I'm not in a good mood.

✓ Whenever I feel like eating something sweet, I choose chocolate because sometimes I'm not in a good mood.

The verb 'feel' should be followed by 'like' plus the '-ing' form of the verb to express desire or inclination. Also, 'sometime' should be 'sometimes' to indicate frequency.

× Chocolate help me to change my mood so I love eating chocolates.

✓ Chocolate helps me to change my mood, so I love eating chocolate.

The singular noun 'Chocolate' requires the singular verb 'helps' for subject-verb agreement. Also, 'chocolates' is plural but here 'chocolate' as a mass noun is more appropriate.

× But sometimes I crave for sweet.

✓ But sometimes I crave sweets.

The verb 'crave' is not followed by the preposition 'for'. Also, 'sweet' should be plural 'sweets' to refer to sweet foods generally.

× Usually I take it when after my lunch or.

✓ Usually I take it after my lunch.

The phrase 'when after my lunch or' is incomplete and incorrect. The correct structure is 'after my lunch' to indicate time.

× Absolutely, I used to love chocolate when I were a kid.

✓ Absolutely, I used to love chocolate when I was a kid.

The subject 'I' requires the past tense verb 'was' instead of 'were' for correct subject-verb agreement in past tense.

× I always umm, demand the chocolate from my father whenever we go to the market.

✓ I always demand chocolate from my father whenever we go to the market.

The definite article 'the' before 'chocolate' is unnecessary here because 'chocolate' is used in a general sense. Also, 'demand' is a strong verb; 'ask for' might be more natural, but grammatically 'demand' is acceptable.

× Uh, I choose the umm, Dairy Milk Silk, which is my favorite chocolate and umm, it has.

✓ I choose Dairy Milk Silk, which is my favorite chocolate.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and umm, it has.' which is incomplete. The corrected sentence removes the incomplete part for clarity.

× According to my perception, the people who have sweet tooth love to eat chocolates and the other reason for it, I heard somewhere that the the dark chocolates help for the good, for the health reasons also.

✓ According to my perception, people who have a sweet tooth love to eat chocolates, and another reason is that I heard somewhere that dark chocolates are good for health reasons as well.

The phrase 'the people' is better as 'people' in general. 'Sweet tooth' needs the article 'a'. 'The other reason for it' should be 'another reason is that'. 'Help for the good' is incorrect; 'are good for' is correct. Also, 'the the' is a typo.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is Dairy Milk silk with nuts and fruits.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is Dairy Milk Silk with nuts and fruit.

'Fruits' is usually uncountable when referring to food ingredients, so 'fruit' is more appropriate here.

× So I used to eat it when I was a kid but nowadays also I love it.

✓ I used to eat it when I was a kid, and nowadays I also love it.

The sentence needs a conjunction 'and' to connect the two clauses properly, and 'nowadays also' should be 'nowadays I also' for correct word order.

× I apart from it I also like the Ferrero Rocher.

✓ Apart from it, I also like Ferrero Rocher.

The phrase 'I apart from it I' is incorrect. The correct structure is 'Apart from it, I also like...'. Also, 'the' before 'Ferrero Rocher' is unnecessary.

× According to my perception, the chocolates as a gift is the best option for every type of, umm, occasions like birthdays, Christmas, Diwali, every type of occasions are.

✓ According to my perception, chocolates as gifts are the best option for every type of occasion like birthdays, Christmas, Diwali.

'The chocolates' should be 'chocolates' in general. 'As a gift' should be plural 'as gifts' to match 'chocolates'. 'Is' should be 'are' to agree with plural subject. 'Every type of occasions are' is incorrect; 'every type of occasion' is singular.

× Good to have chocolates as a gift.

✓ It is good to have chocolates as a gift.

The sentence lacks a subject and verb. Adding 'It is' completes the sentence structure.