Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific reasons with linking words. Avoid filler words like 'umm' and incomplete phrases like 'somet'.

例: Yes, I really enjoy eating chocolate because it helps me relax and improves my mood. Since childhood, I've been fond of it, especially Belgian chocolates and a brand called Lajaraj, which is my favorite.

提案: Focus on directly answering the question first, then provide reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition. Also, correct grammar mistakes such as 'can also not good' to 'is not good'.

例: I usually eat chocolate once a week because eating too much is not good for my health. Moreover, I enjoy Belgian chocolates since they help me relax and improve my mood.

提案: Use past tense consistently and provide a clear topic sentence. Add specific details with linking words to make your answer more coherent.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate when I was a kid. In fact, I used to fight with my siblings over chocolate because I was very fond of it.

提案: Provide a more detailed and structured answer. Use linking words to explain your reasons clearly and avoid vague phrases like 'kids, adults, young'.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it appeals to people of all ages. Its sweet taste and versatility make it a favorite treat for children and adults alike.

提案: Make your answer more concise and avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'like'. Use linking words to explain your preference clearly.

例: My favourite flavour is vanilla chocolate because it is not too sweet and has a balanced taste. I also enjoy dark chocolate for its rich flavour.

提案: Answer directly and provide specific examples with linking words. Avoid incomplete sentences like 'and yeah'.

例: Yes, I think chocolate makes a great gift, especially for children on their birthdays. We also give chocolates during special occasions like festivals.

× I love eating chocolates umm because chocolates helps me relax my mood also and since childhood I am so fond of it.

✓ I love eating chocolate umm because chocolate helps me relax my mood also and since childhood I am so fond of it.

The word 'chocolates' is plural but the verb 'helps' is singular, causing a subject-verb agreement error. Also, 'chocolate' as a general food item is usually uncountable and used in singular form. Therefore, 'chocolate helps' is correct.

× And if anyone ask me I cannot deny to chocolates I don't know why.

✓ And if anyone asks me I cannot say no to chocolate, I don't know why.

The modal verb 'cannot' is correctly used but the phrase 'deny to chocolates' is incorrect. The verb 'deny' is not used with 'to' and 'chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate' as an uncountable noun. Also, 'ask' should be 'asks' for third person singular.

× And my most favorite chocolate is lajaraj also I love Belgian chocolates and somet.

✓ And my most favorite chocolate is Lajaraj; also, I love Belgian chocolates and some.

Proper noun 'Lajaraj' should be capitalized. 'Somet' seems to be a typo for 'some'. 'Belgian chocolates' is acceptable as plural here because it refers to types or pieces.

× Well as I mentioned earlier I am fond of chocolate so I eat once in a week because eating too much can also not good for my health.

✓ Well, as I mentioned earlier, I am fond of chocolate so I eat it once a week because eating too much is also not good for my health.

The phrase 'eat once in a week' is incorrect; it should be 'eat it once a week'. Also, 'can also not good' is incorrect; it should be 'is also not good' to agree with singular subject 'eating too much'.

× And also like I love eating Belgian chocolates they are so good like it helps me relax my mood so I just love eating chocolate.

✓ And also, I love eating Belgian chocolates; they are so good, like they help me relax my mood, so I just love eating chocolate.

The pronoun 'it' is incorrect referring to plural 'Belgian chocolates'; it should be 'they'. Also, punctuation is needed to separate ideas clearly.

× I eat a lot of chocolate when I was a kid, like I used to fight with my sibling for a chocolate.

✓ I ate a lot of chocolate when I was a kid, like I used to fight with my sibling for chocolate.

The verb 'eat' should be in past tense 'ate' to match 'when I was a kid'. Also, 'a chocolate' is incorrect; 'chocolate' is uncountable here.

× like I used to fight with my sibling for a chocolate.

✓ like I used to fight with my sibling for chocolate.

'Chocolate' is an uncountable noun and does not need an article 'a' in this context.

× Well, chocolate is very popular among kids, adults, young. Everyone eats chocolate because they are sweet.

✓ Well, chocolate is very popular among kids, adults, and young people. Everyone eats chocolate because it is sweet.

The word 'young' is incomplete; it should be 'young people'. Also, 'they are sweet' incorrectly refers to 'chocolate' which is singular; it should be 'it is sweet'.

× The sweet taste I believe.

✓ I believe it has a sweet taste.

The original sentence is a fragment and lacks a subject and verb. The correction provides a complete sentence with proper pronoun usage.

× so I love all the types of chocolates, but my most favorite chocolate is uh, vanilla chocolate because like it's not too sweet and it maintains it's in a balance I believe so that's why it is my favorite flavor, but I also love dark chocolate as well.

✓ so I love all types of chocolate, but my most favorite is vanilla chocolate because it's not too sweet and it maintains a balance, I believe. That's why it is my favorite flavor, but I also love dark chocolate as well.

'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as an uncountable noun. 'It's in a balance' is incorrect; it should be 'maintains a balance'. Also, 'most favorite' is redundant; 'favorite' suffices.

× it's a good idea to offer gift, especially to children on their birthdays and celebration.

✓ it's a good idea to offer gifts, especially to children on their birthdays and celebrations.

'Offer gift' should be 'offer gifts' to match plural context. Also, 'celebration' should be plural 'celebrations' to match 'birthdays'.