Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is enthusiastic and personal, which is good. However, it is a bit redundant and slightly unnatural in phrasing. Try to avoid repeating the same idea and use more natural expressions. Also, keep your answer concise within 4-5 sentences.

例: Yes, I really enjoy eating chocolate because it helps me relax when I'm stressed. The combination of sweetness and slight bitterness creates a perfect balance that makes me feel happier.

提案: Your answer is honest and detailed, but some phrases are unclear or unnatural, such as 'chocolate corner sore'. Try to use clearer and more common expressions. Also, avoid filler words like 'uhm' and keep your answer focused and coherent.

例: I probably eat chocolate more often than I should because I really love it. My boyfriend often brings me different kinds of chocolate, so I have quite a collection at home.

提案: Your answer has some unclear phrases like 'Green up' and 'GNU trendy product' which affect clarity. Also, grammar mistakes reduce the naturalness. Try to use simple, clear sentences and correct verb tenses to improve your answer.

例: No, I didn't eat much chocolate as a child because it was expensive and hard to find. But after I moved to the US, I started eating more to make up for it.

提案: Your answer tries to explain well but has some grammar and coherence issues. Avoid awkward phrases like 'a very healthy way of eating candy'. Use linking words properly and organize your ideas clearly.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it is a delicious snack enjoyed by many. Also, there are various types like milk, dark, and hazelnut chocolate, which appeal to different tastes.

提案: Your answer shows personal preference but contains some awkward phrasing and grammar errors. Use simpler and clearer sentences, and avoid incomplete sentences to improve clarity.

例: I am a dark chocolate lover. After trying many kinds like milk and white chocolate, I realized that I prefer dark chocolate because of its balanced bitterness.

提案: Your answer is positive and relevant but has some grammar mistakes and slightly awkward phrasing. Try to use correct verb forms and clearer sentence structures to sound more natural.

例: Yes, I often give chocolate as gifts for occasions like bridal showers because most people love it. Also, chocolate is easy to store, which makes it a practical gift choice.

× I would be guilty to answer this question because I probably eat chocolate way more often than I should be.

✓ I would be guilty to answer this question because I probably eat chocolate way more often than I should.

The modal verb 'should' is used without 'be' in this context. Adding 'be' after 'should' is incorrect because 'should' is followed directly by the base form of the verb, which is omitted here but implied. Therefore, 'should' alone suffices to express obligation or correctness.

× I would be a self-proclaimed chocolate corner sore and I have a very nice collection of chocolate because my boyfriend would bring me chocolate every time he comes to see me.

✓ I would be a self-proclaimed chocolate connoisseur and I have a very nice collection of chocolate because my boyfriend would bring me chocolate every time he comes to see me.

The phrase 'chocolate corner sore' is incorrect and seems to be a mishearing or misspelling of 'chocolate connoisseur.' 'Connoisseur' is a singular noun meaning an expert or enthusiast, which fits the context. Correcting this improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× When I grow up and I moved to the USI took my chance to really eat a lot to make up for it.

✓ When I grew up and I moved to the US, I took my chance to really eat a lot to make up for it.

The verb 'grow' should be in the past tense 'grew' to match the past tense context of the sentence. Also, 'USI' seems to be a typo and should be 'US.' Using consistent past tense verbs is necessary for grammatical correctness and clarity.

× Well, first of all, it is one of the best snacks and a very healthy way of eating candy or sweets In second of all, I think it has become a culture where there are very strict levels of sweetness and bitterness and different kinds of chocolate milk, dark I hazelnuts so.

✓ Well, first of all, it is one of the best snacks and a very healthy way of eating candy or sweets. Secondly, I think it has become a culture where there are very strict levels of sweetness and bitterness and different kinds of chocolate: milk, dark, hazelnut, and so on.

The phrase 'In second of all' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'Secondly' or 'In second place.' Also, the list of chocolate types needs proper punctuation and conjunctions for clarity. Using a colon and commas, and adding 'and so on' improves the sentence structure and readability.

× Myself is a dark chocolate lover and I would say so big after I sampled out many milk chocolates, white chocolate and other types of chocolates and I realized that.

✓ I am a dark chocolate lover and I would say so after I sampled many milk chocolates, white chocolate, and other types of chocolates and I realized that.

'Myself' is incorrectly used as the subject; the correct subject pronoun is 'I.' Also, 'so big' is unclear and likely incorrect; it is omitted for clarity. 'Sampled out' should be 'sampled.' Correct pronoun usage and verb choice are essential for grammatical accuracy.

× Oh yeah, it has been my gifts too many of my friends bridal showers or other occasions because who doesn't love chocolate, right?

✓ Oh yeah, it has been my gift for many of my friends' bridal showers or other occasions because who doesn't love chocolate, right?

The phrase 'my gifts too many of my friends bridal showers' is incorrect. It should be 'my gift for many of my friends' bridal showers.' The preposition 'for' is needed to indicate the occasion, and the possessive form 'friends'' is required to show ownership. Correct preposition and possessive usage improve clarity.

× And I would really enjoy to receive chocolate as a gift and to be honest, chocolate as a shelf stable product that serves the purpose of a gift very well.

✓ And I would really enjoy receiving chocolate as a gift and, to be honest, chocolate is a shelf-stable product that serves the purpose of a gift very well.

The verb 'enjoy' should be followed by a gerund ('receiving') rather than an infinitive ('to receive'). Also, the sentence lacks the verb 'is' after 'chocolate' to be grammatically correct. 'Shelf stable' should be hyphenated as 'shelf-stable' when used as an adjective. These corrections improve grammatical accuracy and sentence flow.