Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer needs to be more natural and grammatically correct. Avoid redundancy and try to form complete sentences. Also, clarify your points with linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I don't eat much chocolate because I am a fitness influencer and need to maintain a healthy diet. However, I do enjoy eating chocolate occasionally, maybe two or three times every six months.

提案: Try to respond directly and clearly. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid grammatical errors. Also, be specific about frequency and reasons.

例: I usually eat chocolate only on special occasions like family functions or birthday parties because it is not healthy and can have harmful effects on the body.

提案: Your answer has grammatical mistakes and unclear parts. Make sure to use past tense correctly and avoid unnecessary words. Provide a clear reason for your past behaviour.

例: Yes, I used to eat a lot of chocolate when I was a kid because I was unaware of its negative effects on health.

提案: Your answer is a bit confusing and has grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas clearly and use linking words to connect your points logically. Also, avoid vague expressions.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it is delicious and often used as a dessert. Moreover, giving chocolate can help strengthen relationships and reduce conflicts between people.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains errors. Use simple and clear sentences to express your preferences. Avoid irrelevant or confusing information.

例: My favourite flavour of chocolate is almond because it contains some protein and is healthier. I also like vanilla flavour sometimes, but I mostly prefer plain chocolate.

提案: Try to organise your answer better and avoid filler words like 'uh'. Use linking words to explain your opinion clearly and provide specific reasons.

例: I think chocolates make good gifts, but giving large hampers is not ideal because too much chocolate can harm health. Small packets of chocolates are better and can help strengthen bonds between people.

× Honestly, it does not eating too much chocolate, but I like to eating chocolate occasionally because I am a fitness influencer so I do not eat a lot of chocolates.

✓ Honestly, I do not eat too much chocolate, but I like to eat chocolate occasionally because I am a fitness influencer so I do not eat a lot of chocolates.

The verb 'does not eating' is incorrect because after 'does not' we use the base form of the verb, not the '-ing' form. Similarly, 'like to eating' should be 'like to eat'. This is a common error in verb form usage after auxiliary verbs.

× Occasionally. I can eat her like two or three times in six months.

✓ Occasionally, I can eat it like two or three times in six months.

The pronoun 'her' is incorrectly used to refer to chocolate, which is an object and should be referred to as 'it'. Using correct pronouns helps in clear communication.

× Mostly I like to eat chocolate occasionally, like in a family function or any kind of birthday parties be 'cause this is a not a good source of protein.

✓ Mostly I like to eat chocolate occasionally, like at a family function or any kind of birthday party because it is not a good source of protein.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; 'at' is used for events. Also, 'parties' should be singular 'party' to match 'any kind of'. 'Be 'cause' is informal and should be 'because'. Correct preposition and article usage improve sentence clarity.

× There are also very harmful effects to body, so I eat very less amount of chocolate.

✓ There are also very harmful effects on the body, so I eat a very small amount of chocolate.

The phrase 'effects to body' is incorrect; it should be 'effects on the body'. Also, 'very less amount' is incorrect; 'a very small amount' is the correct quantifier. Proper preposition and quantifier usage are important for accuracy.

× Yes, I eat a lot of chocolate, Even I eat two or three chocolates.

✓ Yes, I ate a lot of chocolate. Even I ate two or three chocolates.

The question is about past habits, so the past tense 'ate' should be used instead of present tense 'eat'. Consistent tense usage is necessary for clarity.

× Delete because I was a kid, I do not know about the negative effect of the chocolate, so I often eat too much chocolate in my childhood.

✓ Because I was a kid, I did not know about the negative effects of chocolate, so I often ate too much chocolate in my childhood.

The word 'Delete' is unnecessary and should be removed. Also, 'do not know' should be past tense 'did not know' to match the past context. 'Effect' should be plural 'effects' and 'eat' should be 'ate' for past tense. Proper sentence structure and tense consistency are important.

× According to me, chocolates are very popular in all over the world becaused chocolate mostly surprised loves between the relationships and also can destroy the any aggressive between our two persons are like a family members or any kind of boyfriend or girlfriend even.

✓ According to me, chocolates are very popular all over the world because chocolate mostly surprises love between relationships and can also destroy any aggression between two people, like family members or any kind of boyfriend or girlfriend.

The phrase 'in all over the world' is incorrect; it should be 'all over the world'. 'Becaused' is a misspelling of 'because'. 'Surprised loves' is incorrect; 'surprises love' is correct. 'Destroy the any aggressive' should be 'destroy any aggression'. 'Our two persons are like a family members' is incorrect; it should be 'between two people, like family members'. Correct prepositions, verb forms, and sentence structure are necessary for clarity.

× Chocolates are also very delicious and it can be used as a desert.

✓ Chocolates are also very delicious and can be used as a dessert.

'Desert' is incorrect; the correct word is 'dessert' meaning a sweet course. Also, 'it can be used' should be 'can be used' to agree with plural 'chocolates'. Correct word choice and subject-verb agreement are important.

× Mostly I like almond flavor because it creates some protein in chocolate and elements are very helpful for our health.

✓ Mostly I like almond flavor because it contains some protein and elements that are very helpful for our health.

'Creates some protein in chocolate' is incorrect; 'contains some protein' is correct. Also, 'elements are very helpful' should be 'elements that are very helpful' for clarity. Proper verb usage and sentence structure improve meaning.

× And sometimes I also eat vanilla flavor but most of the time I eat chocolate flavor because it is A2 much THT.

✓ And sometimes I also eat vanilla flavor, but most of the time I eat chocolate flavor because it is too much that.

The phrase 'A2 much THT' is unclear and seems to be a mispronunciation or typo. It should be 'too much that' or better rephrased for clarity. Proper word choice and clarity are important.

× I think the chocolates are a good source of gift but it is a bad when uh when we gift as a hamper becauses too much chocolate affect the health of any person.

✓ I think chocolates are a good gift, but it is bad when we give them as a hamper because too much chocolate affects the health of any person.

'Source of gift' is incorrect; 'good gift' is correct. 'Gift as a hamper' should be 'give them as a hamper'. 'Becauses' is misspelled 'because'. 'Affect' should be 'affects' to agree with singular subject 'too much chocolate'. Correct prepositions, verb forms, and spelling are necessary.

× But uh some small packets of chocolates are very helpful and create strong but bond between each other.

✓ But some small packets of chocolates are very helpful and create a strong bond between each other.

The phrase 'create strong but bond' is incorrect; it should be 'create a strong bond'. Also, 'between each other' is acceptable but 'with each other' is more common. Correct article usage and phrase structure improve clarity.