Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中表达了不喜欢巧克力的原因，但语言表达不够自然，有语法错误（如“negative effects on my house”应为“negative effects on my health”），且句子较长且有些冗余。建议简化句子结构，使用更准确的词汇，并避免重复。

例: I don't like eating chocolate because it is too sweet and high in fat. Also, eating too much chocolate can harm my health. Besides, chocolate is often expensive, so I prefer to avoid it.

提案: 回答中有语法错误和表达不清（如“it mind”不明确），且句子结构混乱。建议使用完整句子，避免重复，并清晰表达观点。

例: I eat chocolate maybe once a year, usually during the Spring Festival. I find it too sweet and worry it might make me gain weight, so I rarely eat it.

提案: 回答中有语法错误（如“when our kid”应为“when I was a kid”），表达不够流畅。建议注意时态和句子结构，使用更自然的表达。

例: Not really. I didn't eat chocolate often when I was a kid because my family wanted to protect my teeth and keep me healthy by limiting sweets.

提案: 回答中存在语法错误（如“they is”应为“it is”），表达不够清晰且有重复。建议使用正确的主谓一致，简洁表达观点，并使用连接词使句子更连贯。

例: I think chocolate is popular because it tastes delicious and sweet, which makes people feel happy and relaxed. Also, chocolates often come in cute shapes that attract young people.

提案: 回答表达不清且有语法错误，句子不连贯。建议直接回答问题，避免重复和不必要的犹豫，使用完整句子。

例: Actually, I don't like chocolate very much, so I am not familiar with many flavors. But if I have to choose, I would say strawberry flavor because I like strawberries.

提案: 回答中有语法错误（如“like chocolate very much”应为“likes chocolate very much”），表达不够流畅。建议注意主谓一致，简洁表达观点，并使用连接词使句子更连贯。

例: I think it depends on the person. If someone likes chocolate, giving it as a gift would make them very happy. But if they don't like chocolate, like me, it's better not to give it to them.

× Well, I don't like any chocolate because it's too sweet and contains too much fat.

✓ Well, I don't like chocolate because it's too sweet and contains too much fat.

这里的“any chocolate”用法不当，chocolate作为不可数名词，不需要any，直接用chocolate即可。

× I also think it has negative effects on my house if I eat too much, so besides, chocolate is often quite expensive so I prefer to avoid it.

✓ I also think it has negative effects on my health if I eat too much. Besides, chocolate is often quite expensive, so I prefer to avoid it.

句子中“so besides”连接词使用错误，应分开成两个句子，分别用Besides和so连接，且“my house”应为“my health”。

× Maybe once a year. Yeah. I only eat chocolate when there is spring festival because it's too sweet for me.

✓ Maybe once a year. Yeah. I only eat chocolate during the Spring Festival because it's too sweet for me.

“when there is spring festival”表达不自然，应改为“during the Spring Festival”，表示在春节期间。

× I don't really don't like it and it mind. Like make me fat.

✓ I really don't like it and it bothers me. It makes me fat.

句子中重复使用“don't”，且“it mind”用法错误，应为“it bothers me”，且“Like make me fat”应为“It makes me fat”。

× Not really. I didn't often eat chocolate when our kid, maybe because my family always kept me away from those sweet candy to protect my tooth and help me stay healthy.

✓ Not really. I didn't often eat chocolate when I was a kid, maybe because my family always kept me away from sweet candy to protect my teeth and help me stay healthy.

“when our kid”应为“when I was a kid”，且“those sweet candy”应为“sweet candy”，“tooth”应为复数“teeth”。

× Well, I think the first reason is they is delicious.

✓ Well, I think the first reason is that it is delicious.

“they is”主谓不一致，应改为“it is”，指代巧克力。

× They are sweet and always eating sweet's candy make people feel happy and relaxed and they're also like in cute shapes which attracts like young people.

✓ They are sweet, and eating sweet candy always makes people feel happy and relaxed. They're also often in cute shapes which attract young people.

“sweet's candy”错误，应为“sweet candy”；“eating sweet candy make”主谓不一致，应为“makes”；“attracts like young people”中“like”多余，应去掉。

× Well, I have to say, I don't like getting chocolate at all. So how? I don't know flavors of those chocolate make, but but if I have to choose one, maybe like strawberry.

✓ Well, I have to say, I don't like getting chocolate at all. So, I don't know what flavors those chocolates have, but if I have to choose one, maybe strawberry.

“So how?”不合适，应去掉或改为“So,”；“flavors of those chocolate make”语序错误，应为“what flavors those chocolates have”；“maybe like strawberry”中“like”多余。

× Well, I think it depends on the person. If that person like chocolate very much, of course you can send them chocolate as a gift the most very happy for that and enjoy the chocolate.

✓ Well, I think it depends on the person. If that person likes chocolate very much, of course you can send them chocolate as a gift. They will be very happy and enjoy the chocolate.

“If that person like”主谓不一致，应为“likes”；“the most very happy for that”表达不自然，应改为“They will be very happy”。

× But if that person don't like chocolate like me, you'd better not sending them any chocolate.

✓ But if that person doesn't like chocolate like me, you'd better not send them any chocolate.

“don't like”主谓不一致，应为“doesn't like”；“you'd better not sending”语法错误，应为“you'd better not send”。