Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by avoiding repetition and unclear phrases. Use simple and correct sentences to express your feelings and reasons. For example, say "I love eating chocolate because it makes me happy and helps me relax when I'm stressed from homework or playing piano."

例: I love eating chocolate because it makes me happy and helps me relax when I'm stressed from homework or playing piano.

提案: Focus on making your sentences complete and coherent. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid contradictions. For example, "I often eat chocolate during my leisure time or when I need to reduce stress because it helps me enjoy myself."

例: I often eat chocolate during my leisure time or when I need to reduce stress because it helps me enjoy myself.

提案: Your answer is clear but can be improved by using better linking words and more natural expressions. For example, "Not really, because my mom set a limit on how much chocolate I could eat. She said eating too much chocolate could make me sick and harm my health."

例: Not really, because my mom set a limit on how much chocolate I could eat. She said eating too much chocolate could make me sick and harm my health.

提案: Try to organize your ideas clearly and use linking words. Avoid filler words like "Ann". For example, "Chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes good; it can be bitter or sweet, so many people enjoy it. Also, it helps reduce stress from work or school."

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes good; it can be bitter or sweet, so many people enjoy it. Also, it helps reduce stress from work or school.

提案: Make your sentences smoother and more natural. For example, "My favourite chocolate is Kit Kat because it has crunchy biscuit inside. I especially enjoy eating it during my leisure time."

例: My favourite chocolate is Kit Kat because it has crunchy biscuit inside. I especially enjoy eating it during my leisure time.

提案: Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid incomplete sentences. For example, "Yes, chocolate is a good gift because many people love it worldwide. However, it may not be suitable for people with health issues like obesity."

例: Yes, chocolate is a good gift because many people love it worldwide. However, it may not be suitable for people with health issues like obesity.

× Charles chocolate by eating chocolate, it can make me become more happiness and make me reduce my stress from homework or from some learning like.

✓ Eating chocolate can make me happier and help reduce my stress from homework or other learning activities.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'Charles chocolate by eating chocolate' which is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Also, 'make me become more happiness' should be 'make me happier' because 'happiness' is a noun and the adjective 'happier' is needed here. The phrase 'make me reduce my stress' is better expressed as 'help reduce my stress'. Use of gerund 'Eating' correctly introduces the action.

× Playing piano make me so stressed.

✓ Playing the piano makes me very stressed.

The sentence lacks the definite article 'the' before 'piano' and the verb 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with the singular subject 'Playing the piano'. Also, 'so stressed' is better expressed as 'very stressed' for clarity.

× Actually, it's not. Of frequency I often a chocolate during.

✓ Actually, I often eat chocolate during my leisure time.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Of frequency I often a chocolate during' is not a correct sentence structure. The corrected sentence clearly states the frequency and context of eating chocolate.

× My leisure time or when I. Need to reduce my stress.

✓ My leisure time or when I need to reduce my stress.

The original sentence is broken into two fragments. Combining them into one complete sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I'm stressed so that I eat chocolate.

✓ When I'm stressed, I eat chocolate.

The phrase 'I'm stressed so that I eat chocolate' is awkward. Using 'When I'm stressed' correctly introduces the condition leading to the action.

× Yeah, so it can make me become more stress, become more enjoyments.

✓ Yeah, so it can help me feel less stressed and enjoy myself more.

'More stress' should be 'less stressed' to indicate reduction of stress. 'Become more enjoyments' is incorrect; 'enjoyments' is a noun and cannot be used this way. Using 'enjoy myself more' is appropriate.

× Did you often eat chocolate when you were a kid? Not really because my mom has set a minimum requirements or minimum quantity that I could eat it.

✓ Not really, because my mom set a minimum requirement or minimum quantity that I could eat.

The question is in past tense, so the answer should also be in past tense. 'Has set' is present perfect and should be 'set'. 'Requirements' should be singular 'requirement' to match 'minimum'.

× Minimum requirements or minimum quantity that I could eat it.

✓ Minimum requirement or minimum quantity that I could eat.

'Requirements' should be singular 'requirement' to match 'minimum'. Also, 'eat it' is redundant; 'eat' suffices.

× Because my mom said that if I eat too much of chocolate I will get sick easily.

✓ Because my mom said that if I eat too much chocolate, I will get sick easily.

'Too much of chocolate' should be 'too much chocolate' without 'of'. The modal verb 'will' is correctly used here.

× It's bad for my health too.

✓ It is bad for my health too.

Contraction 'It's' is acceptable in speech; no correction needed here.

× I think that chocolate is popular around the world 'cause firstly, it's tasty, Ann.

✓ I think that chocolate is popular around the world because, firstly, it's tasty.

'Cause' is informal; 'because' is more appropriate. 'Ann' seems to be a mishearing or typo and should be removed.

× It's good it taste, it can be bitter, it can be sweet so that a lot of people love it.

✓ It tastes good; it can be bitter or sweet, so a lot of people love it.

'It's good it taste' is incorrect; 'It tastes good' is correct. Use of semicolon and conjunction improves sentence flow.

× Besides that, chocolate can also reduce our stress from our work or school.

✓ Besides that, chocolate can also reduce our stress from work or school.

'Our work or school' is redundant; 'work or school' suffices.

× My favorite chocolate is. Chocolate. Yeah, its name Kit Kat, and it's with the biscuit, when I eat it, is crunchy and so I love to eat it, especially during my leisure's height.

✓ My favorite chocolate is Kit Kat. It has biscuit inside, and when I eat it, it is crunchy. I especially love to eat it during my leisure time.

Sentence fragments and pronoun misuse corrected. 'Its name Kit Kat' changed to 'is Kit Kat'. 'With the biscuit' clarified to 'has biscuit inside'. 'Leisure's height' is incorrect; 'leisure time' is appropriate.

× I enjoy it very much.

✓ I enjoy it very much.

No grammatical error; sentence is correct.

× Yes, I think it's a good idea. This is because a lot of people love to eat chocolate around the world. As just the previous questions.

✓ Yes, I think it's a good idea because a lot of people love to eat chocolate around the world, as mentioned in the previous question.

'As just the previous questions' is incomplete and unclear. Corrected to 'as mentioned in the previous question' for clarity.

× However, it might be not suitable for someone with hash which has the. Obesity.

✓ However, it might not be suitable for someone with health issues such as obesity.

'Hash which has the. Obesity' is unclear and incorrect. Corrected to 'health issues such as obesity' for clarity.

× It may be unhealthy for them.

✓ It may be unhealthy for them.

Sentence is correct; no correction needed.