Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ должен быть более связным и грамматически правильным. Следует избегать фрагментированных предложений и использовать связующие слова для плавного перехода между идеями.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because my parents work in a chocolate factory. Besides, we have a tradition of making chocolate every month, which makes it even more special for me.

提案: Ответ хороший, но можно добавить связующее слово для улучшения связности и немного расширить ответ, чтобы он был более информативным.

例: I usually eat chocolate every week, and sometimes I make it by myself at home, which is quite enjoyable.

提案: Ответ неясен и содержит грамматические ошибки. Нужно четко ответить на вопрос, используя правильные времена и связные предложения.

例: When I was a kid, I could eat chocolate after 8:00 in the evening. However, my parents worried about my health, so they stopped buying chocolate every day.

提案: Ответ непонятен и содержит много ошибок. Следует использовать простые и понятные предложения, объясняя причины популярности шоколада с конкретными деталями.

例: In my opinion, chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes delicious and comes in many varieties. For example, some people prefer milk chocolate, while others like dark or white chocolate.

提案: Ответ содержит грамматические ошибки и нечеткие формулировки. Следует использовать связные предложения и конкретные примеры, чтобы объяснить предпочтения.

例: My favorite flavor of chocolate is milk chocolate because it is versatile. For example, it can be used to make cakes, cupcakes, and pancakes. Also, milk chocolate is very common and easy to find.

提案: Ответ должен быть более связным и грамматически правильным. Следует использовать связующие слова для логического построения мысли.

例: In my opinion, chocolate makes a good gift because many people enjoy it. However, since some people don't like chocolate, it's polite to ask them before giving it as a present.

× Yes, I like eating chocolate 'cause my parents working in the chocolate fabric.

✓ Yes, I like eating chocolate because my parents work in the chocolate factory.

The verb 'working' should be in the simple present tense 'work' to agree with the subject 'my parents' and to correctly express a habitual action. Also, 'fabric' is incorrect; the correct word is 'factory'.

× Beside it.

✓ Besides that.

The phrase 'Beside it' is incorrect here. The correct phrase is 'Besides that' to mean 'in addition to that'. 'Beside' means 'next to', which is not appropriate in this context.

× We have tradition to make a chocolate every month.

✓ We have a tradition to make chocolate every month.

The word 'tradition' is singular and requires the article 'a'. Also, 'a chocolate' is incorrect when referring to chocolate in general; it should be just 'chocolate'.

× When I work 8:00 I could eat chocolate.

✓ When I worked at 8:00, I could eat chocolate.

The sentence refers to a past habit, so the verb should be in the past tense 'worked'. Also, 'at 8:00' is the correct prepositional phrase for time.

× Every day my parents about my house so they stopped buying chocolate.

✓ Every day my parents were at my house, so they stopped buying chocolate.

The preposition 'about' is incorrect here; 'at' is appropriate to indicate location. Also, the past continuous 'were at' fits better to describe a repeated past action.

× In my opinion, chocolate is popular around the world becauses very tested chocolate has a lot of flowers, so it makes it really there's a for a lot of people.

✓ In my opinion, chocolate is popular around the world because it tastes very good and has a lot of flavors, so it appeals to many people.

The word 'becauses' is incorrect; it should be 'because'. The phrase 'very tested chocolate has a lot of flowers' is incorrect and unclear; it should be 'it tastes very good and has a lot of flavors'. The sentence structure is corrected for clarity.

× Because some people don't like white chocolate so they can eat milk chocolate.

✓ Because some people don't like white chocolate, they can eat milk chocolate instead.

Starting a sentence with 'Because' followed by 'so' is redundant. The sentence is corrected to remove redundancy and improve clarity.

× And indicate.

✓ (Sentence removed due to lack of clarity and context.)

The phrase 'And indicate.' is incomplete and does not form a proper sentence. It should be removed or clarified.

× Because you can make with milk chocolate and I think that he want, for example, cakes.

✓ Because you can make cakes with milk chocolate, and I think that people want, for example, cakes.

The phrase 'make with milk chocolate' is incomplete; it should be 'make cakes with milk chocolate'. The pronoun 'he' is unclear and replaced with 'people' for general meaning.

× Cupcakes and also pancakes beside it.

✓ Cupcakes and also pancakes besides that.

The phrase 'beside it' is incorrect; 'besides that' is the correct phrase to add information.

× Milk chocolate is a typical flavor of chocolate and you can find it anywhere.

✓ Milk chocolate is a typical flavor of chocolate, and you can find it anywhere.

A comma is added before 'and' to correctly join two independent clauses.

× In my opinion, is chocolate made good? So it can be as a gift to others.

✓ In my opinion, chocolate is good, so it can be given as a gift to others.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. It is corrected to a proper sentence structure expressing opinion and possibility.

× On other hand, some people don't like chocolate, so we should ask them before we can give it to them.

✓ On the other hand, some people don't like chocolate, so we should ask them before giving it to them.

The phrase 'On other hand' should be 'On the other hand'. Also, 'before we can give it to them' is better expressed as 'before giving it to them' for smoother flow.