Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is quite unclear and fragmented. Try to give a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, followed by specific reasons. Avoid incomplete sentences and irrelevant details. For example, say why you like chocolate and mention a specific reason or memory.

例: Yes, I really enjoy eating chocolate because it has a rich, sweet taste that I find comforting. Since I was a child, chocolate has been my favourite treat, especially after school. It always cheers me up and gives me a little energy boost.

提案: Your answer is quite long and a bit confusing. Try to answer directly about your current chocolate eating habits first, then briefly explain why. Use linking words to make your answer clearer and more logical.

例: I don't eat chocolate very often these days because when I was a child, I ate it regularly and developed health issues like diabetes. Therefore, my doctor advised me to avoid sweets to stay healthy.

提案: Your answer repeats previous information and has some grammar mistakes. Try to give a clear topic sentence and add specific details about your childhood chocolate habits, using linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I used to eat chocolate every day when I was a kid because I really liked the taste. At that time, I didn't know it could have negative effects on my health, so I often bought chocolates from local shops.

提案: Your answer is unclear and has some grammar errors. Try to give a clear reason why chocolate is popular, and support it with specific details. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I believe chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes delicious and many people, especially children, enjoy it. Additionally, chocolate provides a quick source of energy, which makes it appealing to many.

提案: Your answer has good content but some grammar mistakes and repetition. Try to make your sentences clearer and more concise, and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: My favourite flavour is dark chocolate because it contains less sugar than other types. I often eat it when I feel tired since it gives me a quick energy boost.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many incomplete sentences. Try to give a clear opinion and explain why chocolate makes a good gift, using specific reasons and linking words to organise your answer.

例: Yes, I think chocolate is a great gift because it shows appreciation and is enjoyed by many people. Giving chocolate can express respect and gratitude in a thoughtful way.

× Chocolates are. My favorite sweets as it our way. Sweden based and provides refreshment to a child. And. It is my. Most preferable suites since my childhood.

✓ Chocolates are my favourite sweets as they are part of our Swedish culture and provide refreshment to children. They have been my most preferred sweets since my childhood.

The original sentences are fragmented and lack proper structure, making them unclear. Combining related ideas into complete sentences improves clarity and coherence.

× When I was a child that I used to eat chocolate on regular basis which can cause to me diabetes and which was very serious health disorder and my doctor suggested me to do not eat any sweet thing which can lead to affect my health.

✓ When I was a child, I used to eat chocolate regularly, which could have caused me diabetes, a very serious health disorder. My doctor advised me not to eat any sweets that could affect my health.

The original sentence misuses tenses and modal verbs. 'Can cause' should be 'could have caused' to reflect past possibility. Also, 'suggested me to do not eat' is incorrect; the correct form is 'advised me not to eat'.

× So I avoid eating chocolate nowadays.

✓ So I avoid eating chocolate nowadays.

This sentence is correct in present tense and needs no correction.

× Yes, as I have mentioned earlier. I was fond of eating chocolate and I went for. Eating chocolate daily on the shops there I bought a lot of chocolates as during that time I was not aware of it's a side effects and counter sites.

✓ Yes, as I mentioned earlier, I was fond of eating chocolate and used to buy a lot daily from shops. At that time, I was not aware of its side effects and consequences.

The original sentences are fragmented and contain awkward phrasing. Combining ideas into coherent sentences and correcting 'it's' to 'its' improves clarity and grammar.

× I was not aware of it's a side effects and counter sites.

✓ I was not aware of its side effects and consequences.

'It's' is a contraction for 'it is' or 'it has', but the possessive pronoun 'its' is needed here. Also, 'counter sites' is incorrect; 'consequences' or 'effects' is appropriate.

× I think your place are quite popular around the world as they are very good in taste and their delicious taste very preferable among the children.

✓ I think chocolates are quite popular around the world because they taste very good and their delicious flavour is preferred by children.

The original sentence has unclear subject 'your place' and awkward phrasing. Clarifying the subject and restructuring the sentence improves meaning and grammar.

× It is also a good energy of source. Which provides a lot of energy and. Got it.

✓ They are also a good source of energy, providing a lot of energy.

The original sentences are fragmented and unclear. Combining them into a complete sentence improves clarity.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate have it is less contained sugar and.

✓ My favourite flavour of chocolate is dark chocolate because it contains less sugar.

The original sentence misuses quantifiers and verb forms. 'Have it is less contained sugar' is incorrect; the correct form is 'because it contains less sugar'.

× There is a lesser sugar content and it provides our rapid energy.

✓ It has a lower sugar content and provides us with quick energy.

'Lesser' is used incorrectly; 'lower' is appropriate for measurable quantities. Also, 'our rapid energy' is unclear; 'provides us with quick energy' is better.

× During the time I feel more weak or tired, I used to eat dark chocolates.

✓ When I felt weak or tired, I used to eat dark chocolate.

The sentence mixes present tense 'feel' with past habitual 'used to'. Consistent past tense 'felt' is correct here.

× Yes, sure it can be a good idea of. Use using chocolate as a gift for others and it is a.

✓ Yes, sure, it can be a good idea to use chocolate as a gift for others.

The original sentence has awkward phrasing and incorrect modal verb usage. 'Use using' is incorrect; 'to use' is correct.

× Giving gift it to other cells are showing some respect and gratitude to our so someone and chocolate sauce waiting tester.

✓ Giving gifts to others shows respect and gratitude, and chocolate is a tasty option.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains nonsensical phrases like 'cells' and 'waiting tester'. Rewriting for clarity and correctness is necessary.

× Which is going to be better option 2 as a gift for someone.

✓ It is a better option as a gift for someone.

The original sentence is incomplete and awkward. Rephrasing into a complete sentence improves clarity.