Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid starting with 'So why not?' which sounds unnatural here. Also, try to complete your sentences fully and avoid trailing off. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I really enjoy eating chocolate, especially when I feel sad or low on energy. For example, if I skip breakfast, eating chocolate gives me a quick energy boost that helps me continue working.

提案: Your answer is good but could be more structured and natural. Avoid using the examiner's name. Also, try to use linking words to connect your ideas and be more specific about frequency.

例: I usually eat chocolate after meals as a dessert. However, I also enjoy it anytime I have some in my bag because it's my comfort food.

提案: Your answer has good content but needs clearer sentence structure and grammar. Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to explain reasons and add details coherently.

例: No, I didn't eat chocolate often as a kid because it was expensive and my mom couldn't always afford it. However, whenever she had extra money, she would buy some chocolates from the local store.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains hesitations and repetitions. Try to speak more confidently and clearly. Use linking words to explain your opinion logically and avoid filler words.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it is a common comfort food. When I was a kid, many of my friends preferred buying chocolate over other snacks.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more fluent and concise. Avoid repeating phrases and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: My favorite chocolate flavor is almond chocolate because the combination of crunchy almonds and smooth chocolate is very satisfying and comforting.

提案: Your answer has a good point but ends abruptly. Try to complete your thoughts fully and use linking words to make your answer coherent. Avoid filler words like 'UM'.

例: I think it depends. While many people enjoy receiving chocolate as a gift, some have allergies or health conditions that prevent them from eating it. Therefore, it's best to know the person's preferences before giving chocolate as a gift.

× I really enjoy eating chocolates specially when I feel sad or low in energy.

✓ I really enjoy eating chocolate especially when I feel sad or low in energy.

The word 'chocolate' is generally uncountable when referring to the food in general, so the plural 'chocolates' is incorrect here. Also, 'especially' is the correct adverb instead of 'specially'.

× chocolates will give me an automatic energy.

✓ chocolate will give me automatic energy.

The modal verb 'will' is acceptable here to indicate a general truth or habitual action, but 'an automatic energy' is incorrect because 'energy' is uncountable and does not need an article. Also, 'chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate' as uncountable noun.

× And it helps me continue with my work and.

✓ And it helps me continue with my work.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and' which is incomplete and causes a sentence structure error. Removing the trailing 'and' completes the sentence properly.

× I love eating chocolates during after meals.

✓ I love eating chocolate after meals.

'Chocolate' is uncountable when referring to the food in general, so 'chocolates' is incorrect here. Also, 'during after meals' is redundant; 'after meals' is sufficient.

× It serves like my desserts.

✓ It serves as my dessert.

The phrase 'serves like' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'serves as'. Also, 'desserts' should be singular 'dessert' to match the singular subject.

× But again, I eat chocolates anytime, whenever I have one in my bag because it's my comfort food.

✓ But again, I eat chocolate anytime, whenever I have some in my bag because it's my comfort food.

'Chocolate' is uncountable, so 'chocolates' is incorrect. Also, 'one' is inappropriate for uncountable noun; 'some' is better to refer to an unspecified amount.

× No, because during the time, I mean during my childhood, chocolates are expensive in my mom cannot afford to.

✓ No, because during that time, I mean during my childhood, chocolate was expensive and my mom could not afford to buy it.

'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as uncountable noun. The verb tense should be past 'was' to match 'during my childhood'. Also, 'in my mom cannot afford to' is incorrect; it should be 'and my mom could not afford to buy it'.

× But whenever she has an extra money, I buy, I buy.

✓ But whenever she had extra money, I bought some.

The sentence refers to past events, so present tense 'has' and 'buy' are incorrect; they should be past tense 'had' and 'bought'. Also, 'an extra money' is incorrect; 'extra money' is uncountable and does not need 'an'.

× I buy, I buy. Some chocolates from the local stores in my home.

✓ I bought some chocolate from the local stores near my home.

'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as uncountable noun. Also, 'in my home' is better expressed as 'near my home' or 'in my hometown' depending on meaning.

× I guess maybe it's because it's one of the comfort comfort foods of most people.

✓ I guess maybe it's because it's one of the comfort foods for most people.

The phrase 'comfort comfort foods' is repetitive; one 'comfort' is enough. Also, 'of most people' is better expressed as 'for most people'.

× I remember being a kid, most of my playmates, they choose buying.

✓ I remember when I was a kid, most of my playmates chose to buy

The phrase 'most of my playmates, they choose buying' is incorrect. 'They' is redundant after 'most of my playmates'. Also, 'choose buying' is incorrect; it should be 'chose to buy' in past tense.

× Uhm, chocolates instead of others decks? Big.

✓ chocolate instead of other snacks.

The phrase 'others decks? Big.' is unclear and incorrect. It likely intends to say 'other snacks' or 'other treats'. Also, 'chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as uncountable noun.

× I love chocolates with almonds.

✓ I love chocolate with almonds.

'Chocolate' is uncountable when referring to the food in general, so 'chocolates' is incorrect here.

× I enjoy eating chocolates. With almonds, because of its crunchy and smooth flavor that.

✓ I enjoy eating chocolate with almonds because of its crunchy and smooth flavor.

The sentence is fragmented and incorrectly uses 'chocolates' instead of 'chocolate'. Also, 'its' correctly refers to 'chocolate' which is singular.

× That is so satisfying and comforting.

✓ It is so satisfying and comforting.

The pronoun 'That' is less appropriate here; 'It' refers better to the flavor described. Also, combining with previous sentence improves flow.

× I would say it depends because some people do enjoy eating chocolates.

✓ I would say it depends because some people do enjoy eating chocolate.

'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as uncountable noun. The modal verb usage 'would say' is correct here.

× UM on the other hand, some people have allergies or medical conditions that may affect their health.

✓ On the other hand, some people have allergies or medical conditions that may affect their health.

The filler 'UM' is unnecessary and should be removed for clarity.

× So I think it would be best if before you give the chocolates to someone better.

✓ So I think it would be best to check before you give chocolates to someone.

The original sentence is incomplete and awkward. The corrected sentence clarifies the intended meaning and corrects sentence structure.