Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is unclear and lacks coherence. Try to respond directly to the question with a clear topic sentence, and support it with simple, relevant reasons. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases.

例: I don't like eating chocolate very much because I prefer savory foods. For example, I enjoy snacks like chips and nuts more than sweets. Also, I find chocolate too sweet for my taste.

提案: Your answer has some good ideas but is repetitive and lacks clear structure. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid repeating the same words. Keep your sentences concise and relevant.

例: I eat chocolate occasionally, especially when I feel a bit low or tired. I believe chocolate can improve my mood, so I usually choose dark chocolate because I like its rich taste.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some repetition and unclear phrases. Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, using linking words to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I used to eat a lot of chocolate as a child. Because of that, I developed cavities and had to visit the dentist frequently. After those experiences, I started to avoid eating too much chocolate.

提案: Your answer has good points but is repetitive and lacks clear linking. Use linking words to connect your ideas and express them clearly and concisely.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes wonderful and can improve people's mood. Moreover, many people prefer it over savory foods because it provides a quick energy boost.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be improved by combining sentences and using linking words to make it more fluent and natural.

例: My favourite flavour is dark chocolate because I enjoy its slightly bitter taste. Although some people find it bitter, I find it refreshing and it helps to uplift my mood.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some repetition and awkward phrasing. Try to use linking words and avoid repeating the same ideas to make your answer more natural and effective.

例: I think giving chocolates as gifts is a great idea because most people like them. Also, chocolates are convenient and budget-friendly presents, especially when you are unsure what to buy.

× I'm more and more awful.

✓ I'm feeling worse and worse.

The original sentence uses 'awful' incorrectly to express a feeling. The correct expression is 'feeling worse and worse' to indicate a decline in feeling or condition.

× I'm more of I my liking to Woodstock late is not that much.

✓ I don't like Woodstock late that much.

The original sentence is confusing and uses incorrect pronouns and structure. The corrected sentence clearly states the preference using proper pronouns and verb forms.

× I'm more of a savory person.

✓ I'm more of a savory person.

This sentence is correct and needs no correction.

× I really don't like chocolates that much becauses I don't know.

✓ I really don't like chocolates that much because I don't know why.

The original sentence has a spelling error 'becauses' and lacks clarity. Adding 'why' completes the thought and corrects the spelling.

× It's not.

✓ It's not that I like chocolates.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. The correction completes the thought to make it meaningful.

× I've never thought of that by around like chocolates, but it's just like I am more office every person.

✓ I've never thought much about chocolates, but I'm more of a savory person.

The original sentence is confusing with incorrect pronouns and words. The correction clarifies the meaning and uses proper pronouns and vocabulary.

× Everything.

✓ Every day.

The answer 'Everything' is incorrect in response to 'How often do you eat chocolate?'. The correct quantifier is 'Every day' to indicate frequency.

× I've read somewhere that chocolate can boost your mind.

✓ I've read somewhere that chocolate can boost your brain function.

The phrase 'boost your mind' is awkward. 'Boost your brain function' is more appropriate and clear.

× So whenever I'm feeling little, low, little, depressed or not in a mood to do anything, I try to uplift my mind by eating chocolates.

✓ So whenever I'm feeling a little low, depressed, or not in the mood to do anything, I try to uplift my mood by eating chocolates.

The original sentence has redundant and incorrect use of 'little' and 'mind'. The correction uses proper expressions and pronouns.

× I think by eating chocolates.

✓ I think eating chocolates helps.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. The correction completes the thought properly.

× And I think I really like dark chocolate, Dark chocolates, eating dark chocolates, upliftment.

✓ I really like dark chocolate; eating it uplifts my mood.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. The correction combines the ideas into a clear, grammatically correct sentence.

× Yes, When I was a kid, I used to eat a lot of chocolates.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid, I used to eat a lot of chocolates.

Capitalization error in 'When' corrected to 'when' as it is mid-sentence.

× My mother was literally, my mother was very pretty fed up, fed up from me.

✓ My mother was literally very fed up with me.

The original sentence is repetitive and uses 'pretty' incorrectly. The correction removes redundancy and uses the correct preposition 'with'.

× I was eating a lot of chocolates Do to that, I have a lot of cavities in my mouth, so I had to go to a dentist.

✓ I was eating a lot of chocolates. Due to that, I had a lot of cavities in my mouth, so I had to go to the dentist.

'Do to' is a misspelling of 'Due to'. Also, 'have' should be 'had' to match past tense. 'A dentist' changed to 'the dentist' as it refers to a specific person.

× So so I had so I my mother used to take me to a dentist.

✓ So my mother used to take me to the dentist.

The original sentence has repetition and incorrect article usage. The correction removes redundancy and uses the correct article.

× After that, I really avoided it.

✓ After that, I really avoided it.

This sentence is correct and needs no correction.

× I've seen many people like chocolate over savory over savory foods.

✓ I've seen many people like chocolate over savory foods.

The phrase 'over savory over savory foods' is repetitive. The correction removes redundancy.

× I think it's more, I think it's more popular in the world 'cause it uplifts your mood.

✓ I think it's more popular in the world because it uplifts your mood.

The repetition 'I think it's more' is unnecessary. 'Cause' is informal; 'because' is more appropriate.

× So it's a little uplift some wood. Helps you.

✓ So it uplifts your mood and helps you.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains errors like 'uplift some wood'. The correction clarifies the meaning.

× Oh, it it freshens your mind.

✓ It freshens your mind.

The repeated 'it' is an error. The correction removes the repetition.

× It gives you it gives you a wonderful taste.

✓ It gives you a wonderful taste.

The phrase 'it gives you' is repeated unnecessarily. The correction removes the repetition.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate.

This sentence is correct and needs no correction.

× I really prefer dark chocolate over white one.

✓ I really prefer dark chocolate over white chocolate.

The phrase 'white one' is vague. The correction specifies 'white chocolate' for clarity.

× Do some people find it little bitter in taste but I really enjoy.

✓ Some people find it a little bitter in taste, but I really enjoy it.

The original sentence has 'Do some people' which is incorrect here, missing article 'a' before 'little', and missing object 'it' after 'enjoy'.

× But I really enjoy its bitterness an it really uplifts my mood.

✓ I really enjoy its bitterness, and it really uplifts my mood.

The original sentence has a typo 'an' instead of 'and'. The correction fixes the typo and adds a comma for clarity.

× Nowadays chocolates are used as a token of guests, as a token of gift.

✓ Nowadays, chocolates are used as a token of guests, as a token of gift.

The sentence is awkward and contains errors in phrase usage. The correction adds a comma after 'Nowadays' but the phrase 'token of guests' and 'token of gift' are incorrect idioms; however, as per instruction, only grammar mistakes are corrected.

× I think that it is, I think that it is a great idea to get someone chocolate 'cause everybody likes.

✓ I think that it is a great idea to give someone chocolate because everybody likes it.

The original sentence is repetitive and missing object 'it' after 'likes'. 'Get' changed to 'give' to fit context.

× It is very easy to decide if if you are indecisive because everybody likes chocolates and everybody loves to eat them.

✓ It is very easy to decide if you are indecisive because everybody likes chocolates and loves to eat them.

The repetition of 'if' is an error. The correction removes the duplicate.

× Plus it is very convenient, it is budget friendly and it is very convenient to gift someone.

✓ Plus, it is very convenient, budget-friendly, and easy to gift to someone.

The original sentence repeats 'it is very convenient' twice. The correction removes redundancy and improves phrasing.