Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. Also correct pronouns and verb forms (e.g., “I understand it” not “I understand them”).

例: I’m reasonably good at memorising, but it depends on the subject. For example, I remember history well because I find it interesting and I understand the events and dates, so they stick in my mind. However, I struggle with maths formulas when I don’t fully grasp the concepts, so I tend to forget them quickly.

提案: Tell the story clearly and in chronological order, correct tense and subject-verb agreement, and avoid repetition. Use linking words (e.g., “then”, “because”, “so”) and give the main point and a short consequence or feeling.

例: Yes. Once I went out with a friend and forgot my house keys. Later I found out my father was on a business trip and my mother was out for dinner, so nobody was home. As a result I couldn’t get in and felt very embarrassed and frustrated.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence then specific, organized examples. Use linking words (first, also, for example) but avoid fillers. Be precise (e.g., ‘timetables’, ‘assignments’, ‘study notes’).

例: As a college student I must remember my class schedule and deadlines. I also need to remember daily items like appropriate clothes and devices such as my laptop or notebooks. During exam periods I make an effort to review and remember key course material and assignment dates.

提案: Start with a clear statement about your strategy, then give a brief explanation with an example. Avoid redundant phrases and fix grammar (e.g., “I put important events in my phone calendar” rather than “put important things just in the calendar”).

例: I usually use my smartphone to remember important things. For instance, I add events and deadlines to my phone calendar and set reminders, so I get a notification before each task and rarely forget appointments.

× OK, I think that depends on different situations.

✓ OK, I think that depends on the situation.

Use present simple correctly for general truth. 'Depends on different situations' is awkward; 'depends on the situation' is more natural and uses correct singular/plural agreement with the uncountable concept 'situation' in context.

× For example, if I could understand the knowledge, then I could remember it in a fast way.

✓ For example, if I understand the material, then I can remember it quickly.

Conditional sentence about general ability should use present simple in the if-clause and 'can' in the main clause. Replace 'could' with 'can', 'knowledge' with 'material' or 'what I learn', and use adverb 'quickly' not 'in a fast way.'

× For example, the history knowledge, because I'm into it and I understand them very quickly.

✓ For example, history, because I'm into it and I understand it very quickly.

Use correct pronoun agreement: 'history' is singular/uncountable, so use 'it' not 'them.' Also 'the history knowledge' is unnatural; simply 'history' or 'history topics.'

× So, uh, the result is I can remember the those things in a fast way, but for math, I don't under those formulas, so I couldn't remember them, you know, quickly.

✓ So, the result is I can remember those things quickly, but for math, I don't understand those formulas, so I can't remember them quickly.

Mixes tenses and has errors: use present simple ('I can remember', 'I don't understand') for habitual ability. Remove extra article 'the' before 'those things.' Use adverb 'quickly' and consistent modal 'can' rather than 'could' when speaking about present ability.

× Yes, of course, one day I hang out with my friend to have fun, but I forgot to bring keys with me.

✓ Yes, of course. One day I was hanging out with my friend to have fun, but I forgot to bring my keys.

Narration of past events requires past continuous or simple past: 'was hanging out' or 'hung out.' 'Keys with me' is unnatural; use 'my keys.'

× And then that day my dad was on a business trip, so he's not at home and my mom have dinner with her colleagues, so he is not home either.

✓ And that day my dad was on a business trip, so he wasn't at home, and my mom was having dinner with her colleagues, so she wasn't home either.

Maintain past tense and correct subject-verb agreement: 'he wasn't' not 'he's not' for past. 'My mom have' is incorrect; use 'my mom was having' or 'my mom had' and match pronouns ('she' not 'he').

× But at the time I need to go back home, I can't enter the the war.

✓ But when I needed to go back home, I couldn't enter the house.

Sentence mixes tenses and has word choice errors: use past tense 'needed' and 'couldn't.' 'the war' is wrong word; likely 'the door' or 'the house' — 'enter the house' fits context. Also remove duplicate 'the the.'

× So that was that was really embarrassed.

✓ So that was really embarrassing.

Use correct adjective form: 'embarrassed' describes a person; 'embarrassing' describes a situation. Also avoid repetition 'that was that was.'

× As a college student, first thing I need to remember is my daily courses, then, uh, my daily routines.

✓ As a college student, the first thing I need to remember is my daily courses, and then my daily routines.

Include definite article 'the' before 'first thing' and improve sentence flow with conjunction 'and then.' Maintain noun plurality appropriately.

× For example, what kind of clothes I need to wear or what kind of, uh, devices I need to bring like my iPad or notebooks.

✓ For example, what kind of clothes I need to wear or which devices I need to bring, like my iPad or notebooks.

Use 'which' for specific choices and include commas for clarity. 'What kind of devices I need to bring' is understandable but 'which devices' is more natural in this context.

× And for final weeks, of course I need to remember my knowledge.

✓ And during finals week, of course I need to remember what I've learned.

Use correct time expression 'during finals week' and more natural phrasing 'what I've learned.' Present perfect 'I've learned' connects past learning to current need.

× Thanks to the development of technology so that I can put important things just in the calendar, in the cell phone, so that will remind me what, what time, what kind of things I need to do so I won't forget.

✓ Thanks to the development of technology, I can put important things in my calendar on my cell phone, which will remind me what to do, when, and what kinds of things I need to do so I won't forget.

Remove redundant 'so that' and use relative clause 'which will remind me.' Use 'in my calendar on my cell phone' and infinitive 'what to do' for natural phrasing. Clarify 'what time' to 'when.'

× That's quite easy.

✓ That's quite easy.

This sentence is grammatically correct; keep as is. 'Quite' is appropriately placed before the adjective 'easy.'