Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Jawaban Anda agak bertele-tele dan ada pengulangan kata yang tidak perlu. Cobalah untuk membuat kalimat yang lebih singkat dan langsung ke inti, serta hindari pengulangan kata. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih alami dan efektif dengan struktur yang jelas.

例: I am moderately good at memorising things. It depends on the subject; for example, I find it hard to remember biology, but I can easily memorise topics related to history, sociology, and geography because I enjoy social sciences.

提案: Jawaban Anda terlalu panjang dan ada beberapa kesalahan tata bahasa serta penggunaan kata yang kurang tepat. Cobalah untuk membuat kalimat yang lebih singkat, gunakan tata bahasa yang benar, dan hindari penggunaan kata informal seperti 'sucks' dalam konteks formal.

例: Yes, I have forgotten important things before. For instance, once I came back to my room and realized I had left the lamp on. It made me worried about the electricity bill I would have to pay.

提案: Jawaban Anda kurang terstruktur dan ada beberapa kesalahan tata bahasa serta pengulangan kata. Cobalah untuk membuat kalimat yang lebih jelas dan terorganisir dengan baik, serta gunakan kosakata yang tepat dan hindari pengulangan yang tidak perlu.

例: In my daily life, I need to remember to be confident and appreciate myself more. Recently, I have been underestimating myself and neglecting my faith, which I think is important to maintain.

提案: Jawaban Anda kurang jelas dan ada beberapa kesalahan tata bahasa serta pengulangan kata. Cobalah untuk menjelaskan dengan lebih terstruktur dan gunakan kalimat yang lebih alami dan efektif, serta hindari pengulangan kata.

例: I remember important things by praying, which gives me strength. For academic subjects, I use various methods like simplifying information into key words to help me memorise effectively.

× It depends on what the topics that I have to remember, remember.

✓ It depends on the topics that I have to remember.

The phrase 'what the topics that I have to remember' is incorrect because 'what' is unnecessary and causes redundancy. The correct phrase is 'the topics that I have to remember' to properly refer to multiple topics.

× Yes, I feel like sometimes I forgot something important, like for example when I just got out from outside and back into my room.

✓ Yes, I feel like sometimes I forget something important, like for example when I just got out from outside and back into my room.

The sentence mixes past tense 'forgot' with present tense 'feel like sometimes'. To express habitual or repeated actions, the present tense 'forget' should be used.

× when I just got out from outside and back into my room.

✓ when I just got out of outside and back into my room.

The correct preposition after 'got out' is 'of', not 'from'. The phrase should be 'got out of outside' or better 'got outside'.

× I just found out that I haven't turned off my lamp, my room.

✓ I just found out that I haven't turned off the lamp in my room.

The phrase 'my lamp, my room' is incorrect. It should be 'the lamp in my room' to specify the lamp's location.

× And wow, that feeling is very very sucks because I just imagine the electricity bill that I have to pay because I just forgot to turn off the lamp.

✓ And wow, that feeling really sucks because I just imagine the electricity bill that I have to pay because I forgot to turn off the lamp.

The phrase 'very very sucks' is incorrect. 'Sucks' is a verb and should be modified by 'really' instead of 'very very'. Also, 'just forgot' is better than 'just forgot' for past tense consistency.

× because I just forgot to turn off the lamp.

✓ because I forgot to turn off the lamp.

The word 'just' is unnecessary here and can be omitted for clarity. The past tense 'forgot' is correct.

× I would say is don't be too insecure and please appreciate yourself more because lately I've always forgot about that.

✓ I would say it is don't be too insecure and please appreciate yourself more because lately I've always forgotten about that.

The phrase 'I've always forgot' is incorrect; the present perfect requires the past participle 'forgotten' instead of 'forgot'.

× And then I just underestimate myself and I'll and I also forgot about God because my faith is really, really fading out.

✓ And then I just underestimate myself and I also forgot about God because my faith is really, really fading out.

The phrase 'and I'll and I also' is redundant and incorrect. Removing 'I'll' corrects the sentence.

× I also forgot about God because my faith is really, really fading out.

✓ I also forget about God because my faith is really, really fading out.

Since the sentence refers to a recent or ongoing state, present tense 'forget' fits better than past tense 'forgot'.

× So I think that is something really serious to ha to care about.

✓ So I think that is something really serious to have to care about.

The phrase 'to ha to care about' is a typo and incorrect. It should be 'to have to care about' to express obligation.

× Maybe with Freya, you know, prayer have a really strong things for my life.

✓ Maybe with prayer, you know, it has a really strong effect on my life.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'Freya' and 'prayer have a really strong things'. 'Prayer' is singular and requires 'has'. Also, 'things' is vague; 'effect' is more appropriate.

× It gives me a lot of strength for me.

✓ It gives me a lot of strength.

The phrase 'strength for me' is redundant; 'gives me strength' is the correct expression.

× But if we're talking about like subjects, I always use a lot of methods and use simple words for it.

✓ But if we're talking about subjects, I always use a lot of methods and simple words for it.

The phrase 'talking about like subjects' is informal and redundant. Removing 'like' improves clarity.

× So I remember the key for for the important things that I have to learn and remember.

✓ So I remember the key points for the important things that I have to learn and remember.

The phrase 'the key for for the important things' has a repeated preposition and is unclear. 'Key points for the important things' is clearer.