Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Tapai ko uttar thulo sentence haru cha ra thap spashtata ra sankshipta banau. Ekdamai dherai 'more and more and more' jasto shabda haru prayog nagarnu. English ma spasht ra prabhavi uttar dinu parcha.

例: No, I am not very good at memorising things because I suffer from SLE, which affects my memory. Therefore, I need to practice regularly to improve it.

提案: Tapai ko uttar ma thap spashtata ra sangathit vishay haru sametnu parcha. 'Uh' jasto filler shabda haru hataunu ra sentence haru lai ramro sang link garnu.

例: Yes, I have forgotten important things like taking money, medicines, and completing tasks at my office, which sometimes causes problems.

提案: Tapai ko uttar ramro cha tara thap linking words jastai 'also' lai thik thau ma prayog garnu parcha ra sentence haru lai thap prabhavi banau.

例: In my daily life, I need to remember to take my medicine on time, bring lunch to my younger sibling at school, and I also write in my journal every morning.

提案: Tapai ko uttar ma thap clarity ra coherence chahinchha. 'the the things I plant' jasto galti haru hataunu ra linking words jastai 'therefore' ya 'so' ko prayog garera sentence haru lai ramro sang jodnu.

例: I take notes and use sticky notes by writing down my plans and sticking them on the wall so that I can see and remember them easily.

× No, I'm very poor at memorizing things.

✓ No, I'm not very good at memorizing things.

The original sentence uses 'poor at' which is less natural in this context. The phrase 'not very good at' is more appropriate to express difficulty in memorizing things.

× Because of my health issues, I have been suffering from SLE, so it is quite difficult for me to memorize all the things at the same time.

✓ Because of my health issues, I have been suffering from SLE, so it is quite difficult for me to memorize everything at the same time.

The phrase 'all the things' is awkward here; 'everything' is more natural and concise when referring to all items collectively.

× So I need to practice more and more and more to memorize.

✓ So I need to practice more and more to memorize.

Repeating 'and more' three times is redundant. Using 'more and more' once is sufficient to express increasing effort.

× Yes, there are several things that I have forgotten very important things in my life, For example, uh, taking money and taking medicines and working at my office, et cetera.

✓ Yes, there are several very important things that I have forgotten in my life. For example, taking money, taking medicines, and working at my office, etc.

The original sentence is repetitive and awkward. Removing the repeated 'things' and restructuring improves clarity and flow.

× working at my office

✓ working in my office

The correct preposition for being inside a building or workplace is 'in' rather than 'at'.

× The things I need to remember in my daily life, for example taking medicine on time and bringing lunch to my younger sibling at school and also I always write journal in the 1st morning.

✓ The things I need to remember in my daily life are, for example, taking medicine on time, bringing lunch to my younger sibling at school, and also I always write in my journal first thing in the morning.

The original sentence lacks a main verb after the subject. Adding 'are' completes the sentence. Also, 'write journal' should be 'write in my journal', and 'in the 1st morning' is corrected to 'first thing in the morning' for natural expression.

× I used to take notes and try to remember the next morning and also I use sticky notes.

✓ I take notes and try to remember them the next morning, and I also use sticky notes.

'Used to' implies a past habit, but the context suggests a current habit, so 'I take notes' is better. Also, adding 'them' clarifies what is being remembered.

× I always write down the things the the things I plant and then I stick it to the wall so that I can see it and remember that moment.

✓ I always write down the things I plan and then stick them to the wall so that I can see them and remember.

The sentence has repetition ('the the things') and a typo ('plant' instead of 'plan'). Also, 'stick it' should be 'stick them' to agree with plural 'things', and 'remember that moment' is better as just 'remember' for clarity.