Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which affects naturalness and effectiveness. Try to respond directly with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and use specific examples with correct vocabulary. Also, limit your answer to about 3-5 sentences.

例: Yes, I am quite good at memorizing things. For example, during school, I could easily remember important dates and events in history, which helped me excel in that subject.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but contains unclear words and some grammatical mistakes. To improve, use clear and precise vocabulary, organize your answer with a topic sentence followed by supporting details, and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, once during my first year of dental school, I forgot the main points about tooth development during an important exam. As a result, I couldn't write the answer properly, which negatively affected my test score.

提案: Your answer is somewhat disorganized and contains unclear phrases. To improve, start with a clear topic sentence, use linking words to connect ideas, and provide specific examples. Also, avoid vague or incorrect expressions like "lifestyle is eating wealth."

例: In daily life, I need to remember my schedule to stay organized. Additionally, maintaining a healthy lifestyle by eating nutritious food and getting enough sleep is very important.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and contains many hesitations and unclear phrases. To improve, organize your response with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use linking words to explain your method clearly and concisely.

例: I usually remember important tasks by making a to-do list the day before. This helps me keep track of things like shopping, daily chores, and studying, so I don't forget anything important.

× I'm usually good at memorizing things, mainly the deeds and the years back in the school when in the history subject I was the only one person who used to always remember the years of every authentic umbars.

✓ I'm usually good at memorizing things, mainly the deeds and the years back in school when in the history subject I was the only person who used to always remember the years of every authentic umbars.

The phrase 'the only one person' is incorrect because 'person' is singular and 'one' already indicates singularity. The correct phrase is 'the only person'. Also, 'back in the school' should be 'back in school' as 'school' here is used in a general sense without an article.

× I'm usually good at memorizing things, mainly the deeds and the years back in the school when in the history subject I was the only one person who used to always remember the years of every authentic umbars.

✓ I'm usually good at memorizing things, mainly the deeds and the years back in school when in the history subject I was the only person who used to always remember the years of every authentic umbars.

The preposition 'in the school' is incorrect in this context. When referring to attending school in general, we say 'in school' without 'the'.

× The one time during my first year of the BDS, I forgot a main important Lau which I had to write.

✓ One time during my first year of the BDS, I forgot a main important law which I had to write.

The phrase 'The one time' is better as 'One time' to sound natural. Also, 'Lau' seems to be a typo and should be 'law'. The past tense 'forgot' is correct here.

× The one time during my first year of the BDS, I forgot a main important Lau which I had to write.

✓ One time during my first year of the BDS, I forgot a very important law which I had to write.

The phrase 'main important' is incorrect. 'Very important' or simply 'important' is appropriate. 'Main' is not used as an intensifier here.

× The answer was the development of the tooth.

✓ The answer was the development of the teeth.

'Tooth' is singular, but in this context, 'teeth' (plural) is more appropriate when talking about development generally.

× So I forgot all the main headings and topics.

✓ So I forgot all the main headings and topics.

This sentence is correct in terms of singular and plural usage.

× In daily life, it is very important to stay organized, remembering the timetable which we had made in the previous date.

✓ In daily life, it is very important to stay organized, remembering the timetable which we made on the previous day.

The phrase 'had made in the previous date' is incorrect. The past perfect 'had made' is unnecessary here; simple past 'made' is better. Also, 'in the previous date' should be 'on the previous day' because 'day' is used with 'on' and 'date' is not appropriate here.

× It's very important additionally, maintaining health, lifestyle is eating wealth and getting enough sleep is also very.

✓ It's also very important to maintain health and lifestyle; eating well and getting enough sleep are also very important.

The original sentence is fragmented and lacks proper conjunctions and structure. 'Additionally' should be placed properly or replaced with 'also'. 'Maintaining health, lifestyle is eating wealth' is incorrect; it should be 'to maintain health and lifestyle; eating well'. 'Wealth' is a wrong word here; 'well' is correct. The sentence ends abruptly and needs completion.

× I pre I do I usually remember important things by making A to do list a day before it is important everyone to make A to do list To Do List, whether it's for the shopping, whether it's for the daily circle, or whether it's for the the studying purpose.

✓ I usually remember important things by making a to-do list a day before. It is important for everyone to make a to-do list, whether it's for shopping, daily chores, or studying purposes.

The original sentence has many errors including repetition and incorrect prepositions. 'It is important everyone to make' should be 'It is important for everyone to make'. 'The shopping' should be 'shopping'. 'Daily circle' is incorrect; 'daily chores' or 'daily tasks' is better. 'The studying purpose' should be 'studying purposes'.

× I people usually get tend to forget the basic things.

✓ People usually tend to forget the basic things.

The phrase 'I people' is incorrect. It should be just 'People'. Also, 'get tend to' is incorrect; 'tend to' is sufficient.

× So by making To Do List it we can we can.

✓ So by making a to-do list, we can remember important things better.

The original sentence is incomplete and repetitive. It needs to be completed to convey the intended meaning clearly.