Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat natural but contains grammatical errors and some redundancy. Try to use correct verb forms and avoid unnecessary words. Also, use linking words to make your answer more coherent. For example, you can say, "Yes, I am good at memorising things because I usually ignore distractions, which helps my mind stay relaxed."

例: Yes, I am good at memorising things because I usually ignore distractions, which helps my mind stay relaxed and focused.

提案: Your answer is unclear and has repetition. Try to respond directly and clearly with a topic sentence, then add specific details using linking words. For example, "I rarely forget important things; however, I remember once when I lost my house key, which caused me a lot of trouble."

例: I rarely forget important things; however, I remember once when I lost my house key, which caused me a lot of trouble.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and has grammatical mistakes. Use a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words. For example, "In my daily life, I need to remember to work throughout the day and also to perform my two daily worships to God."

例: In my daily life, I need to remember to work throughout the day and also to perform my two daily worships to God.

提案: Your answer includes an irrelevant sentence and has grammatical errors. Focus on answering the question directly with a topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. For example, "I usually avoid distractions and make lists on my mobile phone to remember important things."

例: I usually avoid distractions and make lists on my mobile phone to remember important things.

× I am very good at recalling particulare stuff as I usually do ignore distractions and my mind always feel relaxed.

✓ I am very good at recalling particular stuff as I usually ignore distractions and my mind always feels relaxed.

The verb 'feel' should be in the third person singular present tense 'feels' to agree with the singular subject 'my mind'. Also, 'do ignore' is incorrect here; 'usually ignore' is the correct form. 'Particulare' is a spelling mistake corrected to 'particular'.

× Eventually it didn't happen many times, but I I remember one time when I lost my house key.

✓ Eventually, it didn't happen many times, but I remember one time when I lost my house key.

The phrase 'Eventually it didn't happen many times' is awkward; adding a comma after 'Eventually' improves clarity. The repeated 'I' is a typographical error and removed. The verb 'remember' is in present tense which is acceptable here as the student is recalling a past event. No past tense correction needed for 'remember' in this context.

× Well, the very first thing it's necessary to remember is to work, which I have to do in my entire day.

✓ Well, the very first thing that is necessary to remember is to work, which I have to do throughout my entire day.

The phrase 'in my entire day' is incorrect; 'throughout my entire day' is the correct prepositional phrase to express the duration. Also, 'it's' is better replaced with 'that is' for clarity.

× Secondly, I have to remember the two worship to God.

✓ Secondly, I have to remember to worship God twice.

The phrase 'the two worship to God' is incorrect. 'Worship' is a verb here, so 'to worship God twice' correctly expresses the intended meaning. 'The two' is an incorrect quantifier in this context.

× Where is Valley earlier mentioned? I usually avoid distractions and remember things while making list on mobile phone.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, I usually avoid distractions and remember things by making lists on my mobile phone.

The sentence 'Where is Valley earlier mentioned?' is unclear and likely a mishearing or miswriting. It is corrected to 'As I mentioned earlier' to make sense. Also, 'making list' should be 'making lists' and 'on mobile phone' should be 'on my mobile phone' for correct article and possessive pronoun usage.