Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy and grammatical errors, and try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, instead of listing items without connectors, you could say "I am good at remembering things such as names, faces, and birth dates. Additionally, I can recall memories from nursery school, which surprised my parents when I shared them."

例: Yes, I am good at remembering things such as names, faces, and birth dates. Additionally, I can recall memories from when I was in nursery school, which surprised my parents when I shared them.

提案: Your answer needs clearer structure and more precise language. Avoid confusing phrases like "done a blender" and use linking words to organize your story logically. For example, you could say "Yes, once I locked my house but forgot to remove the key from the lock. When my family and I returned, the key was still there, and I was scolded by my parents. I took responsibility for my mistake."

例: Yes, once I locked my house but forgot to remove the key from the lock. When my family and I returned, the key was still there, and I was scolded by my parents. I took responsibility for my mistake.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to organize your ideas with linking words and be more specific. For example, "As a teacher, I need to remember many tasks, such as assignments for students. Most importantly, I must remember each child's birthday because our school celebrates them, so I need to prepare accordingly."

例: As a teacher, I need to remember many tasks, such as assignments for students. Most importantly, I must remember each child's birthday because our school celebrates them, so I need to prepare accordingly.

提案: Your answer is confusing and contains several errors. Try to clarify your ideas and use linking words. For example, "At home, I rely on technology by making to-do lists on my mobile phone. However, since removals are not allowed at my school, I prepare sticky notes and paste them on my register, which I carry to all classes, to remember important tasks."

例: At home, I rely on technology by making to-do lists on my mobile phone. However, since removals are not allowed at my school, I prepare sticky notes and paste them on my register, which I carry to all classes, to remember important tasks.

× Yes, I would say I'm good at remembering many things like the name Ann, faces of the people, the birth dates and many more things.

✓ Yes, I would say I'm good at remembering many things like the name Ann, faces of people, birth dates and many more things.

The phrase 'faces of the people' is incorrect because 'the people' is unnecessarily specific and plural. It should be 'faces of people' to indicate faces belonging to people in general. Also, 'the birth dates' should be 'birth dates' without 'the' to generalize the concept.

× I can even recall my memories when I was in class nursery and it surprised this my parents when I share my memories with them.

✓ I can even recall my memories when I was in nursery class and it surprised my parents when I shared my memories with them.

The verb 'share' should be in the past tense 'shared' to match the past context. Also, 'this my parents' is incorrect; it should be 'my parents'. The phrase 'class nursery' is better as 'nursery class'.

× Yes, I have done a blender one time I remember I locked my house but I forgot to take out the key from the lock and when my family and I returned home, the key was in the lock and I was scolded by my parents and I took responsibility of that mistake.

✓ Yes, I made a blunder one time. I remember I locked my house but forgot to take out the key from the lock. When my family and I returned home, the key was still in the lock, and I was scolded by my parents. I took responsibility for that mistake.

The phrase 'have done a blender' is incorrect; it should be 'made a blunder'. The sentence is long and run-on; it is better to split it for clarity. 'Took responsibility of' should be 'took responsibility for'. Past tense verbs 'forgot' and 'returned' are correct but need clearer punctuation.

× Since I'm a teacher, I have to remember many things like the task that I have to give to the students.

✓ Since I'm a teacher, I have to remember many things like the tasks that I have to give to the students.

The word 'task' should be plural 'tasks' because it refers to multiple things to remember.

× But most important thing you have to remember is the birth date of the children because it is a culture of over school to celebrate the children's birthday sort for making preparations, I have to remember all these things.

✓ But the most important thing you have to remember is the birth date of the children because it is a culture of our school to celebrate the children's birthdays. So, for making preparations, I have to remember all these things.

The phrase 'culture of over school' is incorrect; it should be 'culture of our school'. 'Birthday' should be plural 'birthdays' to match 'children'. The sentence is run-on and needs to be split for clarity.

× When I'm in home, I rely on the technology.

✓ When I'm at home, I rely on technology.

The correct preposition is 'at home' not 'in home'. Also, 'the technology' should be 'technology' as a general concept.

× I made A to do list on the mobile for the task I have to do.

✓ I made a to-do list on my mobile for the tasks I have to do.

The article 'A' should be lowercase 'a'. 'To do list' should be hyphenated as 'to-do list'. 'The mobile' is better as 'my mobile'. 'Task' should be plural 'tasks' to match the context.

× But removals are not allowed in my school.

✓ But removals are not allowed at my school.

The correct preposition is 'at my school' when referring to location or institution.

× So I prepared a list on the sticky note and paste it on my resistor that I carried you all the classes and to remember the important things that have to do in the particular class.

✓ So I prepared a list on a sticky note and pasted it on my register that I carried to all the classes to remember the important things that I have to do in each particular class.

The verb 'paste' should be past tense 'pasted' to match 'prepared'. 'Sticky note' needs the article 'a'. 'Resistor' is incorrect; it should be 'register'. 'Carried you all the classes' is incorrect; it should be 'carried to all the classes'. The phrase 'have to do in the particular class' should be 'have to do in each particular class' for clarity.