Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains some grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific examples using linking words. Avoid unnecessary phrases and incorrect words like 'shop memory' and 'More Oval'.

例: Yes, I have a good memory, especially for numbers. For instance, I can easily remember the mobile numbers of my family members, as well as my bank card and ATM numbers. This shows that I am quite good at memorising important information.

提案: Your answer needs clearer structure and better vocabulary. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid unclear phrases like 'chill to exams'. Also, try to be more specific about the situation and your feelings.

例: Yes, I forgot something important two months ago. I was going to take an exam, but when I reached the exam centre, I realised I had forgotten my admit card. This experience taught me that having a sharp memory is essential, especially for important things.

提案: Your answer has grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions like 'I always sneak to remember'. Try to organise your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using appropriate linking words. Use correct vocabulary and grammar.

例: In my daily life, I need to remember important information such as my family members' phone numbers. This is useful in case I lose my phone. Also, I try to memorise my passwords and important IDs so that I can recover them if I forget or lose access.

提案: Your answer is somewhat confusing and contains unclear phrases like 'use mobile so as a carrot always'. Try to give a clear topic sentence and explain your methods logically using linking words. Use simple and correct vocabulary.

例: I usually remember important things by keeping them in my mind or writing them down. For convenience, I often use my mobile phone to note down important information, which helps me recall them easily later.

× Yes, as I have a shop memory, I'm good at memorizing things such as the mobile numbers of my family members.

✓ Yes, as I have a sharp memory, I'm good at memorizing things such as the mobile numbers of my family members.

The word 'shop' is incorrect here; the correct adjective is 'sharp' to describe memory. This is a common mistake where a wrong adjective is used, so replacing 'shop' with 'sharp' corrects the meaning.

× More Oval.

'More Oval' is an incomplete and unclear sentence fragment. It should be removed or rewritten to convey a clear meaning. Since it does not fit contextually, it is best omitted.

× I know each and everything, the count number.

✓ I know each and everything, including the count number.

The phrase 'the count number' is unclear and lacks proper connection. Adding 'including' clarifies the sentence structure and meaning.

× My bank card number, my ATM number.

✓ I also know my bank card number and my ATM number.

This is a sentence fragment lacking a verb. Adding 'I also know' completes the sentence and improves clarity.

× So this proves said I'm good at memorizing things.

✓ So this proves that I'm good at memorizing things.

The phrase 'proves said' is incorrect. The correct structure is 'proves that' to introduce a clause.

× Yes, it happened with me two months ago.

✓ Yes, it happened to me two months ago.

The correct preposition with 'happened' is 'to' not 'with'. Also, 'happened to me' is the standard expression.

× I was appearing for my class, chill to exams and when I reached the center I forgot my admit card which was the most important.

✓ I was appearing for my class exams, and when I reached the center, I forgot my admit card, which was the most important.

The phrase 'chill to exams' is incorrect and unclear. It should be 'class exams'. Also, commas are added for clarity and sentence flow.

× Then I realized that having a sharp memory is necessary for you, specially for important things.

✓ Then I realized that having a sharp memory is necessary for you, especially for important things.

The word 'specially' is incorrect here; the correct adverb is 'especially' to indicate emphasis.

× In my day-to-day life I really need to remember the phone numbers of my family members in case if I lost my phone for awhile.

✓ In my day-to-day life, I really need to remember the phone numbers of my family members in case I lose my phone for a while.

The phrase 'in case if' is redundant; 'in case' alone is correct. Also, 'lost' should be 'lose' to match the present/future context. 'For awhile' should be 'for a while'.

× I always sneak to remember my passwords of my phone or my important ID's so that I can if their loss I can regain them back.

✓ I always try to remember my phone passwords or my important IDs so that if I lose them, I can regain them.

The verb 'sneak' is incorrect here; 'try' fits the context. The phrase 'if their loss I can regain them back' is ungrammatical and is corrected to 'if I lose them, I can regain them'. Also, 'ID's' should be 'IDs' without apostrophe.

× Normally I just keep the important things in my mind or elsewhere, or write it down on the paper.

✓ Normally, I just keep important things in my mind or elsewhere, or write them down on paper.

Added comma after 'Normally' for clarity. 'It' should be 'them' to agree with plural 'things'. 'On the paper' is better as 'on paper'.

× Moreover, it is convenient for me to use mobile so as a carrot always.

✓ Moreover, it is convenient for me to use my mobile phone as a reminder always.

The phrase 'so as a carrot always' is incorrect and unclear. It seems the intended meaning is 'as a reminder'. 'Mobile' should be 'mobile phone' for clarity.

× So I write down in the notes of mobile phone.

✓ So I write them down in the notes app on my mobile phone.

The sentence lacks clarity and correct structure. 'Write down in the notes of mobile phone' is incorrect; it should be 'write them down in the notes app on my mobile phone'.