Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many grammatical errors and confusing phrases. Try to directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, and provide specific supporting details using correct vocabulary. Avoid redundancy and unclear words. For example, clarify what 'screen machine' means and explain how it helps with your flowers.

例: My favourite machine at home is the sewing machine because it helps me fix and alter my clothes. This saves me money since I don't need to go to a tailor for small repairs.

提案: Your answer has some good ideas but is unclear and contains grammatical mistakes. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically and be more specific. Also, avoid repetition and incorrect phrases like 'in Washington's'.

例: Yes, I think washing machines and vacuum cleaners are very important because they help us complete household chores quickly and efficiently. For example, washing machines save time and ensure our clothes are clean, which is good for our health.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some repetition and awkward phrasing. Try to be more concise and use linking words to improve coherence. Also, correct grammar and word choice will make your answer clearer.

例: Yes, I always read the instructions carefully before using a machine because not following them can cause problems. Reading instructions helps me set up the device correctly and use it safely.

提案: Your answer has good points but is unclear due to incorrect word choices like 'bizarre effects order' and 'hurts in efficiently setting'. Use simpler, clearer vocabulary and link your ideas logically.

例: Yes, I think reading instructions is very important because it prevents mistakes and helps us set up devices properly. This makes using the machine easier and safer.

× My home I can't, don't.

✓ I can't describe my home.

The original sentence lacks proper sentence structure and clarity. It seems the student intended to express difficulty in describing their home. The corrected sentence provides a clear subject and verb, making the sentence grammatically correct and understandable.

× Most favorite machine is the screen machine because it helps with the various allegations of my flowers and it saves a lot of lots of money.

✓ My favourite machine is the washing machine because it helps with the various alterations of my clothes and it saves a lot of money.

The phrase 'most favorite' is incorrect; 'favourite' alone suffices. 'Screen machine' is likely a mispronunciation or misuse; 'washing machine' fits the context. 'Allegations of my flowers' is incorrect; 'alterations of my clothes' is appropriate. 'A lot of lots of money' is redundant; 'a lot of money' is correct.

× Rather than going to appeal it, we can do all the alterations at home.

✓ Rather than going to a tailor, we can do all the alterations at home.

The phrase 'going to appeal it' is incorrect and unclear. The intended meaning is likely 'going to a tailor' for alterations. Correcting this improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× In my opinion, I believe that that helps in the household chores of the house, the health and washing clothes efficiently with saving time.

✓ In my opinion, I believe that washing machines help with household chores, health, and washing clothes efficiently while saving time.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. The corrected sentence provides a clear subject and verb, and properly connects ideas to improve readability and grammatical correctness.

× Moreover, there are there reliable as if they do with their hands, it's it takes a lot of time in Washington's.

✓ Moreover, they are reliable because doing these tasks by hand takes a lot of time.

The original sentence has pronoun confusion and unclear phrasing. 'There are there reliable' is incorrect; 'they are reliable' is correct. 'Washington's' is likely a mispronunciation of 'washing'. The correction clarifies meaning and fixes pronoun usage.

× Honestly, I followed the instructions very accurately because I believe that if we don't follow the instructions, this was This can lead to disastrous effect.

✓ Honestly, I follow the instructions very accurately because I believe that if we don't follow the instructions, this can lead to disastrous effects.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. 'I followed' should be 'I follow' to maintain present tense consistency. 'This was This can lead' is incorrect; 'this can lead' is correct. 'Disastrous effect' should be plural 'disastrous effects' to match context.

× Following the instructions is really important because it would help to set up the device accurately and if we follow the instructions.

✓ Following the instructions is really important because it helps to set up the device accurately, and if we follow the instructions,

The original sentence is incomplete and awkward. The correction completes the sentence structure and improves clarity by properly connecting clauses.

× We can do the proper use of the device.

✓ we can use the device properly.

The phrase 'do the proper use' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'use the device properly' to convey the intended meaning clearly and grammatically.

× I believe that it is really significant to read the instructions because it doesn't lead to any bizarre effects order.

✓ I believe that it is really important to read the instructions because it doesn't lead to any bizarre effects or errors.

The phrase 'effects order' is incorrect and unclear. Likely intended 'effects or errors'. Also, 'significant' is better replaced with 'important' for natural usage in this context.

× It hurts in efficiently setting of the device and the works become easier to do.

✓ It helps in efficiently setting up the device and the work becomes easier to do.

The original sentence uses 'hurts in' incorrectly; it should be 'helps in'. 'Setting of the device' should be 'setting up the device'. 'Works' should be singular 'work' to refer to tasks collectively.