Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable but can be improved by making it more natural and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and use linking words to connect ideas. Also, try to use more precise vocabulary and correct grammar, for example, 'coffee machine' instead of 'so coffee machine', and 'coffee lover' instead of 'coffee lovers'.

例: My favourite machine at home is my coffee machine. I received it as a birthday gift from my father, and it has been very helpful. Previously, I used to visit cafes often, which took up a lot of my time and money. However, now I can easily make any type of coffee at home, which is very convenient.

提案: Your response needs to be clearer and more coherent. Use proper linking words to connect your ideas logically. Avoid unclear phrases like 'generate graph for stripping machines'. Also, try to use more precise vocabulary and correct grammar. For example, say 'people have hectic schedules and prefer to use washing and sweeping machines to save time'.

例: Yes, I believe washing machines and sweeping machines are very important nowadays. Since people have busy schedules and limited time, these machines help reduce the workload at home. Therefore, using such technology is very convenient and beneficial.

提案: Your answer is relevant but needs clearer expression and better grammar. Avoid confusing phrases like 'I'm impossible to make Reese instructions'. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about how instructions help. For example, mention that reading instructions helps understand functions and operate machines safely.

例: Yes, I always read the instructions before using any appliance. This helps me understand all the functions and operate the machine correctly. Without reading the instructions, I might miss important features or use the machine improperly.

提案: Your answer is short and lacks clarity. Try to give a clear topic sentence and support it with reasons. Avoid filler phrases like 'you know' and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and specific.

例: In my opinion, it is very important to read the instructions before using any machine. This ensures that we operate the machine properly and get the best performance from it.

× Sort of favorite machine of mine at my home is so coffee machine.

✓ My favorite machine at home is a coffee machine.

The phrase 'Sort of favorite machine of mine at my home is so coffee machine' has incorrect article usage and word order. 'So coffee machine' is incorrect; it should be 'a coffee machine' to indicate one machine. Also, 'Sort of favorite machine of mine' is awkward; 'My favorite machine' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× I am a huge coffee lovers so recently or on my birthday my father gifted me as a present and I think it helped me a lot.

✓ I am a huge coffee lover, so recently on my birthday, my father gifted me one as a present, and I think it has helped me a lot.

'I am a huge coffee lovers' is incorrect because 'I' is singular and 'lovers' is plural. It should be 'I am a huge coffee lover'. Also, 'gifted me as a present' is incomplete; it should specify what was gifted, e.g., 'gifted me one as a present'. The tense 'helped' is acceptable but 'has helped' fits better here.

× Earlier I used to go to nearby cafes and it used to remove waste a lot of time and money.

✓ Earlier, I used to go to nearby cafes, and it used to waste a lot of time and money.

The phrase 'it used to remove waste a lot of time and money' is incorrect. The verb 'remove' is wrongly used here. The correct verb is 'waste' to express losing time and money. Also, 'remove waste' is not appropriate in this context.

× Now I can make any kind.

✓ Now I can make any kind of coffee.

The sentence 'Now I can make any kind.' is incomplete and unclear. It should specify what kind, e.g., 'any kind of coffee' to complete the meaning.

× So in our days people don't have much time.

✓ Nowadays, people don't have much time.

'In our days' is an incorrect phrase. The correct expression is 'Nowadays' to indicate the current time period.

× They don't want to pull more extra work at home because they have already very hectic schedules at their meetings at the office.

✓ They don't want to do extra work at home because they already have very hectic schedules and meetings at the office.

'Pull more extra work' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'do extra work'. Also, 'have already very hectic schedules at their meetings' is awkward; it should be 'already have very hectic schedules and meetings'.

× So they generate graph for stripping machines and washing machines at the one.

✓ So they prefer using sweeping machines and washing machines at home.

The original sentence is unclear and contains errors like 'generate graph for stripping machines'. The intended meaning seems to be that people prefer using these machines. 'Stripping machines' is likely a mishearing or typo for 'sweeping machines'.

× So because technology has given us everything, so we should actually use it.

✓ Because technology has given us everything, we should actually use it.

The sentence has redundant 'so' at the beginning and middle. Removing the first 'so' improves clarity and correctness.

× Yes. So I'm impossible to make Reese instructions before using any appliances because it really well, you know, help me to know about all the functions of the machines.

✓ Yes. So I always read the instructions before using any appliances because it really helps me to understand all the functions of the machines.

'I'm impossible to make Reese instructions' is incorrect. The intended meaning is 'I always read the instructions'. Also, 'help me to know about' should be 'helps me to understand' for clarity and correctness.

× Sometimes without reading instruction we are not aware of the function that machine is giving this.

✓ Sometimes, without reading the instructions, we are not aware of the functions that the machine provides.

The sentence is awkward and grammatically incorrect. 'Function that machine is giving this' is incorrect; it should be 'functions that the machine provides'. Also, 'instruction' should be plural 'instructions'.

× So it actually helped me to know all the functions, although system how it will work.

✓ So it actually helps me to know all the functions and how the system works.

The sentence is confusing and grammatically incorrect. 'Although system how it will work' is incorrect; it should be 'and how the system works'. Also, 'helped' should be 'helps' to maintain present tense consistency.

× According to me, according to my perspective, I think it's important to read the instruction.

✓ According to me, from my perspective, I think it's important to read the instructions.

'Read the instruction' should be plural 'instructions' because usually manuals have multiple instructions.

× As I mentioned the work it actually helpers to operate the machine and the you know.

✓ As I mentioned, it actually helps to operate the machine in the best way.

The sentence is fragmented and contains errors like 'helpers' instead of 'helps' and 'and the you know' which is incomplete. The correction clarifies the meaning and corrects verb form.