Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: start with a topic sentence that answers the question, then give one or two concise reasons with specific examples. Avoid unrelated words and grammar mistakes (e.g., 'favorite pressures' unclear). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: No, I'm not very patient. I often feel stressed when I face pressure at work because I want quick results, so I get anxious if things take too long.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and a short example. Correct basic grammar (e.g., 'I hate', 'I'm getting'). Use linking words such as 'for example' and 'because' to connect ideas naturally.

例: I hate tasks that take a long time because they feel unproductive. For example, I get impatient when I have to wait in long lines or do repetitive handicraft, since I prefer activities that show quick progress.

提案: Answer with a clear topic sentence about your feelings, then give one or two specific coping strategies. Fix grammar (e.g., 'I feel bored and annoyed', 'sometimes I just sit in one place' or 'I need to move around'). Use linking words like 'so' or 'therefore'.

例: I feel bored and annoyed when tasks take a long time, so I try to break the work into short sessions and take brief walks to stay focused.

提案: Start with a clear statement about your job, then explain why with a specific example. Correct grammar (e.g., 'my job requires creativity more than patience'). Use linking words like 'for example' and 'because' to make the explanation coherent.

例: Not much — my job requires creativity more than patience because we need to generate fresh ideas quickly. For example, we often go out for research and brainstorming sessions to develop new concepts.

提案: Give a direct comparison: say whether you're more patient now and give concrete reasons and examples. Fix tense and word choice (e.g., 'I was more extroverted and full of energy'). Use linking words like 'but' and 'because' to show contrast and cause.

例: Yes, I'm more patient now than as a child. I used to be very extroverted and impulsive, but as I focused more on studying and planning, I learned to wait and think things through before acting.

× I'm not a patient person, I usually feel alone or feel stressed or whenever I have to favorite pressures in my life.

✓ I'm not a patient person; I usually feel alone or stressed whenever I have to face pressure in my life.

The sentence uses incorrect and awkward prepositions and word choices: 'favorite pressures' is wrong and likely intended 'face pressure'. 'Feel alone or feel stressed or whenever' has extra 'feel' and incorrect connector 'or whenever'. Use a semicolon or period to separate clauses and change 'pressures' to the uncountable noun 'pressure' when speaking generally. Also remove the repeated 'feel'. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Umm, I'm hate doing tasks that take a long time, like waiting for hours or working on complicated handicraft.

✓ Umm, I hate doing tasks that take a long time, like waiting for hours or working on complicated handicrafts.

'I'm hate' is incorrect; the correct form is simple present 'I hate' for a general habit (third person singular rule not directly applicable, but verb form error). Also 'handicraft' should be plural 'handicrafts' when referring to types of craft activities. Remove contraction error 'I'm'. Grammar problem type ID: 2

× I'm get impatient because I prefer activities with quicker resort and I found long and repetitive tasks frustrating.

✓ I get impatient because I prefer activities with quicker results, and I find long and repetitive tasks frustrating.

'I'm get' is ungrammatical; use simple present 'I get' for habitual feelings. 'Quicker resort' is incorrect collocation; use 'quicker results'. 'I found' mixes past with present general statements; change to 'I find' to maintain present tense consistency. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× I will feel boring, annoying and sometime I can just like set one place I would.

✓ I feel bored and annoyed, and sometimes I just like to sit in one place.

The speaker used adjectives where past-participial adjectives are needed: 'feel boring' means causing boredom; correct is 'feel bored' (experiencing boredom) and 'annoying' should be 'annoyed'. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'Set one place I would' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'sit in one place'. Also 'I will feel' suggests future; use simple present for habitual reactions. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× I will have to move around or do anything else or do multitask activity to distract me from being feel.

✓ I have to move around or do something else or multitask to distract myself from feeling that way.

'I will have to' shifts to future; habitual actions use present 'I have to'. 'Do anything else' is too vague; 'do something else' is natural. 'Do multitask activity' is unidiomatic; use 'multitask' as a verb. 'Distract me from being feel' is wrong pronoun and verb form; use reflexive 'myself' and gerund 'feeling'. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× I don't think my job required a lot of patience is actually required creativity more.

✓ I don't think my job requires a lot of patience; it actually requires more creativity.

The sentence mixes past 'required' with present 'don't think' and has awkward structure. Use present tense 'requires' to match 'I don't think' (present). Reorder clause for clarity and replace 'creativity more' with 'more creativity'. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× For example, when we plan on a new concept, we often go out for research and brainstorming together fresh ideas.

✓ For example, when we plan a new concept, we often go out to do research and brainstorm ideas together.

'Plan on a new concept' is less natural than 'plan a new concept'. 'Go out for research' should be 'go out to do research'. 'Brainstorming together fresh ideas' has wrong word order; use 'brainstorm ideas together'. Adjust verb forms for parallelism. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× So creativities and quick ideas generations are more important than seeing and waiting.

✓ So creativity and quick idea generation are more important than waiting and watching.

'Creativities' is incorrect plural; 'creativity' is an uncountable noun. 'Quick ideas generations' is ungrammatical; use 'quick idea generation' or 'quick generation of ideas'. 'Seeing and waiting' is awkward; 'waiting and watching' is more natural, but context suggests 'waiting' alone may suffice. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× When I was a child, I wasn't a patient person.

✓ When I was a child, I wasn't a patient person.

This sentence is grammatically correct; it uses past tense appropriately to describe the past state. No correction needed. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× I want more of an extrovert and Zoe full of energy.

✓ I was more of an extrovert and full of energy.

'I want' is incorrect tense; should be 'I was' to match 'when I was a child'. 'Zoe' appears to be a typo; remove it unless it's a name. Use 'more of an extrovert' and 'full of energy' to describe past personality. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× I used to spend free time hanging out and exploring, but as I grow older I became more patient because I know focus more on studying and planning before I.

✓ I used to spend my free time hanging out and exploring, but as I grew older I became more patient because I know to focus more on studying and planning beforehand.

Tense inconsistencies: 'as I grow older' should be past 'as I grew older' to match 'I became'. 'I know focus' is ungrammatical; use 'I learned to focus' or 'I know to focus' but better 'I learned to focus'. 'Planning before I' is incomplete; 'planning beforehand' or 'planning in advance' is correct. Use 'my free time' for natural phrasing. Grammar problem type ID: 6}]} (Note: Grammar problem type IDs are included in explanations.)