Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 문장 구조를 바로잡아 더 자연스럽게 대답하세요. 주제문으로 바로 답하고 이유와 구체적인 예를 간결히 연결어로 연결하세요. 시제와 관사 사용, 동사 형태(예: ‘be patient’, ‘go quickly’, ‘last year I went’)를 수정하고 중복 표현을 줄이세요.

例: No, I'm not a patient person. I tend to hurry because I like to get things done quickly, and last year when I visited a busy restaurant called Loteria, I became very impatient waiting for my order.

提案: 핵심 원인을 명확히 말하고 이유를 구체적으로 설명하세요. 반복을 피하고 연결어(if, because, so)를 정확히 쓰며 문법(예: 'makes me feel', 'when I'm really hungry')을 고치세요.

例: Hunger makes me feel impatient because when I'm very hungry I can't concentrate, and I often rush to eat. For example, if I skip lunch, I become irritable and impatient until I find something to eat.

提案: 질문에 대한 현재 느낌을 먼저 말하고, 과거 경험은 짧게 연결하세요. 'harmful' 같은 단어는 부적절하므로 'bored' 또는 'frustrated' 사용을 권장합니다. 문장 연결을 위해 'when'과 'so'를 올바르게 쓰고 문장 수를 2~3문장으로 제한하세요.

例: I usually feel bored and frustrated if I have to do something for a long time. For example, when I studied English for many hours last year, I often lost focus and went outside to take a break.

提案: 직업에 대한 답은 명확하고 전문적으로 표현하세요. 직무에서 요구되는 인내의 이유를 구체적으로 설명하고 불필요한 반복을 제거하세요. 문장 구조: 'My job as a fashion designer requires patience because...' 형태를 사용하세요.

例: Yes, absolutely. My job as a fashion designer requires a lot of patience because creating garments involves detailed sewing and multiple fittings, and I often spend hours perfecting a single piece.

提案: 비교 문장을 자연스럽게 만드세요: 'more patient now than when I was a child'라는 구조를 사용하고 이유와 결과를 하나 또는 두 문장으로 구체화하세요. 불필요한 단어(so, because 중복)를 제거하고 어순을 바로잡으세요.

例: Yes, I'm more patient now than when I was a child. As a child I used to get frustrated easily when I couldn't have toys, but now I can wait calmly and manage my emotions better in daily life.

× No, I didn't patient person because I always I always go to speedily and I didn't patient.

✓ No, I'm not a patient person because I always hurry and I'm not patient.

The student used incorrect verb forms and pronouns. Use 'I am not' for present state instead of 'I didn't'. 'Patient' is an adjective, so pair with 'am not'. 'Go to speedily' is wrong; use 'hurry'. Also avoid repeating 'I always'. Suggestion: say 'I'm not a patient person because I always hurry.'

× So when I was last year I go to I went to Loteria.

✓ Last year I went to Loteria.

The sentence mixed present and past tense. Use past simple 'went' for completed actions last year. Remove redundant words 'was' and repeated verbs. Suggestion: 'Last year I went to Loteria.'

× I didn't patient that that will be come.

✓ I wasn't patient that it would come.

Incorrect use of 'patient' (adjective) with 'didn't'. Use 'wasn't patient'. Also change 'will be come' to 'would come' to match past perspective. Suggestion: 'I wasn't patient that it would come.'

× Food Food is made me feel impatient because I'm really hungry.

✓ Food makes me feel impatient because I'm really hungry.

Repeated 'Food' and wrong verb form 'is made me'. Use simple present 'makes' for general truth. Suggestion: 'Food makes me feel impatient because I'm really hungry.'

× If I really hungry, it is really impatient and really harmful for me.

✓ If I am really hungry, I become impatient and it is harmful for me.

Missing auxiliary 'am' after 'I'. 'It is really impatient' is incorrect because 'hungry' causes 'I' to be impatient, not 'it'. Use 'I become impatient' and specify 'it is harmful' for clarity. Suggestion: 'If I am really hungry, I become impatient and it is harmful for me.'

× So because I I really love food and I I significantly remain in life food.

✓ Because I really love food, and food is an important part of my life.

Sentence has repetition and awkward phrasing 'significantly remain in life food'. Use 'food is an important part of my life' to convey meaning. Suggestion: 'Because I really love food; food is an important part of my life.'

× I felt really harmful when I was 7.

✓ I felt very uncomfortable when I was 7.

'Harmful' describes something that causes harm, not a feeling. Use adjectives for feelings like 'uncomfortable' or 'upset'. Keep past tense 'felt'. Suggestion: 'I felt very uncomfortable when I was 7.'

× When I was last year I went to I went to study English.

✓ Last year I went to study English.

Combine and simplify tenses: use 'Last year' with past simple 'went'. Remove redundant 'I went to'. Suggestion: 'Last year I went to study English.'

× It is really long time, so I didn't waiting for this study.

✓ It was a really long time, so I couldn't wait for the study.

Use past 'was' for duration. 'Didn't waiting' is ungrammatical; use 'couldn't wait' or 'didn't wait'. Also 'for this study' is awkward; use 'for the study' or 'for it'. Suggestion: 'It was a really long time, so I couldn't wait for it.'

× So I always go to the outside.

✓ So I always went outside.

Use past tense 'went' to match previous context. 'Go to the outside' is unnatural; use 'go outside' or 'went outside'. Suggestion: 'So I always went outside.'

× Yes, absolutely, because fashion designer is always required to be patient because we always sit down and always, always work and make made clothes or anything sit.

✓ Yes, absolutely, because being a fashion designer requires patience; we often sit and work to make clothes.

Missing article and awkward phrase 'fashion designer is'. Use gerund 'being a fashion designer' or 'as a fashion designer'. 'Make made clothes' is wrong; use 'make clothes'. Simplify repetition. Suggestion: 'Being a fashion designer requires patience; we often sit and work to make clothes.'

× So it is really patient need to patient.

✓ So you really need to be patient.

Awkward structure 'patient need to patient'. Use 'need to be patient' to express necessity. Suggestion: 'So you really need to be patient.'

× Yes, definitely. Because when I was seven years old I didn't I want to toy or anything.

✓ Yes, definitely. When I was seven years old I didn't want toys or anything.

Use simple past 'didn't want'. Remove extra 'I'. 'Toy' plural 'toys' is natural. Suggestion: 'When I was seven years old I didn't want toys.'

× I didn't patient so because but now I always patient in daily life.

✓ I wasn't patient then, but now I am patient in daily life.

Use past 'wasn't patient' for past state; use 'am patient' for present. Remove unnecessary words and correct conjunction order. Suggestion: 'I wasn't patient then, but now I am patient in daily life.'

× So I think this time is really happy.

✓ So I think this makes me really happy now.

Awkward 'this time is really happy'. Clarify subject: 'this' (being more patient) makes me happy. Use present 'makes me really happy now.' Suggestion: 'I think this makes me really happy now.'