Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 명확하지 않고 문법적 오류가 있습니다. 자연스러운 영어 표현을 사용하고, 주제 문장과 추가 설명을 명확히 구분하세요.

例: No, I am not a patient person because I like to do things quickly. However, I try to stay calm and think carefully when necessary.

提案: 답변이 중복되고 문장이 매끄럽지 않습니다. 연결어를 사용해 문장을 자연스럽게 연결하고 구체적인 예를 명확히 제시하세요.

例: It depends on the situation, but I usually feel impatient when my smartphone takes a long time to load or when I am stuck in heavy traffic.

提案: 문법 오류를 수정하고, 연결어를 사용해 문장을 더 자연스럽게 만드세요. 구체적인 감정과 이유를 명확히 표현하세요.

例: It depends on the situation. Usually, I feel bored when I have to do something for a long time. For example, when I study for my major while preparing a report, my concentration drops and I lose motivation.

提案: 문장이 불완전하고 의미 전달이 명확하지 않습니다. 주제 문장을 명확히 하고, 구체적인 경험을 덧붙여 설명하세요.

例: Yes, my job requires patience. Whenever I get tasks related to my major, I try to handle them carefully and patiently.

提案: 문법과 어휘 사용에 주의하고, 연결어를 사용해 문장을 자연스럽게 만드세요. 이유를 더 구체적으로 설명하면 좋습니다.

例: No, I was more patient as a child because I didn't have many responsibilities. Now, with more tasks related to my major, I find it harder to be patient.

× No, I think I'm impatient person so I like to do everything firstly.

✓ No, I think I'm an impatient person so I like to do everything first.

The noun 'person' is singular and requires an article 'an' before it. Also, 'firstly' is less common in spoken English; 'first' is more natural here.

× So I try to stay common, think things carefully so I I can't.

✓ So I try to stay calm and think things carefully, but I can't.

The word 'common' is incorrect; it should be 'calm'. Also, the conjunction 'so' is used incorrectly; 'and' and 'but' better connect the ideas. The repeated 'I' is a typo.

× So I think I usually impatient.

✓ So I think I am usually impatient.

The verb 'am' is missing to form the present tense 'I am usually impatient'.

× So when my smartphone has long loading and also heavy traffic jam also makes me impatient.

✓ So when my smartphone has a long loading time and also a heavy traffic jam, it makes me impatient.

'Loading' needs a quantifier like 'a long loading time'. 'Traffic jam' is countable and needs an article 'a'. Also, the sentence needs a subject 'it' for the second clause.

× I lost my motivation.

✓ I lose my motivation.

The context is present habitual action, so present tense 'lose' is appropriate instead of past tense 'lost'.

× Yes, I think my job requires me to be patient so if I have a job related to my major so I try to experience whenever I get.

✓ Yes, I think my job requires me to be patient, so if I have a job related to my major, I try to gain experience whenever I get the chance.

The sentence has redundant 'so' conjunctions and awkward phrasing. 'Try to experience' is incorrect; 'try to gain experience' is better. Also, 'whenever I get' is incomplete; 'whenever I get the chance' is clearer.

× No, I think I was a patient person when I was a child.

✓ No, I think I was a patient person when I was a child.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× So this is because I didn't have a responsibilities when I was a kid but now I have more responsibilities and tasks for my major.

✓ So this is because I didn't have responsibilities when I was a kid, but now I have more responsibilities and tasks for my major.

'Responsibilities' is plural and should not have the article 'a' before it.