Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to give a direct answer first, then add clear supporting details without repetition. Avoid filler words and correct grammar mistakes for a more natural response.

例: No, I'm not a patient person. I tend to feel restless, especially when I have to start work early, and I prefer to rest as much as possible before my shift.

提案: Provide a clearer reason for your impatience with specific examples, and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I think my impatience comes from my nature because I tend to be lazy, so when tasks take too long, I get frustrated and want to finish quickly.

提案: Use more precise vocabulary and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to explain how your feelings change over time.

例: At first, I feel awkward when I have to do something for a long time, but gradually, as I keep practising daily, I become more comfortable and less awkward.

提案: Give a more structured answer with clear reasons and avoid repeating the word 'patient'. Use linking words to connect your ideas.

例: Yes, my job requires a lot of patience because I work long shifts in the kitchen, which demands both physical endurance and mental calmness.

提案: Clarify your answer by explaining how your patience has improved with specific examples. Use correct grammar and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I am more patient now than when I was a child. For example, I used to get very hungry and impatient, but now I can control my feelings better.

× I like to sleep even though the my working shift is now coming to start.

✓ I like to sleep even though my working shift is now about to start.

The phrase 'the my working shift' incorrectly uses both the definite article 'the' and the possessive pronoun 'my' together. Only one is needed. Here, 'my' is appropriate to indicate possession, so 'the' should be removed.

× I'm very lazy so that prevent from being patient.

✓ I'm very lazy so that prevents me from being patient.

The verb 'prevent' requires a subject agreement and the preposition 'from' should be followed by an object. The sentence lacked subject-verb agreement and the object 'me' after 'from' was missing.

× I feel awkward the first moment, but little by little I tried to do my task every day then to make you feel less awkward.

✓ I feel awkward at first, but little by little I try to do my tasks every day to make myself feel less awkward.

The sentence mixes present and past tense incorrectly. 'Tried' should be 'try' to match the present tense context. Also, 'the first moment' is better expressed as 'at first', and 'to make you feel' should be 'to make myself feel' to reflect the speaker's experience.

× Because I'm working in the kitchen, then I need to work for a long time in one shift.

✓ Because I'm working in the kitchen, I need to work for a long time in one shift.

Using both 'Because' and 'then' together is redundant. 'Because' already indicates cause, so 'then' should be removed for correct conjunction usage.

× Be patient as well.

✓ I need to be patient as well.

The sentence fragment lacks a subject. Adding 'I need to' clarifies the subject and completes the sentence.

× Yes I am. I think so because when I was a child I I get hungry.

✓ Yes, I am. I think so because when I was a child I got hungry.

The verb 'get' should be in the past tense 'got' to match the past time reference 'when I was a child'.

× I could not stop eating but now I can control myself.

✓ I could not stop eating, but now I can control myself.

A comma is needed before 'but' to separate the two independent clauses properly.