Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence and support it with specific examples. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: Yes, I consider myself a patient person because I have dealt with many challenging situations with my family and friends. For instance, when conflicts arise, I calmly listen and try to find solutions without rushing.

提案: Your answer is clear but can be improved by using linking words and more specific details. Also, avoid small grammar mistakes like 'to when'.

例: I often feel impatient when I have to wait in long queues at supermarkets or banks because it feels like a waste of time. However, I believe that technology, such as online services, can help reduce these waiting times.

提案: Try to use more natural expressions and correct grammar. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I usually get bored quickly when I have to do something for a long time. Therefore, I take breaks by listening to music or gardening to relax my mind and stay focused.

提案: Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons. Use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, my job definitely requires patience because I will be working with patients in the future. Since it involves people's lives, I need to remain calm and handle situations carefully.

提案: Improve sentence structure and use linking words to connect ideas. Be more specific about how you have become more patient.

例: Yes, I am more patient now than when I was a child because I have matured and learned how to control my emotions. For example, I can stay calm in difficult situations and think before I act.

× Yes, I believe I'm a patient, patient person because I have experienced this this with my family and with my friends.

✓ Yes, I believe I'm a patient person because I have experienced this with my family and with my friends.

The phrase 'a patient, patient person' contains a repeated adjective 'patient' which is unnecessary and incorrect. Also, 'this this' is a repetition error. Removing the duplicate words improves clarity and correctness.

× I have involved with so many situations and solve those problems very patiently.

✓ I have been involved in so many situations and solved those problems very patiently.

The verb 'involved' needs to be in the present perfect passive form 'have been involved' to indicate experience. Also, 'solve' should be in past tense 'solved' to match the time frame. The preposition 'with' should be 'in' after 'involved'.

× Sometimes I feel impatient to when I go to supermarkets and banks waiting in long queues.

✓ Sometimes I feel impatient when I go to supermarkets and banks and have to wait in long queues.

The phrase 'impatient to when' is incorrect. 'Impatient' is followed by 'when' to introduce the situation. Also, 'waiting' should be changed to 'have to wait' to express obligation or experience.

× I'm a person that gets bored quickly when the time is expanding.

✓ I'm a person who gets bored quickly when time is passing slowly.

The phrase 'time is expanding' is unnatural; 'time is passing slowly' is more appropriate. Also, 'that' should be replaced with 'who' when referring to a person.

× I get bored too much so that's why I relax my mind by taking breaks like listening to music, gardening and do any other activity.

✓ I get bored too much, so that's why I relax my mind by taking breaks like listening to music, gardening, and doing other activities.

After 'by', verbs should be in the '-ing' form. 'Do any other activity' should be 'doing other activities' to maintain parallel structure and correct verb form.

× Yes, of course, definitely my job needs patience because in the future I have to work with patients.

✓ Yes, of course, definitely my job needs patience because in the future I have to work with patients.

No correction needed here as 'patients' is correctly plural and fits the context.

× So it's it's about a person's life.

✓ So it's about a person's life.

The repetition of 'it's' is an error. Removing the duplicate improves sentence clarity.

× So definitely I have to be patient and have to deal with my patients very.

✓ So definitely I have to be patient and have to deal with my patients very carefully.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'very'. Adding an adverb like 'carefully' completes the thought and corrects sentence structure.

× Yes, I believe I'm patient more than when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I believe I'm more patient than when I was a child.

The comparative form 'more patient' should be placed before the adjective. The original sentence has incorrect word order.

× At that time, I don't know anything, I can't realize anything.

✓ At that time, I didn't know anything, I couldn't realize anything.

The tense should be past to match 'at that time'. 'Don't' and 'can't' should be 'didn't' and 'couldn't' respectively.

× But now I'm mature enough to understand how to act, how to control the situation.

✓ But now I'm mature enough to understand how to act and how to control the situation.

Adding 'and' improves sentence flow and clarity when listing actions.