Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant but can be more natural and concise. Instead of 'consider myself as a patient person', say 'consider myself a patient person'. Also, 'work in a calmness' is unnatural; use 'work calmly'. Avoid redundancy by not repeating the idea of patience twice.

例: Yes, I consider myself a patient person because I prefer to work calmly rather than in a hurry.

提案: Your answer is detailed but some phrases are unclear or unnatural, like 'traffic jumps' and 'Harvick traffic'. Use 'traffic jams' and avoid unnecessary phrases like 'as we know'. Also, use linking words like 'because' to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I feel impatient in certain situations, especially during traffic jams. For example, when I am stuck in heavy traffic, I get frustrated because it wastes a lot of time, and time is very valuable.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains grammatical errors and redundancy. Use 'sometimes' instead of 'sometime'. Avoid repeating 'drop and to fall'. Also, use linking words like 'because' to explain reasons clearly.

例: I usually feel tired and sometimes bored when I have to do something for a long time because my concentration drops, making the task more exhausting.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many grammatical mistakes. Try to answer directly and clearly. For example, say whether your current or future job requires patience. Avoid confusing phrases like 'scanned RE education' and 'patient personality'.

例: I have recently completed my education in commerce, and if my future job requires patience, I will definitely work on becoming a patient person.

提案: Your answer is difficult to understand due to unclear phrases like 'Bradford Toby' and 'I am Noah'. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid irrelevant or confusing words. Also, combine sentences for better flow.

例: Definitely, I am more patient now than when I was a child because I used to rush things back then, but now I take my time and stay calm.

× I consider myself as a patient person because I prefer to work in a calmness rather than to work in a hurry.

✓ I consider myself a patient person because I prefer to work calmly rather than to work in a hurry.

The phrase 'consider myself as' is incorrect; 'consider myself' should be used without 'as'. Also, 'in a calmness' is incorrect; the correct form is the adverb 'calmly' to describe how you work. Using 'calmly' instead of 'in a calmness' makes the sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× Well, there are certain situations that make me feel quite impatient, such as traffic jumps.

✓ Well, there are certain situations that make me feel quite impatient, such as traffic jams.

The word 'jumps' is incorrect in this context; the correct word is 'jams' when referring to heavy traffic. This is a vocabulary error related to prepositions and collocations, and correcting it improves clarity.

× For example, when I am stuck in Harvick traffic, I often feel frustrated because it wasted a lot of time.

✓ For example, when I am stuck in Harvick traffic, I often feel frustrated because it wastes a lot of time.

The verb tense should be present tense 'wastes' to agree with the present situation described by 'I am stuck' and 'I often feel'. Using past tense 'wasted' is incorrect here because the action is habitual or general.

× I usually feel quite tired and sometime a bit bored when I have to do something for a long time.

✓ I usually feel quite tired and sometimes a bit bored when I have to do something for a long time.

The word 'sometime' is incorrect; the correct adverb is 'sometimes' to indicate frequency. This is a singular/plural form issue affecting adverb usage.

× For example, if I have to do study or work continuously without breaks, my concentration tends to drop and to fall and making the task feel even more exhausting.

✓ For example, if I have to study or work continuously without breaks, my concentration tends to drop and fall, making the task feel even more exhausting.

The phrase 'do study' is incorrect; 'study' should be used without 'do'. Also, 'and to fall and making' is ungrammatical; it should be 'and fall, making' to correctly connect the ideas. This is a sentence structure error.

× Well recently I have completed my scanned RE education and commerce domain and in future an if I will get a job to require a be patient then definitely I work to be a patient person or to become a patient personality.

✓ Well, recently I have completed my scanned RE education and commerce domain, and in the future, if I get a job that requires me to be patient, then definitely I will work to be a patient person or to become a patient individual.

This sentence has multiple errors: missing commas, incorrect word order, incorrect modal verb usage, and awkward phrasing. 'An if I will get' should be 'if I get'; 'to require a be patient' should be 'that requires me to be patient'; 'I work to be' should be 'I will work to be'; 'patient personality' is unnatural, better 'patient individual'. These corrections fix sentence structure and verb usage.

× Definitely, I feel that I am more patient now as compared to when I was a child. Because there are some sort of memories in my childhood which I like Bradford Toby and prefer to do an the very hurry up.

✓ Definitely, I feel that I am more patient now compared to when I was a child because there are some memories from my childhood when I liked to rush and preferred to do things very hurriedly.

The original sentence has unclear pronouns and incorrect phrases like 'which I like Bradford Toby' and 'prefer to do an the very hurry up'. These are corrected to clear pronouns and proper expressions: 'liked to rush' and 'preferred to do things very hurriedly'. Also, 'as compared to' is simplified to 'compared to' for naturalness.

× But nowadays I think I am Noah.

✓ But nowadays I think I am calmer.

The word 'Noah' is likely a mishearing or typo. The intended word is probably 'calmer' to contrast with impatience. Correcting this pronoun or word choice clarifies the meaning.