Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ немного запутан и содержит грамматические ошибки. Рекомендуется использовать более простые и чёткие предложения, избегать излишней сложности и повторов. Также стоит улучшить связность и логику ответа.

例: To be honest, I am not very patient. I always try to finish my tasks on time. When I have important things to do, I focus on completing them first, and only then I allow myself to relax.

提案: Ответ содержит ошибки в грамматике и структуре, а также неясные формулировки. Следует использовать правильные артикли, согласование чисел и более чётко выражать мысли, избегая повторов.

例: Usually, household chores and lesson plans for the English kindergarten make me feel impatient. If I don't finish these tasks, I feel like I forgot something and cannot be patient.

提案: Ответ достаточно информативен, но содержит ошибки и повторения. Рекомендуется улучшить грамматику, использовать более точные слова и связки для плавности речи.

例: I usually find it hard to concentrate on important tasks and feel anxious. For example, recently I translated a book of over 300 pages, and during that time, I couldn't focus on household chores because I was worried until I finished the translation.

提案: Ответ неполный и содержит ошибки, а также неясные фразы. Следует строить полные предложения, избегать ошибок и приводить конкретные примеры для ясности.

例: Yes, my job requires me to be very patient because I work with three children aged 2 to 3 years old. They can easily notice if I am impatient, so I have to stay calm. For example, even when I was ill recently, I tried to be patient with them.

提案: Ответ хороший, но можно улучшить связность и грамматику. Рекомендуется использовать более плавные переходы и избегать повторов.

例: Actually, I think I was more patient as a child than I am now. For example, when my parents couldn't afford to buy me toys, I patiently waited until my birthday. But now, since I can buy whatever I want, I am less patient.

× I always can't see it in one place I should finish it and after that only I can relax.

✓ I can't always see it in one place; I should finish it, and only after that can I relax.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and sentence structure, making it confusing. The modal verb 'can't' should come before 'always' for correct emphasis, and the sentence should be split for clarity. Also, 'after that only I can relax' is awkward; the correct order is 'only after that can I relax.'

× Usually they are a household chores, lesson plans that I should finish and lesson plans for the English kindergarten.

✓ Usually, they are household chores and lesson plans that I should finish, including lesson plans for the English kindergarten.

The article 'a' is incorrectly used before the plural noun 'household chores.' Also, the sentence structure is awkward. Removing 'a' and clarifying the list improves grammatical correctness and clarity.

× If I don't do this tasks, I always feel like I forgot something and I could I can be patient.

✓ If I don't do these tasks, I always feel like I forgot something, and I can't be patient.

The demonstrative pronoun 'this' is incorrectly used with the plural noun 'tasks'; it should be 'these.' Also, the phrase 'I could I can be patient' is incorrect and confusing; it should be 'I can't be patient.'

× I usually find it hard to concentrate on important things and I feel anxious.

✓ I usually find it hard to concentrate on important things, and I feel anxious.

A comma is needed before the conjunction 'and' to separate two independent clauses for correct sentence structure.

× For example, recently I translated a book which consists of more than 300 pages and I couldn't concentrate on my household tours.

✓ For example, recently I translated a book which consisted of more than 300 pages, and I couldn't concentrate on my household chores.

The verb 'consists' should be in the past tense 'consisted' to match the past action 'translated.' Also, 'tours' is a typo and should be 'chores.'

× Yes, actually does.

✓ Yes, actually it does.

The sentence is missing the subject 'it' before the auxiliary verb 'does.'

× I must be really patient because I work with three 213 years old kids and they usually can feel how I'm not patient or something like this.

✓ I must be really patient because I work with three 2- to 3-year-old kids, and they can usually tell when I'm not patient or something like that.

The phrase 'three 213 years old kids' is incorrect and unclear. It should be 'three 2- to 3-year-old kids.' Also, 'usually can feel how I'm not patient' is awkward; 'can usually tell when I'm not patient' is better.

× For example, recently I was ill and my kids.

✓ For example, recently I was ill, and my kids...

The sentence is incomplete and lacks a main verb or predicate after 'my kids.' It needs completion to be grammatically correct.

× Actually, I think I used to be more patient as a child rather than as an adult because for example, when my parents couldn't afford me something and they told me to wait until my birthday when I asked for a toys, I patiently waited for my birthday party.

✓ Actually, I think I used to be more patient as a child than as an adult because, for example, when my parents couldn't afford something for me and told me to wait until my birthday when I asked for toys, I patiently waited for my birthday party.

The phrase 'afford me something' is incorrect; it should be 'afford something for me.' Also, 'a toys' is incorrect; 'toys' is plural and does not need 'a.' The comparison 'more patient as a child rather than as an adult' is better expressed as 'more patient as a child than as an adult.'

× But now I can buy everything whatever I want.

✓ But now I can buy whatever I want.

The phrase 'everything whatever I want' is redundant. 'Whatever I want' alone is sufficient and correct.