Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は意味が伝わりますが、文法の誤りや冗長な表現が見られます。例えば、「I usually eat snacks after I finish my job at home. My favorite snack is chocolate.」のように簡潔で正確な表現を心がけましょう。

例: I usually eat snacks after finishing my work at home. My favorite snack is chocolate because I really like its taste.

提案: 文法ミスがあり、意味が少し分かりにくいです。接続詞や理由を明確にし、簡潔に答えることが大切です。例えば、「I don't think eating snacks is healthy because I usually gain weight when I eat them. Therefore, I feel I should stop eating snacks.」のように表現しましょう。

例: I don't think eating snacks is healthy because I usually gain weight when I eat them. Therefore, I feel I should stop eating snacks.

提案: 時制の使い方に注意し、文を簡潔にまとめましょう。例えば、「I didn't eat many snacks when I was young because my mother often scolded me. But now I live alone, so I can eat more snacks at home.」のようにすると自然です。

例: I didn't eat many snacks when I was young because my mother often scolded me. But now I live alone, so I can eat more snacks at home.

提案: 内容は良いですが、繰り返しを避け、接続詞を使って文をつなげるとより自然です。例えば、「My favorite snack is white chocolate, which I eat almost every day because it is very sweet and looks cute.」のように表現しましょう。

例: My favorite snack is white chocolate, which I eat almost every day because it is very sweet and looks cute.

× I usually eat snacks after I finish my job in my home and I usually eat chocolate which I favorite flavor.

✓ I usually eat snacks after I finish my job at home and I usually eat chocolate which is my favorite flavor.

The phrase 'which I favorite flavor' is incorrect because it lacks the verb 'is' and the possessive pronoun 'my'. Also, 'in my home' is better expressed as 'at home'. The correction adds the verb 'is' and the possessive pronoun 'my' to form a correct relative clause, and changes the preposition for natural English usage.

× I usually eat snacks after I finish my job in my home and I usually eat chocolate which I favorite flavor.

✓ I usually eat snacks after I finish my job at home and I usually eat chocolate which is my favorite flavor.

The preposition 'in' is not typically used with 'home' when referring to one's own residence in this context. The correct preposition is 'at'. This is a common prepositional usage error.

× I don't think so because I when I eat snacks I usually get weight so I feel I have to stop eating it.

✓ I don't think so because when I eat snacks I usually gain weight, so I feel I have to stop eating them.

The phrase 'get weight' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'gain' when referring to increasing body weight. Also, 'eating it' is incorrect because 'snacks' is plural, so 'them' should be used. The modal verb 'have to' is correctly used here to express necessity.

× I don't think so because I when I eat snacks I usually get weight so I feel I have to stop eating it.

✓ I don't think so because when I eat snacks I usually gain weight, so I feel I have to stop eating them.

The pronoun 'it' is singular but refers to 'snacks', which is plural. The correct pronoun is 'them'. Also, 'get weight' should be 'gain weight'.

× I don't eat much snack when I was a young because my mother often scolded me if I eat too much snacks at home.

✓ I didn't eat many snacks when I was young because my mother often scolded me if I ate too many snacks at home.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'Don't eat' should be 'didn't eat' to match past time. 'Much snack' should be 'many snacks' because 'snack' is countable here. 'If I eat' should be 'if I ate' to maintain past tense consistency. Also, 'a young' is incorrect; 'young' is an adjective and does not need 'a'.

× I don't eat much snack when I was a young because my mother often scolded me if I eat too much snacks at home.

✓ I didn't eat many snacks when I was young because my mother often scolded me if I ate too many snacks at home.

'Much snack' is incorrect because 'snack' is countable; 'many snacks' is correct. Also, 'too much snacks' is incorrect; it should be 'too many snacks' because 'snacks' is plural and countable.

× I don't eat much snack when I was a young because my mother often scolded me if I eat too much snacks at home.

✓ I didn't eat many snacks when I was young because my mother often scolded me if I ate too many snacks at home.

The verb tenses are inconsistent. 'Don't eat' should be 'didn't eat' to match the past time frame. 'If I eat' should be 'if I ate' to maintain past tense in the conditional clause.

× But now I I live alone and I can eat a lot of snacks in my home.

✓ But now I live alone and I can eat a lot of snacks at home.

The preposition 'in' is less natural than 'at' when referring to one's home in this context. Also, there is a repeated 'I' which should be removed.

× But now I I live alone and I can eat a lot of snacks in my home.

✓ But now I live alone and I can eat a lot of snacks at home.

The preposition 'in' is not typically used with 'home' in this context; 'at home' is the correct phrase to indicate location.

× I don't eat much snack when I was a young because my mother often scolded me if I eat too much snacks at home.

✓ I didn't eat many snacks when I was young because my mother often scolded me if I ate too many snacks at home.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' because it refers to countable items. Also, 'much' should be 'many' when used with countable nouns.

× My favorite snack is chocolate. I usually eat it and my favorite flavor is white chocolate.

✓ My favorite snack is chocolate. I usually eat it, and my favorite flavor is white chocolate.

A comma is needed before 'and' to separate two independent clauses for clarity and correct punctuation.

× I think that it is very sweet and also it looks cute.

✓ I think that it is very sweet and also looks cute.

The subject 'it' is repeated unnecessarily in the second clause. Omitting the second 'it' makes the sentence more natural and concise.