Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid redundancy and improve clarity. For example, "in between two meats" should be "between two meals." Also, combine sentences to make your answer more natural and concise. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I usually eat snacks between meals, especially when there is a long gap. I prefer healthy snacks that contain a good balance of protein and carbohydrates.

提案: Complete your sentences and avoid grammatical errors. Use linking words to clarify your point. For example, finish your comparison and use correct articles and pronouns.

例: Eating snacks can be healthy depending on the type of snack. For example, consuming nutrient-rich snacks is better than eating unhealthy ones that are high in sugar or fat.

提案: Good structure and content. To improve, use more natural linking words and vary vocabulary. For example, replace "hence" with "so" or "therefore" and avoid repeating "snack" too often.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because there was a long time between meals, which made me feel tired. Therefore, having a quick snack helped me regain energy.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and improve sentence flow. Use linking words like "for instance" and correct articles such as "a banana." Also, combine sentences to sound more natural.

例: I like snacks that are nutritious and provide quick energy. For instance, I often eat a bite of dark chocolate when I feel low, as it gives me an instant energy boost. I also enjoy fruits like a banana.

× I usually prefer to eat snacks in between two meats, especially when there's a large amount of gap in between meals.

✓ I usually prefer to eat snacks between two meals, especially when there's a large gap between meals.

The phrase 'in between two meats' is incorrect because 'meats' should be 'meals' in this context. Also, 'in between' is redundant; 'between' alone is sufficient. Additionally, 'a large amount of gap' is incorrect; 'a large gap' is the correct expression because 'gap' is a countable noun here.

× With decent protein and carbohydrates.

✓ I prefer my snacks to have decent protein and carbohydrates.

The original sentence is a fragment lacking a subject and verb, making it incomplete. It should be combined with the previous sentence or rewritten to form a complete sentence.

× if a individual is consuming a snack which is high in nutrients is better for him than eating a snack which is.

✓ if an individual is consuming a snack that is high in nutrients, it is better for him than eating a snack that is not.

The article 'a' should be 'an' before a vowel sound in 'individual'. The sentence lacks a subject for the second clause; 'it' is needed. Also, 'which' is better replaced by 'that' in defining clauses. The sentence is incomplete and needs 'not' to complete the comparison.

× there was a considerable amount of time between two of my meals which left me feeling less energized.

✓ there was a considerable amount of time between my two meals, which left me feeling less energized.

The phrase 'between two of my meals' is awkward; 'between my two meals' is more natural. Also, a comma is needed before 'which' to separate the relative clause.

× snacks that I prefer are fruits such as banana.

✓ snacks that I prefer are fruits such as bananas.

'Banana' should be plural 'bananas' because it refers to fruits in general, which is a plural concept here.