Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答较长且有些重复，表达不够简洁自然。建议简化句子结构，避免重复表达，并注意语法错误，如“on the weekend weekdays”应为“on weekdays”。

例: I usually eat snacks on weekends because I spend long hours at school during weekdays, where snacks are not allowed.

提案: 回答内容较好，但句子结构稍显简单，且有语法错误，如“is healthy to me”应为“are healthy for me”。建议使用更多连接词使表达更连贯。

例: I think it depends on the type of snacks. For example, chips and candy are unhealthy because they contain a lot of sugar and oil, but nuts are nutritious and good for my brain.

提案: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不自然，如“a lots snacks”应为“a lot of snacks”，“insist on cooking”应为“insisted on cooking”。建议注意时态一致和词汇搭配。

例: No, I didn't eat snacks often when I was young because my mother taught me about their harmful effects and always prepared healthy meals.

提案: 回答内容混乱且有多处语法和词汇错误，如“hazardous bread”可能是错误表达，应为“hazelnut bread”，“crumb cookies”应为“crunchy cookies”。建议使用准确词汇并简洁表达。

例: I like to eat chocolate and cookies. My favorite is hazelnut chocolate bread because of its rich flavor. I also enjoy crunchy cookies because they are delicious and memorable.

× our schools are not allowed to bring snacks to there.

✓ our schools do not allow bringing snacks there.

这里错误地使用了介词短语“to there”，应直接用“there”表示地点，同时句子结构需要调整为被动语态的正确表达。

× I don't have the opportunity to eat snacks on the weekend weekdays, but it's free on the weekends.

✓ I don't have the opportunity to eat snacks on weekdays, but I am free on the weekends.

“weekend weekdays”是矛盾的表达，应去掉“weekend”；另外，“it's free”表达不清，应改为“I am free”更符合语境。

× Some snacks like chips, candy, and chocolates are high in sugar and oil which is harmful to my health.

✓ Some snacks like chips, candy, and chocolates are high in sugar and oil which are harmful to my health.

主语是复数“sugar and oil”，谓语动词应使用复数形式“are”。

× some snacks like nuts with different types of nutrition can boost my brain and is healthy to me.

✓ some snacks like nuts with different types of nutrition can boost my brain and are healthy to me.

主语是复数“some snacks”，谓语动词应使用复数形式“are”。

× I need to thank to my mom who told me the detrimental effects of consuming a lots snacks and insist on cooking healthy meal for me.

✓ I need to thank my mom who told me the detrimental effects of consuming a lot of snacks and insisted on cooking healthy meals for me.

“thank”后不加介词“to”；“a lots snacks”应为“a lot of snacks”；“insist”应与过去时态保持一致，改为“insisted”；“meal”应为复数“meals”。

× So I seldom eat snacks when I was young.

✓ So I seldom ate snacks when I was young.

描述过去习惯时，谓语动词应使用过去时态“ate”。

× The chocolate is my favorite chocolate bread.

✓ The chocolate bread is my favorite.

原句结构重复且不自然，应调整为“Chocolate bread is my favorite”更简洁。

× I love the flavor of the mix of hazardous bread and nuts, which have found this really delicious.

✓ I love the flavor of the mix of hazelnut bread and nuts, which I find really delicious.

“hazardous”意思是“有害的”，应为“hazelnut”（榛子）；“have found this”结构错误，应改为“I find this”。

× Besides, I like the crumb cookies as well. It's crispy and unforgettable.

✓ Besides, I like crumbly cookies as well. They are crispy and unforgettable.

“crumb cookies”表达不准确，应为“crumbly cookies”；“It's”指代不明，复数名词应使用“they are”。