Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains some grammatical errors. Try to respond directly with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words like 'umm', and use correct grammar. Also, keep your answer concise and avoid redundancy. For example, explain briefly why you avoid snacks and what you eat instead, using linking words to connect your ideas.

例: I usually don't eat snacks now because I want to save money and focus on eating proper meals. Therefore, I avoid unhealthy snacks and prefer to have balanced meals instead.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but could be improved by using more precise vocabulary and linking words to make your response more coherent. Avoid informal phrases like 'and stuff' and 'you know'. Also, try to form complete sentences and explain your opinion clearly.

例: I don't think eating snacks is healthy because they usually contain a lot of sugar and calories. As a result, they can lead to obesity and skin problems like acne. Therefore, I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle by avoiding them.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains several grammatical mistakes and incomplete thoughts. Avoid filler words and ensure your sentences are complete and relevant. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details. Also, check your vocabulary and sentence structure for accuracy.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because my family used to buy many different kinds for me. They liked to spoil me with a variety of treats at home.

提案: Your answer lists examples but could be improved by using better sentence structure and linking words. Avoid filler words and incomplete phrases. Also, explain your preference and your efforts to change more clearly and coherently.

例: I enjoy high-calorie snacks such as crisps, doughnuts, and ice cream, even though I know they are unhealthy. However, I am trying to change my eating habits and follow a healthier diet now.

× Now I don't really eat snack umm S 1st I'm poor, I'm not able to afford umm food that's not like too very fulfilling and not very healthy.

✓ Now I don't really eat snacks. Umm, first, I'm poor, so I'm not able to afford food that's not too fulfilling and not very healthy.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' because it refers to the general category of food items eaten between meals. Also, the sentence was fragmented and unclear; adding punctuation and conjunctions improves clarity.

× Snacks normally high in sugar and calories.

✓ Snacks are normally high in sugar and calories.

The sentence lacks the verb 'are' to link the subject 'Snacks' with the predicate. This is a 'There be issue' but mainly a sentence structure problem; however, adding 'are' corrects the sentence.

× I really don't want it trying to have a healthy lifestyle, you know?

✓ I really don't want it; I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle, you know?

The original sentence is confusing and lacks proper modal verb usage and sentence structure. Separating the ideas and using 'I'm trying' clarifies the intention.

× Uh, definitely, I love snack.

✓ Uh, definitely, I love snacks.

'Snack' should be plural 'snacks' when referring to snacks in general.

× I have like a wide range of snacks in my home when I was young 'cause my family, they spoil the meat, they would like to put a lot of snack for me for some reason.

✓ I had a wide range of snacks in my home when I was young because my family spoiled me; they would put a lot of snacks for me for some reason.

The verb tense should be past ('had') to match 'when I was young'. 'Spoil the meat' is incorrect; it should be 'spoil me'. 'Snack' should be plural 'snacks'.

× So I not really.

✓ So, I didn't really.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks a verb. Adding 'didn't really' completes the sentence and matches past tense context.

× I like all the high calorie snack, umm, crisps, umm, doughnuts, ice cream, just everything that's unhealthy.

✓ I like all the high-calorie snacks, umm, crisps, umm, doughnuts, ice cream, just everything that's unhealthy.

'Snack' should be plural 'snacks' to match the list of items. Also, 'high calorie' should be hyphenated as 'high-calorie' when used as an adjective.

× I prefer it, which is not good.

✓ I prefer them, which is not good.

'It' is singular but refers to multiple snacks; 'them' is the correct pronoun. This corrects pronoun usage and sentence clarity.

× I'm trying to fix it now and I'll stick to a more healthy SK uh, diet.

✓ I'm trying to fix it now, and I'll stick to a healthier diet.

'More healthy' should be 'healthier' (comparative adjective). 'SK uh' is unclear and removed for clarity.