Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽지 않고 문법적 오류가 있습니다. 'high sugar can be focused' 대신 'high sugar helps me focus'와 같이 표현해야 합니다. 또한, 문장을 간결하고 명확하게 구성하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: I usually eat snacks while studying because the sugar helps me concentrate better on my exams.

提案: 답변이 명확하지만 좀 더 구체적인 이유와 연결어를 사용하여 답변을 풍부하게 만들 필요가 있습니다. 예를 들어, 'because' 대신 'since'나 'as'를 사용하고, 건강에 미치는 구체적인 영향을 덧붙이세요.

例: I don't think eating snacks is healthy for me since they contain a lot of sugar and fat, which can lead to weight gain and other health problems.

提案: 문법 오류와 어순 문제로 인해 의미 전달이 어렵습니다. 'they could avoid having snacks me' 대신 'they tried to prevent me from eating snacks'와 같이 표현해야 합니다. 문장을 더 자연스럽게 만드세요.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks as a child because I loved sweet desserts, but my parents were worried about my health, so they tried to prevent me from eating too many snacks.

提案: 답변이 다소 어색하며 문장 연결이 자연스럽지 않습니다. 'especially I like these chewy texture' 대신 'especially because I like their chewy texture'와 같이 연결어를 사용하세요. 또한, 're energize'는 're-energize'로 수정해야 합니다.

例: I definitely like to eat jellies and gummies, especially because I enjoy their chewy texture, which helps me feel re-energized and relaxed.

× Well I think I usually eat snacks while I study.

✓ Well, I think I usually eat snacks while studying.

The phrase 'while I study' is grammatically correct but using the present participle 'studying' after 'while' is more natural and idiomatic in English when describing simultaneous actions.

× This is because of high sugar can be focused on studying for exams.

✓ This is because high sugar helps me focus on studying for exams.

The original sentence has incorrect pronoun and structure. 'Because of high sugar can be focused' is ungrammatical. The correction uses 'helps me focus' to express the intended meaning clearly.

× What I mean is that it makes me more activate.

✓ What I mean is that it makes me more active.

'Activate' is a verb, but the sentence requires an adjective to describe the state of the subject. 'Active' is the correct adjective form here.

× Yes, I often ate snacks when I was a child because I loved sweet desserts, but my parents always worried my health so they could avoid having snacks me.

✓ Yes, I often ate snacks when I was a child because I loved sweet desserts, but my parents were always worried about my health so they tried to prevent me from having snacks.

The original sentence misuses 'worried my health' instead of 'worried about my health' and incorrectly places 'snacks me'. The correction fixes preposition use and sentence structure for clarity.

× Definitely, I like to have jellies and gummies especially I like these chewy texture so it can make me re energize and relax.

✓ Definitely, I like to have jellies and gummies, especially because I like their chewy texture, which helps me re-energize and relax.

The original sentence lacks proper prepositions and connectors. 'Especially I like these chewy texture' is incorrect; it should be 'especially because I like their chewy texture'. Also, 're energize' should be hyphenated as 're-energize'.