Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: In your answer, try to use the correct word 'snacks' instead of 'snakes' to avoid confusion. Also, make your sentences more natural and concise by directly stating when you eat snacks and why, without repeating ideas. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I usually eat snacks when I feel stressed because they remind me of my childhood. Eating snacks helps me relax and brings back happy memories.

提案: Please use the correct word 'snacks' instead of 'snake'. Also, try to organize your answer clearly by stating your opinion first, then explaining with specific reasons. Avoid repeating the same idea and use linking words like 'however' or 'but' to show contrast.

例: Yes, I think eating snacks can be healthy nowadays. However, in the past, snacks were often fried, which was unhealthy. Now, many snacks are made using healthier methods, so they are better for us.

提案: Remember to use the plural 'snacks' instead of 'snakes'. Also, use past tense consistently when talking about the past. Try to give more specific examples and avoid vague phrases like 'stuff like this'. Use linking words to connect your ideas.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because they had delicious flavors like sweet and spicy. For example, I enjoyed eating sweet biscuits and spicy chips.

提案: Use the correct word 'snacks' instead of 'snakes'. Also, explain clearly what you mean by 'sense of Kaka Kaka'—perhaps you mean the crunchiness or sound. Use more precise vocabulary and avoid informal expressions like 'Kaka Kaka'.

例: I like to eat snacks such as chips and fries because I enjoy their crunchy texture and the sound they make when I eat them.

× I usually eat snacks when I feel very stressed because actually I love eating snakes when I was a child.

✓ I usually eat snacks when I feel very stressed because actually I loved eating snacks when I was a child.

The verb 'love' should be in the past tense 'loved' to match the past time reference 'when I was a child'. Also, 'snakes' is a spelling error; it should be 'snacks'.

× So every time I eat a snake, it can help me to record the memory of my childhood which can release my stress.

✓ So every time I eat a snack, it can help me to recall the memories of my childhood which can relieve my stress.

The word 'snake' is incorrect; it should be 'snack' to match the context. Also, 'record the memory' is not idiomatic; 'recall the memories' is better. 'Release my stress' should be 'relieve my stress' for correct collocation.

× Yes, I think eating snacks now is very healthy because maybe in the previous period the snake is not healthy because they are always fried or dried.

✓ Yes, I think eating snacks now is very healthy because maybe in the previous period snacks were not healthy because they were always fried or dried.

'Snake' should be 'snacks' to refer to plural. Also, verb tense should be past 'were' to match 'previous period'. Subject-verb agreement corrected accordingly.

× So it's not healthy, but now it's always dried or using some technology to make it healthy.

✓ So it was not healthy, but now it's always dried or uses some technology to make it healthy.

The first clause refers to past, so 'is' should be 'was'. In the second clause, 'using' should be 'uses' to agree with the subject 'it' and maintain present tense.

× So I think eating snake is very healthy now.

✓ So I think eating snacks is very healthy now.

'Snake' should be 'snacks' to correctly refer to the plural form of snack items.

× When I was young, I often eat snacks because the snakes always have a very delicious flavor, such as sweet or spicy or stuff like this.

✓ When I was young, I often ate snacks because the snacks always had a very delicious flavor, such as sweet or spicy or stuff like that.

The verbs 'eat' and 'have' should be in past tense 'ate' and 'had' to match the past time frame. Also, 'snakes' is a spelling error; it should be 'snacks'. 'Stuff like this' is better as 'stuff like that' in this context.

× So I think snake is very delicious for me as a child, Yeah.

✓ So I think snacks were very delicious for me as a child, yeah.

'Snake' should be 'snacks' to refer to plural. Also, verb tense 'is' should be 'were' to match past time frame.

× Actually, I like to eat the snacks such as chips and fries because I love the sense of Kaka Kaka.

✓ Actually, I like to eat snacks such as chips and fries because I love the sense of Kaka Kaka.

The article 'the' before 'snacks' is unnecessary here; 'snacks' should be plural without 'the' to refer generally.

× It's very special. Yeah, I love the sound of eating the snakes.

✓ It's very special. Yeah, I love the sound of eating snacks.

'Snakes' is a spelling error; it should be 'snacks'. Also, 'the' before 'snacks' is unnecessary here.