Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and correct small mistakes such as 'snap' which should be 'snack'. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: I usually eat snacks in the midmorning or afternoon because I start to feel hungry at these times. Additionally, I often snack while watching something or working on my laptop, as it helps me stay focused and maintain my energy.

提案: Avoid vague phrases like 'kind of depends' and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words such as 'however' properly and avoid incomplete phrases like 'as a gives you pleasure'.

例: Whether snacking is healthy depends on what I eat. Usually, I prefer healthy snacks like fruits or nuts to avoid exceeding my daily calorie intake and stay fit. However, I sometimes enjoy French fries or other fried foods as a treat to give myself pleasure.

提案: Good answer with clear structure and relevant details. To improve, try to use linking words like 'because' more effectively and vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition.

例: I used to eat snacks quite often when I was little because they were convenient and tasty. For example, I frequently ate chocolates, chips, and biscuits as snacking was a regular part of my daily routine.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and improve sentence flow. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct awkward phrasing such as 'when during snack time'. Keep your answer concise and clear.

例: I like eating French fries, chocolates, and biscuits during snack time, but I don't have them often nowadays because they are not very healthy for me.

× However, I sometimes enjoy eating French fries or other fried foods as a gives you pleasure to treat myself.

✓ However, I sometimes enjoy eating French fries or other fried foods as they give me pleasure to treat myself.

The original sentence uses 'as a gives you pleasure' which is grammatically incorrect. The conjunction 'as' should be followed by a clause with a subject and verb. Here, 'they give me pleasure' correctly expresses the idea. This correction improves sentence clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I like eating French fries and chocolates and biscuits for tea, uh, when during snack time, but I don't have them quite often nowadays because, uh, they are not very healthy for me.

✓ I like eating French fries, chocolates, and biscuits for tea, uh, during snack time, but I don't have them quite often nowadays because, uh, they are not very healthy for me.

The phrase 'when during snack time' is incorrect because 'when' and 'during' both indicate time and should not be used together here. Removing 'when' and keeping 'during snack time' is correct. Also, adding commas between items in a list improves clarity.