Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence and then add a reason using linking words like 'because' or 'as'. For example, instead of saying 'this time I feel a bit hungry so that's why I found it was the best time', you can say 'I usually eat snacks in the evening because I feel hungry after work.'

例: I usually eat snacks in the evening because I feel hungry after work and need some energy before dinner.

提案: Improve your answer by using correct grammar and clearer structure. Use linking words like 'however' to contrast ideas. Also, be specific about what kinds of snacks you eat and why. For example, say 'I think eating snacks is not always healthy; however, I usually eat snacks only once a week and avoid too much junk food to stay healthy.'

例: I think eating snacks is not always healthy; however, I usually eat snacks only once a week and avoid too much junk food to maintain a balanced diet.

提案: Focus on correct grammar and clarity. Use past tense consistently and avoid repetition. Also, explain what 'flitters' are or choose a more common snack name. For example, say 'Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. I loved snacks, especially fritters, which my mother always made at home.'

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. I loved fritters, which my mother always made at home.

提案: Avoid repetition and be more specific. Instead of saying 'I like all the snacks' and repeating 'I love Chinese food', say clearly what snacks you prefer and why. For example, 'I enjoy many snacks, but my favourite is Chinese snacks because of their unique flavours and variety.'

例: I enjoy many snacks, but my favourite is Chinese snacks because of their unique flavours and variety.

× Well, I usually eat snacks in the evening and this time I feel a bit hungry so that's why I found it was the best time to have some snacks.

✓ Well, I usually eat snacks in the evening and this time I feel a bit hungry so that's why I think it is the best time to have some snacks.

The phrase 'I found it was the best time' incorrectly uses the past tense 'found' when the context is about the present moment. The correct verb form should be 'think' to match the present tense context. This ensures tense consistency and clarity.

× Well I think it's not always healthy to eat snack, but yes I usually eat snack once in a week and I eat not too much junk food.

✓ Well I think it's not always healthy to eat snacks, but yes I usually eat snacks once a week and I don't eat too much junk food.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' because it refers to snacks in general. Also, 'once in a week' is better expressed as 'once a week'. Additionally, 'I eat not too much junk food' is corrected to 'I don't eat too much junk food' for proper negation and natural phrasing.

× Yes, I oftenly eat snacks. I love snacks and my most favorite snack is the flitters and my mom is my mom. Always make the snack in my home.

✓ Yes, I often eat snacks. I love snacks and my most favorite snack is the fritters and my mom always makes snacks at home.

The adverb 'oftenly' is incorrect; the correct form is 'often'. 'Flitters' is likely a misspelling of 'fritters'. The phrase 'my mom is my mom' is redundant and removed. 'Always make the snack in my home' is corrected to 'my mom always makes snacks at home' for subject-verb agreement and natural phrasing.

× I like all the snacks, but my most favorite snack is the Chinese food and I love Chinese food.

✓ I like all snacks, but my most favorite food is Chinese food and I love it.

'The snacks' is better as 'all snacks' for generalization. 'My most favorite snack is the Chinese food' is incorrect because 'Chinese food' is uncountable and not a snack; it should be 'my most favorite food is Chinese food'. Repetition of 'I love Chinese food' is simplified to 'I love it' for conciseness.