Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and grammatically correct by saying "I usually eat snacks whenever I feel very hungry and need some energy." Also, avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I usually eat snacks whenever I feel very hungry and need some energy. For example, I prefer chocolate and chips because they taste delicious and give me a quick boost.

提案: Your answer is unclear and lacks coherence. Try to express your opinion clearly and use linking words to explain your reasoning. Also, avoid vague phrases like "if I would choose like for example not."

例: To be honest, eating junk food snacks is not healthy. However, if I choose healthier options like fruits or nuts, then snacks can be good for me.

提案: Your answer needs clearer structure and grammar. Start with a direct response, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear phrases.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. For example, on my days off from school, I would eat a lot of snacks, especially when I was bored and had nothing to do.

提案: Your answer is quite good but can be improved by using linking words and varying sentence structures. Also, avoid repeating similar ideas and try to be more concise.

例: I really love eating chocolate and chips, especially chocolate. It doesn't matter what type it is; I enjoy dark chocolate and hazelnut chocolate the most because of their rich flavours.

× Every time when I feel very hungry and I need some energy, I would eat them snacks.

✓ Every time I feel very hungry and need some energy, I eat those snacks.

The phrase 'when' is unnecessary after 'Every time', and 'would' is incorrectly used here; simple present tense 'eat' fits better for habitual actions. Also, 'them snacks' is incorrect; 'those snacks' is the correct demonstrative pronoun. The adverb placement and word choice needed adjustment.

× Every time when I feel very hungry and I need some energy, I would eat them snacks.

✓ Every time I feel very hungry and need some energy, I eat those snacks.

The pronoun 'them' is incorrect here; 'those' should be used as a demonstrative adjective before 'snacks'.

× My preference is chocolate and chips.

✓ My preference is chocolate and chips.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no correction needed.

× It's very yummy.

✓ They are very yummy.

'Yummy' is an adjective describing plural 'snacks', so the subject should be plural 'They' instead of 'It'. Also, 'very yummy' is acceptable but 'They are delicious' could be more formal.

× To be honest it's not healthy at all eating junkie food but if I would choose like for example not, then this is the healthy options for me.

✓ To be honest, it's not healthy at all to eat junk food, but if I had to choose, for example, this would be the healthy option for me.

The phrase 'eating junkie food' is awkward; 'to eat junk food' is correct. 'Junkie' is incorrect adjective; 'junk' is correct. 'If I would choose like for example not' is unclear and ungrammatical; 'if I had to choose, for example' is better. 'This is the healthy options' has plural 'options' but singular 'this'; corrected to 'this would be the healthy option'.

× Yes I did I was addicted with eating snacks whenever I felt hungry and nothing to do.

✓ Yes, I did. I was addicted to eating snacks whenever I felt hungry and had nothing to do.

The phrase 'addicted with' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'addicted to'. Also, 'nothing to do' needs a verb 'had' to be grammatically correct.

× Yes I did I was addicted with eating snacks whenever I felt hungry and nothing to do.

✓ Yes, I did. I was addicted to eating snacks whenever I felt hungry and had nothing to do.

The preposition 'with' is incorrect after 'addicted'; the correct preposition is 'to'.

× For example when I my day off no school I usually eat a lot of snacks even I go by myself to.

✓ For example, when I have a day off with no school, I usually eat a lot of snacks, even when I go out by myself.

The original sentence is fragmented and lacks verbs in places. 'When I my day off no school' is missing 'have' and proper structure. 'Even I go by myself to' is incomplete; 'even when I go out by myself' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× I really love to eat chocolate and chips, especially chocolate I cannot stop eating.

✓ I really love to eat chocolate and chips; especially chocolate, I cannot stop eating it.

The pronoun 'it' is needed after 'cannot stop eating' to refer back to 'chocolate'. Also, a semicolon or period is needed to separate the two clauses.

× It doesn't matter what type of chocolate, I just love them.

✓ It doesn't matter what type of chocolate; I just love it.

'Chocolate' is uncountable here, so the pronoun should be singular 'it' instead of plural 'them'.

× I love dark chocolate, hazelnut chocolate.

✓ I love dark chocolate and hazelnut chocolate.

Adding 'and' improves the sentence structure by properly connecting the two types of chocolate.