Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by using correct sentence structures and avoiding redundancy. For example, say "I usually eat snacks in the evening when I come home. My wife makes tea, and I enjoy the snacks with it." Also, avoid unnecessary details that do not add value.

例: I usually eat snacks in the evening when I come home. My wife makes tea, and I enjoy the snacks with it.

提案: Improve your answer by using clearer and more natural expressions. For example, say "Eating snacks is unhealthy for me because I have fatty liver disease. Therefore, I eat only a small amount to satisfy my taste." Also, avoid awkward phrases like "making my tongue taste."

例: Eating snacks is unhealthy for me because I have fatty liver disease. Therefore, I eat only a small amount to satisfy my taste.

提案: Focus on making your answer grammatically correct and coherent. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. For example, "When I was young, I often ate snacks at school. My friends and I would eat together during lunch break, and sometimes we bought snacks from the canteen."

例: When I was young, I often ate snacks at school. My friends and I would eat together during lunch break, and sometimes we bought snacks from the canteen.

提案: Make your answer more natural and concise by saying, "I prefer Lays potato chips. They are made from potatoes, and the company is based in India. I really like their taste." Avoid repeating the same idea and incorrect terms like "potato lace."

例: I prefer Lays potato chips. They are made from potatoes, and the company is based in India. I really like their taste.

× At evening time I eat snacks when I come back to home, then buy my wife makes tea for me, then I eat snacks with the tea.

✓ In the evening, I eat snacks when I come back home, then my wife makes tea for me, and I eat snacks with the tea.

The phrase 'At evening time' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'In the evening'. Also, 'come back to home' should be 'come back home' without 'to'. The sentence structure was also confusing; 'buy my wife makes tea' is incorrect and should be 'my wife makes tea'. Using 'and' to connect the actions improves clarity.

× Eating snacks is unhealthy for me because now I am facing a fatty liver, so I do not eat in the big quantity.

✓ Eating snacks is unhealthy for me because I have fatty liver, so I do not eat them in large quantities.

The phrase 'I am facing a fatty liver' is awkward; 'I have fatty liver' is more appropriate. Also, 'do not eat in the big quantity' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'do not eat them in large quantities'. Modal verbs are not directly involved here, but the sentence needed correction for clarity and proper expression.

× I eat a little bit for making my tongue taste.

✓ I eat a little bit to satisfy my taste buds.

The phrase 'for making my tongue taste' is incorrect and unclear. The correct expression is 'to satisfy my taste buds'. Also, 'taste buds' is plural, and 'a little bit' refers to quantity, so the sentence needed rephrasing for clarity and correctness.

× When I was young I often eat snack eat snack whenever I went to a school and me and my friends suffering snacks and we ate together at the lunch break so and sometime we bought some snacks from the canteen.

✓ When I was young, I often ate snacks whenever I went to school. My friends and I enjoyed snacks, and we ate together during the lunch break. Sometimes, we bought some snacks from the canteen.

The verb 'eat' should be in past tense 'ate' to match 'When I was young'. 'Me and my friends' should be 'My friends and I' for correct pronoun usage. 'Suffering snacks' is incorrect; likely intended 'enjoyed snacks'. Also, 'at the lunch break' should be 'during the lunch break'. The sentence was run-on and needed to be split for clarity.

× I give more preference to Lays. It is a potato lace. It is made by potatoes and it and its company is in India. So I give more preference to it.

✓ I prefer Lays. It is a potato chip. It is made from potatoes, and the company is based in India. So, I prefer it more.

'Give more preference to' is awkward; 'prefer' is more natural. 'Potato lace' is incorrect; the correct term is 'potato chip'. 'Made by potatoes' should be 'made from potatoes'. The sentence structure was repetitive and needed simplification for clarity.