Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding repetition and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence and support it with a reason using linking words for coherence.

例: I usually eat snacks in the evening because that's when I feel the most hungry and crave something tasty.

提案: Your answer is confusing and contradictory. Make sure to clearly express your opinion and support it with reasons. Use linking words to organise your ideas logically and avoid hesitation sounds.

例: I don't think eating snacks after meals is healthy because it can lead to weight gain. Instead, it's better to eat snacks between meals when you're really hungry.

提案: Focus on using correct tense and clear sentence structure. Avoid unnecessary repetition and filler words. Provide specific details to support your answer and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young, especially when I felt hungry. However, I avoided eating snacks after meals because I was concerned about gaining weight.

提案: Try to organise your answer by starting with a clear topic sentence, then explain your preferences with reasons. Use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repeating similar words.

例: I usually enjoy eating nuts and fried snacks like chips and nuggets. Although they are unhealthy, I find them delicious and satisfying.

× I usually eat snacks at evening because I think the perfect time of eating snacks are at evening because we are craving so much of our snacks.

✓ I usually eat snacks in the evening because I think the perfect time to eat snacks is in the evening because we crave our snacks so much.

The preposition 'at' is incorrect when referring to parts of the day like 'evening'; the correct preposition is 'in'. Also, 'the perfect time of eating snacks are at evening' has subject-verb agreement issues and awkward phrasing; it should be 'the perfect time to eat snacks is in the evening'. Additionally, 'we are craving so much of our snacks' is awkward; 'we crave our snacks so much' is clearer.

× I usually eat snacks at evening because I think the perfect time of eating snacks are at evening because we are craving so much of our snacks.

✓ I usually eat snacks in the evening because I think the perfect time to eat snacks is in the evening because we crave our snacks so much.

The subject 'the perfect time' is singular, so the verb should be 'is' not 'are'. This is a subject-verb agreement error.

× I don't think so. It's very healthy to eat snacks, umm, usually after a meal because it, uh, gains our weight.

✓ I don't think so. It's not very healthy to eat snacks, umm, usually after a meal because it, uh, causes us to gain weight.

The phrase 'I don't think so' is used incorrectly here; it should be followed by a negative statement to express disagreement. Also, 'gains our weight' is incorrect; the verb 'gain' should be used with 'cause us to gain weight' or 'makes us gain weight'.

× So I don't think so we should eat snacks after a meal.

✓ So I don't think we should eat snacks after a meal.

The phrase 'I don't think so we should' is incorrect; 'so' is unnecessary and disrupts the sentence structure. The correct form is 'I don't think we should'.

× We should eat snacks, uh, in umm, case of when.

✓ We should eat snacks, uh, in case of hunger.

The phrase 'in case of when' is incorrect and incomplete. The correct expression is 'in case of hunger' or 'when we are hungry' to indicate the appropriate time to eat snacks.

× Yes, I do eat snacks when I was young and I'm young, I awfully eat a snack when I'm feeling hungry.

✓ Yes, I used to eat snacks when I was young, and when I was young, I often ate a snack when I was feeling hungry.

The sentence mixes present tense 'do eat' and 'I'm young' with past time references. The correct past tense form 'used to eat' and 'ate' should be used to describe past habits. Also, 'awfully eat' is incorrect; likely intended 'often eat'.

× Yes, I do eat snacks when I was young and I'm young, I awfully eat a snack when I'm feeling hungry.

✓ Yes, I used to eat snacks when I was young, and when I was young, I often ate a snack when I was feeling hungry.

The use of present tense 'do eat' and 'I'm young' conflicts with the past time frame 'when I was young'. The sentence should consistently use past tense to describe past habits.

× I awfully eat a snack when I'm feeling hungry.

✓ I often eat a snack when I'm feeling hungry.

The adverb 'awfully' is incorrectly used here; the intended meaning is likely 'often', which correctly quantifies frequency.

× But I don't eat snacks after a meal because it gains my weight, uh, because I'm a young so it uh, takes a lot of fat eating snacks at evening.

✓ But I don't eat snacks after a meal because it makes me gain weight, uh, because I'm young, so it causes me to gain a lot of fat when eating snacks in the evening.

The phrase 'it gains my weight' is incorrect; the subject cannot 'gain' weight. Instead, 'it makes me gain weight' is correct. Also, 'I'm a young' is incorrect; 'I'm young' is correct. 'Eating snacks at evening' should be 'eating snacks in the evening'.

× I usually like to eat nuts and some chips, Fried chips, fried Nuggets.

✓ I usually like to eat nuts and some chips, fried chips, and fried nuggets.

Capitalisation of 'Fried' and 'Nuggets' is incorrect; they should be lowercase unless at the start of a sentence. Also, a comma and conjunction 'and' are needed before the last item in the list for correct punctuation.

× They are very unhealthy for us but I usually prefer eating them because they are so yummy and I like them so much.

✓ They are very unhealthy for us, but I usually prefer eating them because they are so tasty and I like them very much.

The pronouns are used correctly here, but 'yummy' is informal; 'tasty' is more appropriate in formal speech. Also, 'so much' can be replaced with 'very much' for better formality.