Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 명확하지 않고 중복되는 표현이 많습니다. 문장을 간결하고 명확하게 구성하며, 구체적인 상황을 추가하여 자연스럽게 답변하세요.

例: I usually eat snacks when I am working to keep my energy up during long hours.

提案: 문법과 어휘 사용에 주의하고, 답변을 더 명확하고 자연스럽게 만드세요. 또한, 이유를 구체적으로 설명하는 연결어를 사용하세요.

例: Although eating snacks is not very healthy, I find them essential because they help me stay focused when I work hard. Recently, I have been enjoying chocolate snacks.

提案: 답변이 불완전하고 문장이 매끄럽지 않습니다. 명확한 주제문과 구체적인 이유를 포함하여 문장을 완성하세요.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young, especially in high school because studying was hard, so I ate a lot, which affected my weight.

提案: 답변이 비교적 명확하지만, 문장 연결과 어휘 선택을 개선하여 더 자연스럽게 만드세요.

例: When I was younger, I often ate sweet snacks like chocolate, jelly, and candy. However, nowadays, I usually prefer salty snacks such as potato chips.

× For working hard, working hard.

✓ For working hard.

The phrase 'For working hard, working hard.' contains a repetition of 'working hard' which is unnecessary and grammatically incorrect. The correct form is 'For working hard.' to express the reason clearly without redundancy.

× I think it's not healthy for me to eat next, but it is essential to me because when I work very hard, I need some sweetings.

✓ I think it's not healthy for me to eat snacks, but it is essential to me because when I work very hard, I need some sweets.

The word 'next' is a misused pronoun here; the intended word is 'snacks'. Also, 'sweetings' is incorrect; the correct noun is 'sweets'. Using the correct nouns clarifies the meaning.

× So I am very recently I am very into chocolate snacks.

✓ So recently, I am very into chocolate snacks.

The phrase 'I am very recently I am very into' is redundant and incorrectly structured. The adverb 'recently' should precede the verb phrase without repetition for correct present tense expression.

× Oh yes, I often ate some snacks, especially when I was a high school student I was very hard to study so I ate a lot of snacks so my weight was.

✓ Oh yes, I often ate snacks, especially when I was a high school student. I studied very hard, so I ate a lot of snacks and my weight increased.

The sentence lacks proper punctuation and has awkward phrasing. 'I was very hard to study' is incorrect; it should be 'I studied very hard'. Also, the last part 'so my weight was' is incomplete and needs clarification.

× When I was younger I ate sweet things very often, like chocolate and Jelly and candy.

✓ When I was younger, I ate sweet things very often, like chocolate, jelly, and candy.

'Jelly' should not be capitalized unless it is a proper noun. Also, commas are needed to separate items in a list for clarity.

× But usually I I'm really into potato chip.

✓ But usually, I'm really into potato chips.

The phrase 'I I'm' is redundant; only one pronoun is needed. Also, 'potato chip' should be plural 'potato chips' when referring to the snack in general.