Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat clear but a bit long and slightly repetitive. Try to make your response more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and improving sentence structure. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I rarely eat snacks nowadays because they often contain a lot of salt, which is unhealthy. Instead, I usually choose to buy fruit as a healthier alternative.

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains grammatical errors. Focus on directly answering the question with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Also, avoid vague phrases and improve vocabulary accuracy.

例: It depends on the type of snacks, but generally, eating too many snacks is unhealthy. Therefore, people should eat fewer snacks and choose fresh fruits like apples or bananas as healthier alternatives.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains grammatical mistakes. Try to organize your response with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use correct verb tenses and avoid incomplete sentences. Linking words can help your answer flow better.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young, especially while playing games with my friends. I used to eat a lot every day, which made me gain weight.

提案: Your answer is somewhat vague and has grammatical errors. Try to be more specific about the snacks you like and explain why you enjoy them. Use linking words to connect your ideas and improve sentence structure.

例: I like various types of snacks, but I especially enjoy sweet ones like corn snacks because they taste delicious. Eating them reminds me of my childhood, which makes me feel nostalgic.

× Actually I rarely eat or buy snacks so because it has so much salt and it's really bad for my health so I often chose to buy fruit instead of snacks.

✓ Actually I rarely eat or buy snacks because they have so much salt and it's really bad for my health, so I often choose to buy fruit instead of snacks.

The verb 'chose' is the past tense of 'choose', but the sentence is in present tense context, so 'choose' should be used. Also, 'it has' should be 'they have' to agree with the plural noun 'snacks'.

× Actually I rarely eat or buy snacks so because it has so much salt and it's really bad for my health so I often chose to buy fruit instead of snacks.

✓ Actually I rarely eat or buy snacks because they have so much salt and it's really bad for my health, so I often choose to buy fruit instead of snacks.

The phrase 'so because' is redundant and incorrect; only one conjunction should be used to connect the clauses. Using 'because' alone is appropriate here.

× Actually I rarely eat or buy snacks so because it has so much salt and it's really bad for my health so I often chose to buy fruit instead of snacks.

✓ Actually I rarely eat or buy snacks because they have so much salt and it's really bad for my health, so I often choose to buy fruit instead of snacks.

The pronoun 'it' refers to 'snacks', which is plural, so the correct pronoun is 'they' and the verb should be 'have' to agree in number.

× I think it depends on what's next you eat, but I think it's often bad for my health or and everyone should less eat snacks every day and because they should eat fresh fruit like apples or bananas as a healthier alternator.

✓ I think it depends on what you eat next, but I think it's often bad for my health, and everyone should eat fewer snacks every day because they should eat fresh fruit like apples or bananas as a healthier alternative.

The phrase 'what's next you eat' is incorrect; it should be 'what you eat next' for proper word order. Also, 'less eat' is incorrect; 'eat fewer' is correct when referring to countable nouns like 'snacks'. 'Alternator' is a wrong word here; the correct word is 'alternative'.

× I think it depends on what's next you eat, but I think it's often bad for my health or and everyone should less eat snacks every day and because they should eat fresh fruit like apples or bananas as a healthier alternator.

✓ I think it depends on what you eat next, but I think it's often bad for my health, and everyone should eat fewer snacks every day because they should eat fresh fruit like apples or bananas as a healthier alternative.

The phrase 'or and' is incorrect; only one conjunction should be used to connect the clauses. Also, 'and because' is redundant; 'because' alone suffices.

× Absolutely yes when I was a kid I always buy snacks to eat and why I was playing games or and I I eat so much everyday with my friends and on a daily basis so I really fat because.

✓ Absolutely yes, when I was a kid I always bought snacks to eat when I was playing games, and I ate so much every day with my friends on a daily basis, so I really got fat because of it.

The verbs 'buy' and 'eat' should be in past tense 'bought' and 'ate' to match the past time frame indicated by 'when I was a kid'. Also, 'why I was playing games or and I I eat' is incorrect and should be corrected to 'when I was playing games, and I ate'. The sentence was incomplete and needed 'got fat because of it' to be grammatically correct.

× There are various type of snacks that I really like but I think I really love the sweet flavor of the snack like corn snacks is really good and delicious.

✓ There are various types of snacks that I really like, but I think I really love the sweet flavor of snacks like corn snacks; they are really good and delicious.

'Type' should be plural 'types' to agree with 'various'. Also, 'corn snacks is' should be 'corn snacks are' because 'corn snacks' is plural.

× It made me feel compared to the kid when I eat it.

✓ It makes me feel like a kid when I eat it.

The phrase 'compared to the kid' is incorrect here; the correct expression is 'like a kid' to express similarity in feeling. Also, tense should be present 'makes' and 'eat' to match the habitual action.