Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it is a bit long and slightly repetitive. Try to be more concise and avoid redundancy, for example, by combining similar ideas and using linking words to improve coherence.

例: I usually eat snacks like potato chips, chocolate, or ice cream when I feel stressed, especially after a long day at work or during exam periods.

提案: Your answer is relevant and structured, but you could improve coherence by using linking words and making your points more concise. Also, avoid repeating similar ideas unnecessarily.

例: It depends on the type of snacks I choose; therefore, I always check the labels to pick those with lower sodium and sugar, which makes snacking healthier.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical errors and redundancy. Use the past tense consistently and avoid repeating words like 'together'. Also, try to link your ideas smoothly and be more specific.

例: When I was young, my siblings and I often ate snacks like potato chips while watching television, which created many memorable moments.

提案: Your answer is relevant but somewhat repetitive and contains minor grammatical errors. Try to avoid repeating the same phrase and use linking words to connect your ideas more naturally.

例: I enjoy potato chips because of their crispy texture and mouthfeel; however, since they are high in sodium and fat, I sometimes choose fruits as a healthier alternative.

× I often eat snacks when I was young.

✓ I often ate snacks when I was young.

The sentence refers to a past time ('when I was young'), so the verb should be in the past tense. 'Eat' is present tense; it should be changed to 'ate' to match the past context.

× I have siblings, so when we were young and live together, we always watched television together.

✓ I have siblings, so when we were young and lived together, we always watched television together.

The phrase 'live together' is in present tense but refers to a past time ('when we were young'). It should be changed to past tense 'lived' to maintain tense consistency.

× It was memorable moments.

✓ They were memorable moments.

'Moments' is plural, so the pronoun and verb should agree in number. 'It was' is singular; it should be 'They were' to correctly refer to plural 'moments'.

× But potato chips is unhealthy because they are high in sodium and fats, so sometimes I would use fruits as a snack.

✓ But potato chips are unhealthy because they are high in sodium and fats, so sometimes I use fruits as a snack.

'Potato chips' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is'. Also, 'would use' suggests conditional or habitual past, but the context is general, so 'use' is more appropriate.