Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and simplify your sentence for clarity. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: I usually prefer to have snacks in the evening after work or college because it gives me a relaxing break and a quick boost of energy.

提案: Avoid repeating phrases like 'also it also' and use linking words such as 'however' or 'but' to contrast ideas. Be more specific and concise in your explanation.

例: Yes, eating snacks can be healthy if you choose the right types. For example, fruits and nuts provide energy and nutrients, but chips and biscuits are less healthy.

提案: Focus on correct tense usage and avoid redundancy. Use linking words like 'because' to explain reasons clearly and keep sentences grammatically correct.

例: Yes, when I was young, I often ate snacks in the evening after school because they gave me energy and I enjoyed eating them while watching TV.

提案: Be careful with word choice and sentence structure. Use precise vocabulary and avoid unclear phrases like 'trips'. Also, try to make your answer more coherent with linking words.

例: I mostly prefer to eat wafers, biscuits, or drink juice in the evening because they satisfy my sweet cravings.

× I usually do prefer to have snacks in the evening after my work or after my college as it gives me an, uh, relaxing time and also a quick boost of energy.

✓ I usually prefer to have snacks in the evening after my work or after my college as it gives me a relaxing time and also a quick boost of energy.

The use of 'do' before 'prefer' is unnecessary here because 'prefer' is already in the present tense and the sentence is affirmative. Removing 'do' makes the sentence grammatically correct and more natural.

× Yeah, sometimes it's good for your health as having snacks in the middle of the day it helps you to gain a small boost of energy and also it also depends on the type of snacks we are having.

✓ Yeah, sometimes it's good for your health because having snacks in the middle of the day helps you gain a small boost of energy, and it also depends on the type of snacks we have.

The original sentence has redundancy and awkward structure with 'as having snacks... it helps'. Replacing 'as' with 'because' clarifies the cause-effect relationship. Also, removing the repeated 'it' and simplifying 'we are having' to 'we have' improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Having chips and biscuits may be unhealthy but having fruits and nuts in the afternoon will help you.

✓ Having chips and biscuits may be unhealthy, but having fruits and nuts in the afternoon helps you.

The sentence mixes modal 'may be' with future 'will help'. Since the context is general truth, present tense 'helps' is more appropriate than future 'will help'.

× Yes, as I was young I always prefer to have snacks in the evening after my work or school because it's also it's given me a boost of energy and also I prefer having snack as watching TV in the evening.

✓ Yes, when I was young I always preferred to have snacks in the evening after my work or school because it also gave me a boost of energy, and I preferred having snacks while watching TV in the evening.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. 'Prefer' should be in past tense 'preferred' to match 'was young'. 'It's given me' is incorrect; it should be 'it gave me'. Also, 'having snack as watching TV' is awkward; 'having snacks while watching TV' is correct.

× I mostly prefer trips along with wafers or juice or some kind different kinds of biscuits which can fulfill my cravings for sweet in the evening.

✓ I mostly prefer chips along with wafers or juice or some different kinds of biscuits which can fulfill my cravings for sweets in the evening.

'Trips' is a typo and should be 'chips'. 'Some kind different kinds' is redundant; 'some different kinds' suffices. 'Cravings for sweet' should be 'cravings for sweets' to use the plural form correctly.