Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable but lacks natural flow and has some grammatical errors. Try to make your sentences clearer and more concise. For example, avoid filler words like 'umm' and use correct tense and prepositions. Also, add linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I usually eat snacks in the afternoon, after lunch. I like sweets, so I often choose chocolate or doughnuts because they satisfy my sweet tooth.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but has repetition and some awkward phrasing. Try to avoid repeating words and use clearer expressions. Also, use linking words to explain your reasoning more logically.

例: Actually, eating snacks is not very healthy because they contain a lot of calories. Therefore, if we eat them, we should exercise to stay healthy.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains unrelated or confusing phrases. Focus on directly answering the question with clear and relevant information. Use simple sentences and avoid unnecessary words.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. I especially liked traditional Japanese snacks like rice crackers and sweet beans.

提案: Your answer is understandable but includes filler words and grammatical mistakes. Try to speak more fluently without fillers and use correct verb forms. Also, explain your reasons clearly with linking words.

例: I like eating sweets such as chocolate and donuts because they give me energy and make me feel happy.

× I usually eat snacks when I'm in after lunch time.

✓ I usually eat snacks after lunchtime.

The phrase 'when I'm in after lunch time' is incorrect and awkward. The correct expression is 'after lunchtime' to indicate the time when the action happens. This is a present tense usage indicating habitual action.

× I enjoyed it.

✓ I enjoy it.

The question is about current habits, so the present tense 'enjoy' should be used instead of past tense 'enjoyed'. Using past tense implies the action happened only in the past, which is inconsistent with the context.

× snacks or sweets have have a lot of like calorie calorie

✓ snacks or sweets have a lot of calories

The word 'calorie' should be plural 'calories' because it refers to a countable quantity. Also, the repetition 'have have' is a mistake. The phrase 'a lot of' requires a plural noun here.

× I think because snacks or sweets have have a lot of like calorie calorie, so when we eat them we have to exercise.

✓ I think snacks or sweets have a lot of calories, so when we eat them we have to exercise.

The phrase 'I think because' is awkward; 'I think' alone suffices. Also, 'have have' is a repetition error. The sentence is in present tense, so verbs should be consistent.

× Yes, I usually eat like all the snacks in Japanese.

✓ Yes, I usually ate all the snacks in Japan.

The question is about past habits ('when you were young'), so the verb should be in past tense 'ate' instead of present 'eat'. Also, 'in Japanese' is incorrect; it should be 'in Japan' to indicate location.

× Takashi I, I caught them. There was people.

✓ I caught Takashi and the others. There were people.

The original sentence is unclear and ungrammatical. 'Takashi I' is confusing; it should be 'I caught Takashi'. 'There was people' is incorrect because 'people' is plural, so 'There were people' is correct.

× I like eating sweets umm like chocolate or Donuts because uh, eating them make me more energy so I feel good when eating them.

✓ I like eating sweets, like chocolate or donuts, because eating them gives me more energy, so I feel good when eating them.

The verb 'make' should be 'gives' to agree with singular subject 'eating them'. Also, 'Donuts' should be lowercase unless a proper noun. Commas improve sentence clarity.