Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and coherent by avoiding repetition and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and be specific about the snacks you eat. Also, keep your answer within 5 sentences.

例: I usually eat snacks in the evening because I feel hungry around 5 PM after lunch. At that time, I often have sweets or chips to satisfy my hunger before dinner.

提案: Improve your answer by correcting grammar and making it more fluent. Use linking words like 'however' to contrast ideas and be specific about why occasional snacking can be beneficial.

例: Consuming snacks like chips or sweets on a daily basis is harmful to health; however, eating them once in a while is good because it reduces hunger and gives you more energy before dinner.

提案: Make your answer more structured and avoid sentence fragments. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide clear reasons for your habits in the past.

例: Yes, when I was young, I used to eat snacks daily because I craved chips in the evening before dinner. Since chips are easily available in the market, I could buy them anytime.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and improve sentence clarity. Use linking words to connect your ideas and describe your favorite snack more clearly and accurately.

例: I avoid eating snacks daily, but once in a while, I enjoy eating samosas. They are Indian snacks filled with potato and fried in oil, making them crispy on the outside and soft inside. They taste very delicious.

× I usually prefer to eat snacks in the evening because after having my after having lied lunch in the afternoon, I began to feel hungry at 5:00 PM.

✓ I usually prefer to eat snacks in the evening because after having my lunch in the afternoon, I begin to feel hungry at 5:00 PM.

The phrase 'after having lied lunch' is incorrect because 'lied' is the past participle of 'lie' meaning to tell an untruth, which is not appropriate here. The correct past participle for reclining or resting is 'lain', but here the intended meaning is simply 'having lunch'. Also, 'began' is past tense but the sentence is about a habitual action, so 'begin' in present tense is appropriate.

× At the time, I often have some. Sweet or chips to satisfy my hunger before D.

✓ At that time, I often have some sweets or chips to satisfy my hunger before dinner.

The period after 'some' incorrectly breaks the sentence. Also, 'Sweet' should be plural 'sweets' and 'D' is incomplete; it should be 'dinner'. The sentence needs to be continuous and clear.

× Consuming snacks such as chips or sweets or daily basis is harmful for health but once in awhile is good because it makes you feel less hungry an make you more energized before having your dinner.

✓ Consuming snacks such as chips or sweets on a daily basis is harmful to health but once in a while is good because it makes you feel less hungry and makes you more energized before having your dinner.

The phrase 'or daily basis' is incorrect; it should be 'on a daily basis'. Also, 'once in awhile' should be 'once in a while'. 'An make' is a typo and should be 'and makes'. These corrections improve clarity and grammatical accuracy.

× Yes, I when I was young I used to eat snacks on daily basis.

✓ Yes, when I was young I used to eat snacks on a daily basis.

The phrase 'I when I was young' is redundant and incorrect; 'I' should be removed. Also, 'on daily basis' should be 'on a daily basis' for correct quantifier usage.

× I used to crave for eating chips in the evening. Before having my dinner.

✓ I used to crave eating chips in the evening before having my dinner.

The sentence fragment 'Before having my dinner.' should be connected to the previous sentence for proper sentence structure. Also, 'crave for eating' is incorrect; 'crave eating' or 'crave' alone is correct.

× Becaused chips are easily available in the market you can buy an just it so I think yes.

✓ Because chips are easily available in the market, you can just buy them, so I think yes.

'Becaused' is a typo and should be 'Because'. 'An just it' is incorrect; it should be 'just buy them'. The sentence needs commas for clarity and correct conjunction usage.

× I avoid eating snacks in on daily basis.

✓ I avoid eating snacks on a daily basis.

The phrase 'in on daily basis' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'on' and it should be 'on a daily basis'.

× But once in awhile, I do eat the snacks.

✓ But once in a while, I do eat snacks.

'Once in awhile' should be 'once in a while'. Also, 'the snacks' is unnecessary; 'snacks' without 'the' is more natural here.

× It's an Indian dish filled with potato filling and it's fried in the oil.

✓ It's an Indian dish filled with potato filling and fried in oil.

The phrase 'and it's fried in the oil' is wordy; 'and fried in oil' is more concise and natural. Also, 'the oil' is unnecessary unless specifying a particular oil.

× And each crispier inside, ansoft in inside.

✓ It is crispier on the outside and soft on the inside.

The original sentence has spelling errors ('each' instead of 'each', 'ansoft' instead of 'and soft') and incorrect structure. The corrected sentence properly describes the texture with correct adjectives and prepositions.