Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a direct response with clear sentence structure and avoid redundancy. For example, start with a topic sentence and then add a reason or example using linking words.

例: I usually eat snacks whenever I feel hungry, especially in the afternoon or while working. For instance, I often have fruit or nuts to keep my energy up.

提案: Your answer is confusing and lacks coherence. Provide a clear opinion and support it with reasons using linking words. Use simple and correct vocabulary to express your ideas.

例: I think eating snacks can be healthy if you choose the right ones. For example, eating fruits or nuts can give you energy and nutrients, but eating too many sweets is not good for health.

提案: Your answer is unclear and does not directly address the question. Try to give a clear and concise response with supporting details. Use correct grammar and sentence structure.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. For example, I used to enjoy eating cookies and candies after school with my friends.

提案: Your answer has some good ideas but is not clearly expressed. Use complete sentences and link your ideas logically. Avoid unnecessary words and focus on clarity.

例: I like to eat sweet snacks because they help boost my energy. For instance, I enjoy chocolate or fruit when I need a quick pick-me-up.

× I usually eat his snack and anytime whenever I feel like eating something.

✓ I usually eat my snack anytime whenever I feel like eating something.

The pronoun 'his' is incorrect here because the speaker is referring to their own snack, so 'my' should be used instead.

× Yeah, I swear.

✓ Yes, I swear.

'Yeah' is informal and may not fit the formal tone of the response; replacing it with 'Yes' improves clarity and appropriateness.

× So I will eat every time, whenever I feel.

✓ So I eat every time whenever I feel hungry.

The sentence is incomplete and awkward; adding 'hungry' completes the thought and corrects the sentence structure.

× Hungry or even I'm doing, huh?

✓ Hungry or even when I'm doing something, huh?

The sentence is incomplete and unclear; adding 'when' and 'something' clarifies the meaning and corrects the pronoun usage.

× I don't know it's it depends on people body, what they want.

✓ I don't know; it depends on people's bodies and what they want.

The sentence lacks proper punctuation and has incorrect possessive form; adding a semicolon and correcting 'people body' to 'people's bodies' improves clarity.

× What they need is stepping on people if they wanna eat some healthy snack.

✓ What they need is to focus on themselves if they want to eat some healthy snacks.

The original sentence is confusing and uses incorrect pronouns and phrases; replacing 'stepping on people' with 'focus on themselves' and correcting 'wanna' to 'want to' clarifies the meaning.

× The boost their health by doing having some energy if some people don't.

✓ They boost their health by having some energy, but some people don't.

The sentence is fragmented and unclear; restructuring it and correcting quantifiers improves readability and meaning.

× Is it snack? When I was young, I was so fully that time we never answer anything.

✓ Is it snack? When I was young, I was so full; at that time, we never answered anything.

The sentence has tense errors and awkward phrasing; correcting 'fully' to 'full', adding punctuation, and fixing verb tense improves clarity.

× I will eat. I I did some kind of force anything what we will.

✓ I would eat. I did some kind of forced eating whatever we had.

The sentence is confusing and uses incorrect pronouns and verb forms; correcting verb tense and pronouns clarifies the meaning.

× I like to eat something sweet with help me to boost my energy.

✓ I like to eat something sweet which helps me boost my energy.

The sentence lacks proper relative pronoun and verb agreement; adding 'which' and correcting verb form improves grammar.

× I I'm just craving to eat something so it's an currency force that make me feel energetic and happy.

✓ I'm just craving to eat something, so it's a current force that makes me feel energetic and happy.

The sentence has redundancy, incorrect word choice, and subject-verb agreement errors; correcting these improves clarity and grammar.