Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答中有语法错误和表达不自然的地方。建议你使用完整的句子，避免重复，并且清晰表达时间和原因。例如，可以先直接回答问题，然后用连接词补充细节。

例: I usually eat snacks after dinner because I have finished my work or study by then. During the day, I have some time to rest and enjoy my snacks, which makes me feel peaceful.

提案: 回答中有语法错误和表达不清晰的问题。建议你用连贯的句子表达观点，使用连接词使内容更连贯，并具体说明原因。

例: No, I don't think eating snacks is healthy for my body. However, it makes me feel peaceful and happy. Therefore, I believe it is important to achieve a balance and not eat too many snacks.

提案: 回答中有语法和表达不清晰的问题。建议你用完整句子表达过去的情况，避免重复，并且具体说明原因。

例: No, I didn't often eat snacks when I was young because my family was very poor. Sometimes, my mother would buy some chips, but it was rare.

提案: 回答较好，但有些语法错误和表达不自然。建议你用连贯的句子表达喜欢的零食，并具体说明原因。

例: I like many sweets and snacks such as biscuits, chocolates, cakes, and candies. However, my favorite snack is fruit because it is very healthy and full of nutrients, so I enjoy eating it.

× Recently I often it'll snacks after dinner because at that time I I have a finished out of my work or study.

✓ Recently I often eat snacks after dinner because at that time I have finished my work or study.

The phrase 'it'll snacks' is incorrect modal verb usage; 'it'll' is a contraction of 'it will' which does not fit here. The correct verb is 'eat' to describe the action. Also, 'have a finished out of my work' is incorrect; it should be 'have finished my work' to indicate completion.

× In the day I have time to have some rest.

✓ During the day, I have time to rest.

The phrase 'In the day' is less natural than 'During the day'. Also, 'have some rest' is acceptable but 'rest' is more concise and natural in this context.

× I've having snacks.

✓ I have snacks.

'I've having' is an incorrect combination of present perfect and present participle. The correct form is 'I have snacks' to express habitual action.

× Makes me peaceful.

✓ It makes me peaceful.

The sentence lacks a subject. Adding 'It' clarifies that the action of having snacks makes the speaker peaceful.

× Snacks.

✓ Eating snacks

The single word 'Snacks.' is a fragment and not a complete sentence. It should be expanded to 'Eating snacks' to function as a subject.

× Eating snacks is not healthy for my body but.

✓ Eating snacks is not healthy for my body, but

The sentence ends abruptly with 'but.' It should be connected to the next clause with a comma to form a complete sentence.

× It can makes me peaceful and happy.

✓ It can make me peaceful and happy.

After modal verbs like 'can', the base form of the verb should be used. 'Makes' is incorrect; it should be 'make'.

× So I think maybe achieving a balance between this is very important for me.

✓ So I think maybe achieving a balance between these is very important for me.

The phrase 'between this' is incorrect because 'between' requires plural or multiple items; 'these' is appropriate here.

× Eating too much is very good about it.

✓ Eating too much is not good.

The phrase 'very good about it' is incorrect and unclear. The intended meaning is likely that eating too much is unhealthy, so 'not good' is appropriate.

× In his own maybe is.

✓ Maybe it is like that.

The original sentence is unclear and ungrammatical. A clearer expression is 'Maybe it is like that.'

× No, I didn't have many chances to enjoy snacks when I was a child because my family was very poor and there we didn't know for the 2 by snacks to enjoy snacks but sometimes my mother would buy some chips next.

✓ No, I didn't have many chances to enjoy snacks when I was a child because my family was very poor and we didn't have money to buy snacks, but sometimes my mother would buy some chips.

The phrase 'there we didn't know for the 2 by snacks' is incorrect and unclear. It should be 'we didn't have money to buy snacks'. Also, 'chips next' is incorrect; 'chips' alone is sufficient.

× I like all of those sweets, snacks such as biscuits, chocolates, cakes, candies and the truth, but my favorite is fruit because it is very healthy and full of nutrients.

✓ I like all of those sweets and snacks such as biscuits, chocolates, cakes, candies, and fruit, but my favorite is fruit because it is very healthy and full of nutrients.

The phrase 'and the truth' is incorrect and likely a mishearing or mistranslation of 'and fruit'. It should be replaced with 'and fruit' to list the snacks properly.

× And I enjoyed it.

✓ And I enjoy it.

Since the context is about current preferences, present tense 'enjoy' is more appropriate than past tense 'enjoyed'.