Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and completeness. Try to give a direct response with a clear topic sentence, followed by specific supporting details. Avoid incomplete sentences and redundancy. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I usually eat snacks in the evenings because I feel hungry after dinner. For example, I often have fruits or nuts to satisfy my hunger without overeating.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains inappropriate words. Please respond directly and clearly, using appropriate vocabulary. Provide specific reasons or examples to support your opinion, and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I think eating snacks occasionally can be healthy, especially if you choose nutritious options. For instance, if someone is dieting during the week, having a small treat once a week can help maintain balance.

提案: Your answer is somewhat confusing and incomplete. Try to answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid incomplete sentences and clarify your points.

例: When I was young, I occasionally ate snacks, especially on weekends. For example, I would have biscuits or chips when I felt bored of eating healthy food all week.

提案: Your answer is vague and contains incomplete sentences. Try to give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific examples. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and avoid redundancy.

例: I like different snacks depending on my mood. For instance, when I am relaxing, I enjoy eating a packet of chips, but when I am very hungry, I prefer something more filling like a sandwich.

× Well, usually on the evenings I. I want to have snacks.

✓ Well, usually in the evenings, I want to have snacks.

The original sentence has an incomplete structure and incorrect preposition 'on' with 'evenings'. The correct preposition is 'in' for parts of the day like 'in the evening'. Also, the sentence was incomplete and needed to be combined properly.

× It's like I feel empty at that time and I want to just have snacks or sometimes I have. Up.

✓ It's like I feel empty at that time and I just want to have snacks, or sometimes I do.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'I have. Up.' which is incomplete and unclear. The correction completes the thought and removes the unnecessary 'Up'.

× Well, I don't usually eat snacks so I believe sometimes having snacks is healthy and like for example, if you are a dumb person and I like on a whole week I am having a diet, then I believe uh, for a one day in a week it's OK to just have.

✓ Well, I don't usually eat snacks, so I believe sometimes having snacks is healthy. For example, if you are a busy person and you have been on a diet for a whole week, then I believe for one day in a week it's OK to just have snacks.

The original sentence uses 'dumb person' incorrectly; likely the intended word was 'busy person'. Also, the sentence structure is confusing and needs to be clearer. The phrase 'I like on a whole week I am having a diet' is incorrect and replaced with 'you have been on a diet for a whole week'.

× I'm a young girl, occasionally I. Eat snacks when? I feel bored having nutritious snack for a whole day or for a whole week, so I usually have snacks like at the weekends.

✓ I'm a young girl. Occasionally, I eat snacks when I feel bored of having nutritious food for a whole day or a whole week, so I usually have snacks on the weekends.

The original sentence has punctuation errors and incomplete sentences. 'Occasionally I. Eat snacks when?' is incorrect. Also, 'having nutritious snack' should be 'having nutritious food'. The preposition 'at the weekends' is better as 'on the weekends' in this context.

× Oh it depends. Like sometimes I'm just sitting and I am relaxing, then I want to have a packet. Or sometimes like I'm so hungry and I want to have something, you know, just. Not healthier then I like to have. Junk food.

✓ Oh, it depends. Sometimes I'm just sitting and relaxing, then I want to have a packet of snacks. Or sometimes, when I'm very hungry and want to have something, you know, not healthy, then I like to have junk food.

The original sentences have incomplete thoughts and incorrect word usage. 'Not healthier then' is incorrect; it should be 'not healthy'. Also, 'a packet' needs to specify what it contains, so 'a packet of snacks' is clearer. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.