Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable but can be improved by making it more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy like "sometimes also" and try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, be careful with word choice, for example, "snack jar" is unclear. Try to use more common expressions.

例: I usually eat snacks when I watch my favorite movies or in the evening during a short break from work. I often have some nuts and a cup of coffee.

提案: Your answer has some grammar mistakes and unclear phrases like "what you are consumed" and "good to good to have in a snacks." Try to use correct grammar and clearer expressions. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: I think it depends on what you eat. Healthy snacks like bananas or fruits are good for your health, but eating too much oily food can be harmful.

提案: Your answer is unclear and has many grammatical errors. Try to form complete sentences and avoid fragments. Also, provide specific details and use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: Yes, when I was a child, I often ate snacks. Whenever I had free time or went out to play with my friends, we would eat chips and drink soft drinks.

提案: Your answer is confusing and has incomplete sentences. Try to express your ideas clearly and use linking words to connect your thoughts. Also, avoid mixing unrelated ideas in one sentence.

例: I prefer healthy snacks because they are better for my health. For example, I like eating bananas or chips made from natural ingredients instead of fast food.

× I usually eat snacks whenever I watch my favorite movie or sometimes also I eat snacks in the evening.

✓ I usually eat snacks whenever I watch my favorite movie, or sometimes I also eat snacks in the evening.

The original sentence has awkward word order with 'sometimes also I eat snacks'. The adverb 'also' should come after the subject 'I' for correct English word order.

× I take a little break from my work and I take a quick snack jar and coffee.

✓ I take a little break from my work and have a quick snack and coffee.

The phrase 'take a quick snack jar and coffee' is incorrect. We say 'have a snack' rather than 'take a snack jar'. Also, 'snack jar' is unclear and likely incorrect here.

× I think it depends on what you are consumed because healthy snacks are good for your health.

✓ I think it depends on what you consume because healthy snacks are good for your health.

The phrase 'you are consumed' is incorrect. The correct verb form is 'you consume' to indicate the action of eating or using something.

× If you eat bananas or fruits it will be good to good to have in a snacks but other than that if you will consume too much oily food.

✓ If you eat bananas or fruits, it will be good to have as snacks, but other than that, if you consume too much oily food, it is not good.

The phrase 'good to good to have in a snacks' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'as snacks'. Also, the sentence needs commas for clarity and correct conjunction usage.

× Yes, when I was a kid I usually it's next.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid I usually ate snacks.

The phrase 'it's next' is incorrect and unclear. The past tense verb 'ate' should be used to match the past time frame 'when I was a kid'.

× And whenever I got free time or whenever I went. Out with my friends to play, we eat chips or a soft drinks and that time I'm not.

✓ Whenever I got free time or went out with my friends to play, we ate chips or drank soft drinks, and at that time I was not.

The original sentence has fragmented structure and incorrect verb tenses. 'We eat' should be 'we ate' to match past tense. 'A soft drinks' is incorrect; it should be 'soft drinks'. The phrase 'and that time I'm not' is incomplete and unclear; it should be 'and at that time I was not' with clarification.

× I really enjoy having a good healthy snacks because I feel like if I consume good snacks.

✓ I really enjoy having good healthy snacks because I feel that if I consume good snacks,

The phrase 'a good healthy snacks' is incorrect because 'snacks' is plural and should not have the singular article 'a'. Also, the sentence is incomplete and needs continuation.

× Eating a banana or a healthy diet? Chips.

✓ Eating a banana or healthy chips, rather than fast food,

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. It seems to contrast eating bananas or healthy chips with fast food. The corrected sentence clarifies this comparison.

× Rather than a fast food, it will be more helpful for my health.

✓ Rather than fast food, it will be more helpful for my health.

The phrase 'a fast food' is incorrect because 'fast food' is an uncountable noun and does not take an article 'a'.