Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答有些重复且表达不够清晰，建议回答时直接切入主题，避免多余的填充词，并且注意语法和时态的正确使用。可以尝试用更简洁的句子表达你的观点，同时增加连接词使句子更连贯。

例: I usually eat snacks during weekends when I go to the shopping mall with my friends. It helps me relax after a busy week at college.

提案: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不清的问题，建议用简单明了的句子表达观点，避免使用错误的词汇。可以先直接回答问题，然后用具体原因支持你的观点。

例: I think eating snacks is generally unhealthy because they often contain additives and hormones. However, sometimes eating snacks can help relieve stress and improve my mood.

提案: 回答中有很多语法和表达错误，建议先用一句话直接回答问题，然后用具体细节支持。避免使用不连贯的句子和错误的词汇。

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. I enjoyed buying spicy chicken and chips with my friends, which made my childhood more enjoyable.

提案: 回答不够完整且表达不清晰，建议用完整的句子表达你的喜好，并且说明原因。使用连接词使句子更流畅。

例: I like a variety of snacks, especially spicy chicken because it keeps me energized and improves my mood. I also enjoy tomato-based snacks because they are tasty and refreshing.

× Nowadays, you know, as a students in college, I don't have so much, so much time to eat snacks.

✓ Nowadays, you know, as a student in college, I don't have so much, so much time to eat snacks.

“students”是复数形式，但这里指的是单个学生，应该用单数“student”。

× So when I was up in the upper class, I will buy some snacks with my friends and just in addition, in the weekends, I will go to shopping mall to buy some things.

✓ So when I was in the upper class, I would buy some snacks with my friends and, in addition, on the weekends, I would go to the shopping mall to buy some things.

描述过去的习惯动作时，应该用过去时态“would”而不是将来时“will”。

× So when I was up in the upper class, I will buy some snacks with my friends and just in addition, in the weekends, I will go to shopping mall to buy some things.

✓ So when I was in the upper class, I would buy some snacks with my friends and, in addition, on the weekends, I would go to the shopping mall to buy some things.

“up in the upper class”中的“up”用法不当，正确表达是“in the upper class”。“in the weekends”应改为“on the weekends”。“go to shopping mall”前应加冠词“the”。

× I think it is good way to make me unwind and am careful.

✓ I think it is a good way to help me unwind and be careful.

缺少冠词“a”，且“make me unwind and am careful”结构不正确，应改为“help me unwind and be careful”。

× Well, in general, I think it is unhealthy way to our body to its next because you know next always filled with some hormones and other gaming code materials, which is unhealthy for our birthday by but in fact to relieve our stress and boost our mood.

✓ Well, in general, I think it is an unhealthy way for our body to eat snacks because, you know, snacks are always filled with some hormones and other chemical materials, which are unhealthy for our body, but in fact, they relieve our stress and boost our mood.

“to its next”应为“to eat snacks”，“next”应为“snacks”。“gaming code materials”应为“chemical materials”。“birthday by”应为“body”。主谓一致错误，“which is”应为“which are”。

× Yeah, you know, I'm a snack break when I was a kid.

✓ Yeah, you know, I was a snack lover when I was a kid.

“I'm a snack break”语法错误，应改为过去时态“I was a snack lover”。

× I hope it's like to going to go to some St. and some shops to buy some snacks like chicken or freckles chips, which is a.

✓ I used to like going to some stores and shops to buy some snacks like chicken or freckles chips, which are a...

“hope it's like to going to go”表达不正确，应改为“used to like going”。“St.”应为“stores”。

× I hope it's like to going to go to some St. and some shops to buy some snacks like chicken or freckles chips, which is a.

✓ I used to like going to some stores and shops to buy some snacks like chicken or freckles chips, which are a...

“chips”是复数，谓语应使用复数形式“are”。

× Which is the spice of my life and I will, I hope, hang out with my friends.

✓ They are the spice of my life and I would often hang out with my friends.

“Which”指代不明确，应改为“they”。“I will, I hope”时态和表达不当，应改为过去习惯“would often”。

× I usually do it.

✓ I usually did it.

描述过去习惯动作，时态应为过去时“did”。

× As I mentioned, as a food break, I like a variety of snacks.

✓ As I mentioned, as a food lover, I like a variety of snacks.

“food break”用词错误，应为“food lover”。

× For example, I like spicy chicken.

✓ For example, I like spicy chicken.

此句无语法错误，保持原句。

× I think it can not only keep me more and more in that analogy, but also it can boost my mood and they really my stress.

✓ I think it can not only keep me energetic, but also boost my mood and relieve my stress.

“keep me more and more in that analogy”表达不清，应改为“keep me energetic”。“they really my stress”语法错误，应为“relieve my stress”。

× In addition, I also like to is some tomato food. I think it is very.

✓ In addition, I also like some tomato-based food. I think it is very good.

“like to is some tomato food”表达错误，应为“like some tomato-based food”。句子不完整，补充“very good”。