Weather— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and coherent by avoiding redundancy and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and provide specific details about the weather patterns.

例: The weather where I live is quite unpredictable. Sometimes it's very hot, other times it's cool, and it can suddenly start raining. Despite this, it's a good place to live because we often have pleasant days to enjoy.

提案: Avoid fragmented sentences and unclear pauses. Use linking words to show contrast and provide clearer reasons with specific examples to support your preference.

例: When I was a child, I preferred hot weather; however, as I grew up, I started to love cold weather because the scenery during winter in my country is very beautiful and eye-catching.

提案: Work on sentence completeness and fluency. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide more specific details about why wet weather is uncomfortable for you.

例: I prefer dry weather because I enjoy relaxing and spending time outdoors. When it's wet, it becomes uncomfortable, especially because insects come out of the ground, which makes the experience unpleasant for me.

提案: Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear phrases. Use linking words to explain changes in your habits clearly and provide specific details about how often and why you check the forecast.

例: Previously, I used to go out without checking the weather. However, after moving to Canada, I always check the weather forecast before going out so I can dress appropriately and carry any necessary items.

提案: Focus on clear sentence structure and avoid fragmented sentences. Use linking words to explain cause and effect, and provide specific examples of climate change effects.

例: Due to the increase in global warming, climate changes have become harsher. For example, summers used to be mild, but now they are often intolerably hot. These changes are mainly caused by pollution and other environmental factors.

提案: Improve sentence fluency and coherence by avoiding sentence fragments. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide more vivid descriptions of the places you want to visit.

例: Yes, I enjoy visiting cities with different climates, especially cold ones. For example, in India, the areas near the Himalayas are very cold and pleasant, with beautiful snow-covered landscapes that are perfect for relaxation.

× The place in which I live, the weather is unpredictable.

✓ The weather in the place where I live is unpredictable.

The original sentence is a comma splice and lacks proper sentence structure. Reordering the sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's cool and suddenly it will start raining.

✓ Sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's cool, and suddenly it starts raining.

The word 'hard' is incorrect to describe weather; 'hot' is appropriate. Also, 'will start raining' is better as 'starts raining' to describe habitual or immediate weather changes. Commas are added for clarity.

× It is completely unpredictable, however it is.

✓ It is completely unpredictable, however it is a good place for people to live.

The original sentence is incomplete and fragmented. Combining it with the following sentence creates a complete and coherent thought.

× A good place for people to live.

✓ It is a good place for people to live.

This is a sentence fragment lacking a subject and verb. Adding 'It is' completes the sentence.

× And enjoy the pleasant days over here.

✓ People can enjoy the pleasant days here.

Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal and the original sentence is a fragment. Rewriting it as a complete sentence improves clarity and formality.

× When I was a child I used to prefer hot weather, but after? Growing up.

✓ When I was a child, I used to prefer hot weather, but after growing up,

The question mark is incorrect and 'Growing up' should not be capitalized or separated. The phrase should be connected properly to the sentence.

× I love it because of the scenic nature's in my country in the cold weather.

✓ I love it because of the scenic nature in my country during the cold weather.

The possessive form 'nature's' is incorrect here; 'nature' should be singular without an apostrophe. Also, 'in the cold weather' is better expressed as 'during the cold weather'.

× They are very pleasant an eye-catching.

✓ They are very pleasant and eye-catching.

The conjunction 'an' is incorrect; it should be 'and' to connect the two adjectives properly.

× I prefer dry weather because whenever I go out I want to.

✓ I prefer dry weather because whenever I go out, I want to relax.

The sentence is incomplete; the verb or action after 'I want to' is missing. Adding 'relax' completes the thought.

× Relax and spend some time outdoors.

✓ I like to relax and spend some time outdoors.

This is a sentence fragment. Adding a subject and verb makes it a complete sentence.

× When it's wet it becomes a bit uncomfortable in particularly the insects that come out of the ground.

✓ When it's wet, it becomes a bit uncomfortable, particularly because of the insects that come out of the ground.

The phrase 'in particularly' is incorrect; it should be 'particularly because of'. Commas are added for clarity.

× Make me feel bad.

✓ They make me feel bad.

The subject is missing; adding 'They' clarifies who or what causes the feeling.

× And give unpleasant experience.

✓ And give an unpleasant experience.

The sentence is a fragment and missing an article 'an' before 'unpleasant experience'. Adding it completes the sentence.

× Earlier.

✓ Earlier,

This is a fragment; it should be connected to the following sentence or completed.

× I used to go out whenever I want to go out, but after coming to Canada, I whenever I want to go out, first thing I do is to check the weather forecast and dress accordingly.

✓ I used to go out whenever I wanted to, but after coming to Canada, whenever I want to go out, the first thing I do is check the weather forecast and dress accordingly.

Tense inconsistency: 'used to' requires past tense 'wanted'. The phrase 'I whenever I want to go out' is incorrect and redundant; removing the extra 'I' improves clarity.

× And also carry the unnecessary materials for.

✓ I also carry the necessary materials with me.

The original sentence is incomplete and uses 'unnecessary' incorrectly. It should be 'necessary materials' and the sentence needs a subject and verb.

× Due to the increase in the global one Ming the climate.

✓ Due to the increase in global warming, the climate

The phrase 'global one Ming' is a misspelling of 'global warming'. The sentence is incomplete and needs to be connected to the next part.

× Stick changes are a bit harsh.

✓ climate changes are a bit harsh.

'Stick changes' is incorrect; it should be 'climate changes' to make sense in context.

× For example, earlier summer used to be a bit OK, but now summer is intolerable.

✓ For example, earlier summers used to be a bit okay, but now summer is intolerable.

Pluralizing 'summer' to 'summers' is more appropriate when talking about past habitual conditions. 'OK' is better written as 'okay'.

× However, it depends on the. Pollution and. The climatic changes.

✓ However, it depends on pollution and climatic changes.

The original sentence has unnecessary periods breaking the sentence. Removing them creates a proper sentence.

× Yes, I like visiting other cities with different climates, particularly the cities that are cold.

✓ Yes, I like visiting other cities with different climates, particularly those that are cold.

Repeating 'the cities' is redundant; replacing with 'those' improves sentence flow.

× For example, in India we have Himalayas.

✓ For example, in India, we have the Himalayas.

'Himalayas' is a proper noun that requires the definite article 'the'.

× And the places near Himalayas are very cold in pleasant, the snow covered areas have a beautiful.

✓ The places near the Himalayas are very cold and pleasant; the snow-covered areas have beautiful

Sentence is fragmented and lacks conjunctions. 'In pleasant' is incorrect; it should be 'and pleasant'. 'Snow covered' should be hyphenated as 'snow-covered'. The sentence is incomplete and needs continuation.

× Landscapes. To relax.

✓ landscapes to relax.

Fragmented sentence; combining with previous sentence completes the thought.